It's a matter of questions. It's no secret that in modern society family breakdown has become commonplace. The family is sacred, at all times it was considered and is considered so. However, for last years she weakens. I see one of the reasons for this in the process of emancipation of women. A woman works, earns a living. Maybe because of this, she has little regard for her husband. Maybe if a woman earns money, that's the way it should be? But I don't think so.

2013-07-15 12:00:07

Prosto4elovek replies:

, The head of the family should be the father, who will earn and support his family, it will not be decent if everything is the other way around, the mother will work to support the family, and the father will sit at home and play the computer. Also, financial issues should be decided by the father, not the children and not mother. Almost all responsibilities fall on the father, since he took this family, which means he must support it, take everyone on vacation, but they must all strive for some goal together. And the mother must do everything around the house. except for what is electric , electricity should also be done by the father, since he is a man and he should understand this. So, in my opinion, I think that the main thing in the family should be, and he should also look after his children who go to school, he should check diaries and walk on Parent meeting.For example, most of the girls go to the parents' meeting with moms, and the boys with dads. In the family, the man should be the main one!

2013-07-15 12:23:02

Evgenij Markovich says:

, According to all the rules, the head and support of the family is the husband and father. Men earn money and women spend it. But it's a classic. Not every modern girl it's to taste. And not every family is like that. Now there are more and more families where the wife becomes a breadwinner, she has her own business or a highly paid job, at a time when the husband does an excellent job with the household and children. Everyone should perform the function that is more convenient for him and within his power. And in some families, like mine, for example, the husband earns money, helps around the house, takes care of his son - he helps me a lot, and I, the woman, decide global issues. What to do, where to go on vacation, how to spend your free time, how to make repairs, how to draw up documents. As well as full control of complex situations and problem solving. Always, before doing something and making a decision, I always consult with my husband, if he is against it, I explain why this way out is the best. He agrees. Thus, it turns out that the head of the family - the HEAD - is me, and he thinks that he is. And nothing disturbs his male pride!

The question “who is the boss in the house?” is, of course, rhetorical, and we all know the answer to it very well. But nowadays, it will not be out of place to remind from time to time who is still in charge in the family, because often problems appear precisely when roles are incorrectly distributed in the house or someone wants to “take someone else's place”.

The truth is that Allah created a man and made him a support for a woman. And Allah created a woman and made her a comfort for a man. And if they (support and peace) unite together in peace and harmony, then in this union there will be a great blessing for both of them.

The Holy Qur'an 1 says that that Allah gave a man headship over a woman, as he gave him an advantage over her[in mind, determination, prudence, foresight, strength, constancy of observance 2, in that only a man can be a Prophet, Caliph and Imam, can read the azan, preach, conduct Friday and collective Namaz, be witnesses on special occasions, has the advantage when distributing an inheritance, in marriage, only he has the right to give a divorce, and also the genealogy is conducted through the male line] and on him lies the maintenance of his wife. From this verse it is clear that the Creator himself gave men the headship in the family. This is stated in the Qur'an, and it cannot be denied.

Men are the strong sex. Allah gave them an advantage over women not only in strength, but also in mind, prudence and other qualities. We must accept this obvious fact and not contradict what was transmitted from the Creator himself. And we say this in a general sense, meaning that in general men are smarter and stronger than women. However, this does not exclude that any particular woman may be smarter than many men or surpass them in knowledge. For example, the wife of the Prophet ‘Aisha taught the Companions of the Prophet and was the most knowledgeable of all women.

God created man and woman different and gave them different rights and responsibilities according to their characteristics. A pious Muslim woman understands that she is weaker than a man and does not seek to take his place. BUT worthy man does not seek to become like a woman and does not avoid the responsibility entrusted to him.

The Messenger of Allah said: “Every person is responsible for what Allah has entrusted to him. hom. The ruler is responsible and must take care of the people, the man takes care and is responsible for his family, and the woman takes care of the house, husband and children. Everyone is responsible for what is given to him.

It is important to always remember this and not to try to take someone else's place. Instead of competing, it is better to calmly carry out your duties and strive for piety, for in the end the one who is more God-fearing will be the best, regardless of whether he is a woman or a man.

A woman should not equate herself with a man and try to take precedence over him - this does not correspond to the culture of Muslims. A man should be in charge, and a woman is under his protection and guardianship. He is a provider and a support. He is the one who makes decisions, eliminates problems, and the last word should remain with him. And it's really great.

And when a woman begins to behave like a man, not believing that he will take care of her, believing that he will not cope with the role of the head, then this negatively affects both of them. Such a woman becomes aggressive, dissatisfied, cruel and categorical. She seeks to manage everything and constantly points out to her husband his mistakes and shortcomings. And a man next to such a woman may begin to lose his masculinity, becoming weak-willed. In the end, they are both unhappy.

A woman who seeks to dominate a man will never be happy with her marriage. If the husband ceded the reins to her and indulges her in everything, then she is unhappy, because women do not like weak-willed weak men. And if he does not give her the place of the leader, then she spends all her strength on rivalry with him, conflicting and quarreling. And all this is actually a sign of her stupidity and shortsightedness.

And the wisdom of a woman is to follow her natural nature - to be soft and feminine, to admit her weakness and become a joy to her husband. Such a woman inspires a man to success, and thereby develops herself as a person. It gives a man the opportunity to calm down, relax and accumulate masculine strength in himself. And he feels that she needs him and his protection, and next to such a woman he feels like a hero. This is the harmonious relationship between a man and a woman.

There are women who do not know how or do not want to live in the role of a follower, or are afraid to give control to a man, not trusting him. Perhaps even before marriage, they are used to making decisions and taking responsibility on their own, so they just can’t relax and trust a man. Such women can be advised the following:

1. Understand that your husband is not a rival, but an ally. And the Creator himself endowed him with leadership qualities, the ability to make decisions and be the head of the family. Men are more reasonable, calm and not as prone to emotions as women. They have the opportunity to focus on the main thing and make an informed decision. So calm down and learn to trust him. Rest assured that you are in safe hands. This advice has another plus - when a man feels that you trust him, then he himself wants to be even stronger next to you and take care of you even more.
2. Learn to obey. Even if the first time after marriage it will be difficult for you to step over your habits of independent living, then force yourself. Believe me, you will only benefit from this, and submission to your husband in no way degrades the dignity of a woman, but, on the contrary, shows her high culture.
   It is also important to always remember that, of all people, the wife is primarily obliged to obey her husband. But this does not mean that she must obey absolutely all his requirements. A wife has certain duties to her husband, and they must be fulfilled unquestioningly, and in other matters there are concepts of what it is desirable for her to do and how best to act.
3. Stop correcting your husband's behavior at every step and giving him "valuable instructions." Usually women do this because they are afraid that he will make a mistake. But he is an adult who is able to make a decision and evaluate the consequences! Even if he makes a mistake, he is able to draw conclusions. He is the head of the family, not your child, and you are not his mother!
4. Cultivate respect for your spouse. If you want to be a queen, then treat your husband like a king. Agree with him, do not challenge his decisions, value his opinion, do not allow yourself to criticize him, find fault with him and show him your displeasure. Remember how you behave in the company of those people whom you deeply respect. Are you going to make sharp remarks about them or correct their decisions?! Bring that respect into your relationship with your husband. This will have a positive effect not only on yourself, but also on your children, because they feel how mom treats dad, and they are happy when love and respect reign in the family.
5. Do not be ashamed to be weak and defenseless, which, in fact, you are. Show your husband that you need him, his wise advice and care.

It must always be remembered that a man and a woman are endowed with different natures, and each of them has its own value. So whoever wants to build happy family, must follow its purpose and follow certain rules in relationships. A man wants to feel like a man, be a leader in the family and have an obedient, kind and gentle wife. And a woman wants to be close to a strong and reliable man, feeling his care, attention and support.

A happy family is a single whole, where husband and wife do not compete, but complement each other. And if a married woman remembers that she is “behind her husband”, and not ahead of him, then there will be no need to remind anyone who is the boss in the house.
____________________________________________

1 meaning of verse 34 of Surah An-Nisa
2 women do not perform Namaz and do not fast during menstruation and postpartum discharge

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Muslim names for boys and girls

The problem of the name of the naming is relevant to this day. With this problem, of course, each of us faced at the time of the birth of a child. We painstakingly sort through dozens of names before settling on one of the options. You always want to find something beautiful, not contrary to traditions and religion, but at the same time simple, easy to pronounce. The euphony of the name plays by no means the last role in social society. There are cases when parents, under the influence of personal emotions and ideological ideas, called their children names that did not correspond to the moral and ethical principles in Muslim society. For example, during the all-Union building of communism in some Turkic peoples, children were given the name "Lenur" - Lenin Nury (Lenin's Light), "Marlene" - Marx and Lenin and other political names. It should also be noted the problem of the disappearance from the language of such letters as "ه" - h and "ح" - X. For example, Asan, Usein, Usnie. These are the names generally accepted in the Muslim world as the same root words “ X asan "-" " X usin" - " X yusniyay”, from Arabic - refined, graceful, good. The reason for the disappearance of the mentioned letters in the language of the Turkic peoples is the substitution of the Arabic script for Latin or Cyrillic.

Some Turkic peoples to this day preserve an interesting tradition of naming a weakened newborn by the name Tursun or Yashar, Omyur. In particular, Azerbaijanis call Dursun or assign the name of the father and mother. No one will deny the fact that the name is a kind of carrier of any information. A Muslim name can carry the memory of the family of the Prophets and their loved ones, peace be upon them. To testify to the obedience and faith of a Muslim in the existence of the One Allah, as well as on the Day of Judgment. This is noticeable in the example of names based on: ‘abd (‘ibad), safe and nur. Variants of the Arabic term "'Abd" are interpreted as: slave. A safe is like: a sword, and nur is a beam, light. Pay attention to the following names: ‘Abdullah, ‘Abdura X man, ‘Abdul to adir, ‘Abdussaamad, Seyfuddin, Nureddin and others.

It must be said that not only the newlyweds, but also their parents, grandparents take part in the process of naming a child. In most cases, the young, as a sign of respect and gratitude, leave the last word to the elders. This is actually the mentality of the Crimean Tatar people.

In the traditions of some Muslim Turks, there is a special approach to names, the wife often addresses her husband without mentioning his name. For example, an Uzbek woman calls her husband “khodzhaiyn” (but the etymology of the Russian word “master”), otasy is the father of children. In Crimean Tatar houses, and especially families with a great past, they address each other as: akai, apai or kishi, apakai, avrat, etc. The word "awrat" is applied to women because they have body parts that they must cover in front of other men. (Whole body except face and hands).

Returning directly to our topic, it is enough to recall our compatriots who have double names. For example: Kurt-Sabe. Kurt-Ali, Kurt-Asan, Kurt-Osman, Seit-Asan, Seit-Bekir, Seit-Belyal, Seit-Veli, Mambet-Ali. Let us recall the forms of names in the pre-war Crimea, these are the names of famous classics of the Crimean Tatar literature: Hasan Sabri, Hussein Shamil, Umer Fekhmi and others. Sometimes among readers there are those who confuse their second non-official names with surnames. For, as we know, in the surnames of Turkic origin there are no typical endings for the Slavic peoples such as: ov / ova, ev / eva. Currently, some Crimean Tatar cultural figures, in order to emphasize patriotism, deliberately cut off such endings from personal surnames. For example, Shakir Selim (s), Shevket Ramazan (s), Ayder Memet (s), Fetta Akim (s), Aishe Koki (eva), Sheryan Ali (ev). According to some reports, the aforementioned paired names were assigned to children in order to avoid misunderstandings between fellow villagers with the same names. Perhaps there are other motives as well. At the moment, this issue remains little studied. Along with the names, there are also various pseudonyms, nicknames. If usually creative people or less often politicians, along with a real personal name, also attribute a pseudonym to themselves, then nicknames are assigned to a certain person directly by the people around him.

With the intention of recalling old traditional muslim names we start publishing the most frequently used names. The reference book of Turkic names, Arabic-Russian, Ottoman-Turkish and other dictionaries are taken as the basis of the article.

Male and female names starting with letters - A

‘Abdullah is a servant of God.
‘Abid, (‘Abide) — a worshiping, praying, believing slave.
‘Adalet – justice, justice.
‘Adil, (‘Adile) - fair. Male and Male and female name female name.
‘Azamat - greatness, magnificence.
‘Aziz, (‘Azize) — respected, revered, beloved. Male and female name
‘Azeem - determined, resolute
‘Ali is the name of the cousin of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him (‘Alie is a female name)
‘Alim (‘Alime) — wise, learned, noble. Male and female name
‘Arif - noble, intelligent
‘Abdulgaffar - Slave of Allah, Forgiving sins
Adem - Adam, the name of the first man created by Allah, the first Prophet, peace be upon him
Alemdar - standard bearer
Amin - reliable, truthful Male name and female name
Amina - the name of the mother of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him
Amir (Emir) - ruling, giving orders
Arzu - 1. Beloved of Kamber - the hero of the well-known fairy tale "Arzu ve Kamber". 2. from Persian, desire, dream
Asiya (Asie) - that was the name of the Pharaoh's wife. A pious woman from the followers of the Prophet Musa, peace be upon him
Ahmad is one of the names of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.

Male and female names starting with letters - B

Basyr - insightful, insightful, far-sighted
Batal - brave, brave, hero
Batyr - hero
Bakhtiyar - from Persian. Happy

Male and female names starting with letters - V

Vildan (from Ar. words brought down, commanded, evlyad) - newborn children; slaves

Male and female names with letters - G

Gevher (Jauhar) - gem, pure, true, genuine
Guzul (Guzal, Gezul) - from the Turks, beautiful, good. Woman's name

Male and female names starting with letters - D

Dilyaver - from pers. courageous, daring, courageous
Dilara - from Persian poet. gorgeous; sweet, beautiful, soothing heart

Male and female names starting with letters Z

Zahid (Zahida) - leading an ascetic way of life. Male and female name
Zaire (Zaire) - visiting, visiting. Male and female name
Zainab (Zeyneb) - the name of the daughter of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him
Zakir (from Zikr) - mentioning the Name of God Almighty
Zarifa (Zarifa) - gentle, refined. Male and female name
Zafer - reaching the goal; victorious, winner
Zahra - flower
Zuhra is one of the names of the daughter of the Prophet, peace be upon him, Fatima
Zeki (Zekie) - pure, without impurities, natural, genuine. Male and female name
Zeki - smart, smart
Zulfiya - the one with very beautiful, lush hair

Male and female names in letters - I

Ibrahim is the name of the Prophet, peace be upon him, the father of the Prophet Ismail, peace be upon him.
Idris is the name of one of the Prophets, Peace be upon them.
Izzet - greatness, reverence.
Ilham (Ilhamie) - inspiration. Male and female them.
Ilyas is the name of one of the Prophets, peace be upon them.
Imdad - help; force sent to help
Iman is faith. Woman's name.
‘Inat - mercy, guardianship, care.
Irfan - knowledge. Male name.
‘Isa is the name of one of the Prophets, peace be upon them, son of Maryam, peace be upon her. Allah sent him Injil.
Islam is the name of the religion of all the Prophets, peace be upon them, from Ar. means obedience to the One God
Isma'il is the name of one of the Prophets, peace be upon them. The first son of the Prophet Ibrahim, peace be upon him, from the hajer Ismet - purity, security.
Irada (Irada) - will.

Male and female names starting with letters - K

Kamal (Kemal) - perfection.
Kerem - nobility; generosity.
Kerim (Kerime) - generous, noble. Male and female name.
Kausar (Kevser) - 108 sura from the Kor'an is the name of a paradise source.
Kamil (Kyamila) - perfect, impeccable. Male and female name.
Kader (Kadire) - powerful, strong. Male and female name

Male and female names starting with letters - L

Latife - tender, soft. Woman's name.
Lutfi (Lutfie) - amiable, sweet. Male and female name.
Lale - tulip.

Male and female names starting with letters - M

Mahbub (Mahbubeh) - beloved, beloved. Male and female name.
Mavlyud (Mavlyuda) - born. Male and female name.
Madina is the city in which the tomb of the Prophet Muhammad, Peace be upon him, is located.
Maryam (Meryem) is the mother of the prophet ‘Isa. peace be upon him
Madiha - praising.
Mecca - The place where the Prophet Muhammad was born, Peace be upon him and the location of the Ka'ba.

Male and female names starting with letters - H

Nadir (Nadire) - rare.
Nazim (Nazmiye) - composing.
Nazif (Nazife) - clean.
Nail (Nail) - reaching the goal.
Nafise - very valuable; beautiful.
Nedim (Nedime) - interlocutor, friend.
Nimet - good, gift.
Nureddin is the light of faith.

Male and female names starting with letters - P

Ragib (Ragibe) - wishing.
Rajab (Rejeb) is the seventh month of the lunar calendar.
Raif (Raife) kind-hearted.
Ramadan (Ramadan) is the month of fasting.
Rasim is an artist who paints.
Refat - compassionate, kind.

Male and female names starting with letters - C

Saadet is happiness.
Sabit is firm and stable.
Sabir - patient, trying on.
Sadriddin - with faith in the heart.
Said (Saide) - happy, lucky.
Sakin (Sakine) at rest.
Salih (Saliha) - pious.
Safvet - pure, clear.
Safiye - pure, without impurities.
Selim (Selime) - no flaws.
Selyamet - well-being, security.
Sefer is a journey.
Subhi (Subhi) morning.
Suleiman is the name of the Prophet, peace be upon him.
Sultan (Sultaniye) - ruler.

Male and female names starting with letters - T

Tahir (Tahire) pure, noble.
Talib - aspiring; student.
Tevfik - luck, lucky.

Male and female names in letters - U

Ulvi (Ulviye) - hill.
‘Ubaydullah is the servant of the Almighty.
Ummet is a community.

Male and female names starting with letters - F

Fazil (Fazile) - noble.
Faik (Faik'a) - excellent.
Faruk - fair.
Fatima (Fatma) is the name of the first daughter of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.

Male and female names starting with letters - X

Khalil devotee (friend, comrade).
Halim (Halime) - soft, kind.
Khalis (Khalise) - pure, without impurity.
Khabib (Khabibe) - favorite.
Khadija is the name of the first wife of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.
Haydar is a lion, that is, brave and bold.
Khaireddin - good from faith.
Hairi - happy, lucky.
Hakim (Hakim) - wise.
Khalil - devotee, friend, comrade.
Halim (Halime) - soft, kind.
Khalis (Khalise) - pure without impurities.
Hasan - graceful, good. The name of the grandson of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.
Hikmet is wisdom.
Husseini - good, graceful. The name of the grandson of the prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him.
Khusniy (Khusniye) - graceful, beautiful.

Male and female names in letters - Ш

Shaaban is the eighth month of the lunar calendar.
Shemsednn - with bright faith.
Shakir (Shakire) - noble.
Shevket - majestic, important.
Shemseddin - with bright faith.
Shemsi (Shemsiye) - sunny, radiant.
The sheriff is honorary.
Shefik (Shefiqa) - kind, sincere.
Shukri (Shukriye) - giving thanks.

Male and female names starting with letters - E

Edib (Edibe) - well-bred.
Edie (hedie) - a gift.
Ekrem is very generous, hospitable.
Elmaz is a precious stone, a diamond.
Emin (Emine) - honest.
Enver - very radiant, bright.
Enis (Enise) is a very good interlocutor.
Esma is very generous, hospitable.
Eyub is the name of the Prophet, peace be upon him.

Male and female names starting with letters - Yu

Yunus is the name of the Prophet, peace be upon him.
Yusuf is the name of the prophet, peace be upon him.

Male and female names in letters - I

Ya'qub is the name of the prophet, peace be upon him.

It is quite difficult to find a person who does not dream of a happy family life next to someone who will love, understand, respect, appreciate, tolerate, care for, support, behave with dignity, educate children competently, treat parents well and so on. But few people think that all these wonderful qualities are the branches of a tree whose roots are God-fearing.

Nowadays, people often choose a life partner according to external data, status and position in society, hoping that other positive qualities will appear over time. They hope that in the future it will be possible to instill in a life partner a love of knowledge and observance. Of course, this is not excluded, but our religion strongly recommends choosing a life partner precisely out of God-fearing.

A woman should be especially careful when choosing a husband, because it is often beyond her power to correct an adult man. But even a man should not be hopeful: although it is easier for a husband to influence his wife, not every woman is easy to change.

When people get married, they don’t always think about the fact that they have to go through a long life together, raise children, go through trials and difficulties, but think only about whether it’s nice to spend time with this person. Therefore, it is not surprising that their hopes for a happy family life are often not justified.

How to avoid disappointment? The answer to this question has long been known - choose the God-fearing. He is the most reliable life partner. The love of such a person will make you happy, but even if there are no such vivid feelings, he will still always be fair to you. You don’t expect a dirty trick from this, he will lend a shoulder in difficult times, he will be kind and patient, he will direct him in the right direction and he will do the right thing - as Sharia orders. The God-fearing loves for the sake of Allah, and not for the sake of his nafs, like most people: while feelings are seething, they are ready to endure and give in, and when feelings pass, relations between spouses also deteriorate.

However, a truly happy married couple is one in which both spouses are God-fearing. Therefore, not only look for a godly partner in life, but also strive to be such. After all, the ideal couples are those who lead each other on the path to Paradise.

The fruits of the union of God-fearing spouses are beautiful - this is not only a good relationship, but also a pious offspring. There have been many examples in history when two God-fearing people raised such children who illuminated the whole world with their knowledge.

Parents of the great Imam Abu Hanifa

One day a traveler was walking along the road. He was very hungry. And suddenly he saw an apple floating on the river. He took out this apple and ate it, but then he thought: “What if it was from someone’s garden?” Then he decided to go upstream and see if there was a garden there. Walking a little, he saw an apple tree that grew in someone else's garden.

The young man was very God-fearing. He was upset that he had eaten someone else's apple, and decided to ask for forgiveness from the owner. He went to him, told him about the apple, and asked the owner of the orchard, "Will you forgive me?" He answered: “No,” and the young man was even more upset. He imagined the punishment in hell for eating illicit food and decided not to leave until he was forgiven. When the owner left the house, the young man asked again: “Will you forgive me?” The owner of the garden, seeing his piety, said: “I will forgive you only if you marry my daughter. But know that she does not see, does not speak and does not walk. Hearing this, the traveler was frightened, but the fear of the answer on the Day of Judgment was stronger than the fear of trials in this life, and he agreed.

They entered the house. The owner led him to his daughter's room. Came out to meet them very beautiful girl and greeted her father and guest. It was the owner's daughter.

From surprise and surprise, the traveler almost lost the power of speech. “But you said that your daughter does not see, does not speak, and does not walk!” he exclaimed. “That's right,” the father replied, “My daughter does not see what is forbidden, does not say what is forbidden, and does not go where it is forbidden!” (that is, she was also very God-fearing). Allah granted that in this way a God-fearing father would find a God-fearing husband for his God-fearing daughter. This is how the parents of the great Imam Abu Hanifa, one of the most famous theologians in the world, met.

Parents of the pious ‘Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak

‘Abdullah ibn Al-Mubarak is a great scholar and Sufi. He was sincere and brave. Here is the story of how his parents met.

His mother's father had a garden. One day he asked a man who kept his garden, "Bring me a sweet pomegranate." The watchman went for a pomegranate and gave it to the owner. When the owner tried the pomegranate, he said: “What did you bring me?! He's sour! Bring sweet." Then the watchman went again and brought him another pomegranate. The owner, having tasted the fruit, was again indignant: “Why did you bring me sour pomegranate again ?! You work for me for a whole year and you don’t know which ones are sweet?!” To which the watchman replied: “You hired me to guard the garden, and not so that I would taste its fruits. How can I know which one is sweet and which one is sour?!” The owner of the garden was very surprised by the honesty and decency of the watchman and invited him to marry his daughter.

Parents of the fifth Caliph Umar ibn ‘Abdul-‘Aziz

‘Umar ibn ‘Abdul-‘Aziz is the fifth righteous caliph and the grandson of the second righteous caliph ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab. He was a just ruler, possessed the deepest knowledge and was very ascetic. Perhaps his upbringing contributed to all his achievements, since he had pious parents. Here is the story of how they met.

His grandfather, Caliph ‘Umar ibn Al-Khattab, was a great companion of the Prophet and ruler of the Muslims. But despite this, he went out into the city at night to find out how they live. simple people. And once during the next round, he heard a conversation between two women. The milk seller told her daughter: “Dilute the milk with water,” to which she replied: “But the caliph forbade this!” The mother told her, "But he can't see us now." Then the daughter replied: “If Umar does not see, then the Lord of Umar sees everything!”

Returning home, ‘Umar said to his sons: “I know a house where a God-fearing and decent girl lives - let one of you marry her.” And 'Asym ibn 'Umar married her. And when their son was born, they gave him the same name as his grandfather.

How to grow a PERSONALITY out of a child

From birth, a child develops and is imbued with the beliefs and attitudes that parents and the environment put into him. In childhood, his character, habits, worldview are formed - all this forms the foundation that underlies his personality. That is why it is so important in childhood to lay in the child the right beliefs and principles that will help him become successful and happy.

The first thing that parents are obliged to take care of is to give the child true beliefs about the Creator and the world that He created, about good and evil, about the commands and prohibitions of Allah, about Heaven and hell, about reward and punishment. This is the most valuable and important knowledge, without which true happiness is impossible. In addition, parents are obliged to teach the child to perform Namaz, observe Fasting and other duties, because they do not want him to commit sins in the future. This is the foundation without which success is impossible.

In addition, it is important to develop in the child those qualities and skills that will help him in the best way live this life and achieve a high degree of piety for eternal happiness in the Other World.

PURPOSE

It is important for a child to learn to set goals and achieve them.

Nowadays, children often do not understand the meaning of life, do not find their place in this world, many of them prefer to live in "virtual reality". And as a result, their real life is wasted.

Explain to the child that life is not given in vain, and there is responsibility for how he will live it. And also explain that life in this world is temporary, and after it there will be eternal life: in Paradise or in hell. Heaven will have eternal happiness, and Hell will have eternal suffering. Therefore, the main goal is to live life in such a way as to get to Paradise!

How to achieve this, we were told by the Prophets - special people sent by God. The most important thing is faith in God, who created this whole world, and Himself is not like his creations. And whoever lives as God commanded, he will achieve success.

On the way to the main goal, it is important to learn how to set small goals that will help in achieving it. For each goal, you need to define objectives and develop a plan to achieve it. Therefore, your task, as parents, is to teach your child these skills. A person who has these skills lives meaningfully, and does not go with the flow of life. This is the kind of person that is.

Prepare your child for the fact that there are always obstacles on the way to success, otherwise everyone would be successful. Difficulties await him, but let this not stop him - he must learn to overcome them and benefit from the experience that he receives. Develop in him those qualities that will help in achieving the goal: perseverance, diligence, willpower and responsibility.

A RESPONSIBILITY

One day the child said to his father: "Our new teacher Mathematics does not know how to explain, with him I will not learn anything. The father replied: “Understand, son, if you want to know mathematics, then this is your task, not your teacher. What have you done to resolve this issue? That is, the father did not allow his son to shift responsibility to others. He wanted to show him that there are two types of people: those who take responsibility for their lives and succeed, and those who simply look for someone to blame for their failures.

The ability to take responsibility opens a wide perspective for a person. Without a willingness to take responsibility, it is impossible to achieve real success! Is it possible for someone who hides from problems, avoids difficulties, is not able to make a decision and shifts everything to others to achieve success?!

Often the parents themselves are to blame for the fact that their children grow up just like that: infantile, lazy and irresponsible. After all, they decide everything for the child, do not allow him to take the initiative, literally tear the work out of the hands of the child, believing that he will not be able to cope on his own.

Help your child not be afraid to take responsibility for their actions. Even if at first he does something not perfectly, do not stop him. Teach him to make commitments and fulfill them, as well as to be responsible for possible failures. Start small - let him take responsibility, for example, for the order in his room, saying to himself: "I am responsible for the cleanliness in this room" and keeps his promise.

It is natural for parents to want to help their children. But true help lies not in solving all the problems for them, but in teaching them how to solve their own problems.

One person, walking through the park, noticed a cocoon on a bush, from which a butterfly was trying to get out. There was a narrow gap in the cocoon, and the butterfly did its best to crawl out through it. The man stopped and began to observe the butterfly, which did not manage to get out. He felt sorry for the butterfly - he took out a knife and cut the cocoon to help her. The butterfly immediately got out, however, its body was weak and weak, and its wings could hardly move. The man continued to watch the butterfly, thinking that its wings would get stronger and it would fly, but this did not happen. After all, it is precisely the efforts of a butterfly that are needed to get out of the cocoon that strengthen its wings and give it the ability to fly!

Do not try to make life easier for your child by solving all the problems for him. The sooner he learns to be responsible for himself and his actions, the better for him! After all, in the end everyone will have a great Report! What will be the position of the one who avoided responsibility all his life?!

If you teach your child to set goals, take responsibility, overcome obstacles, show diligence, work hard, work on themselves and achieve results, he will become strong, will not be afraid of life's difficulties and will be able to achieve real success.

Who is in charge in the house?
How to allocate the budget?
Who is responsible for what?
Who has the final decision?...

And if for spouses who have lived for some time these questions are not so relevant, then young married couples are asked by them quite often. It happens that the stereotypes established by the family and society interfere with an agreement ...

So let's talk today about how a young family can agree on "principality"? What of the experience of ancestors is really worth taking into account, and what has long lost its value?

The roles of men and women in relationships and families are blurred - this is largely the cause of conflicts and divorces.

On the one hand, the young couple has no experience of marriage and is trying to bring the example that they have into their new family. Namely, the experience of the parental family. It seems to everyone that this is exactly how it is right, this is how it is necessary, because this is more familiar.

In essence, the conflict of young spouses is a conflict of ways of interaction established in parental families. Often, parents are also actively involved in this conflict, "controlling" the implementation of these rules.

Here, the solution for young spouses can only be a dialogue, a search for a compromise, what experience to take and what not to take into their married life. And, perhaps, with the use of a third party - a family psychologist, because, being inside such a situation, it is often impossible to see the true cause of the conflict: "but it was like that in my family."

On the other hand, the question of "who is in charge" is also strongly influenced by modern society itself.

The role position of the man is weakened. A man in most cases is brought up in such a way that he becomes "weaker than himself." He does not have enough personal resources to fully fulfill the role of "head of the family", there is some infantilism, an inability to make decisions and bear full responsibility, to financially provide for the family at the required level.

The role position of the woman is strengthened. Girls are often brought up with the mindset - "if you can do it yourself, you can support your family and children, don't rely on your husband." In this sense, a woman becomes "stronger than herself."

Unconsciously begins to claim the main role in the family. There is no respect for the spouse and recognition of his masculine qualities. The male ego of the spouse is suppressed. Of course, a woman is "not comfortable" in this role - female nature is emotional, accepting, desiring protection.

In this case, both sides suffer - both the man and the woman. This gives rise to internal and external conflicts in an attempt to prove not so much "who is in charge", but who is able to correctly perform his role.

The solution here can be mutual support and assistance in mastering their roles, the development of harmonious relationships. Relationships in which the man (husband) is responsible for material well-being family, making important decisions, family safety in the outside world; a woman is responsible for creating an emotional atmosphere in which a man is able to develop these qualities, in which happy children grow up.

This is a rather complex issue that requires recognition of the situation, understanding, mutual desire to develop relations and, possibly, professional assistance.

I agree that the topic is always relevant and controversial.

In my opinion, a young couple should:

2. After that, it is worth expressing your attitude to the parental model - I would like the functions to be distributed in the same way in my family.

3. After such a discussion of each parental example, take what is valuable for the new family - what is accepted by both partners - and create your own model for the distribution of importance and control.

At the same time, it is very important that young people understand that such roles, family functions are built gradually, so if some option does not work or works partially, it will be possible to sit down again to discuss and find possible options changes!

AT modern world the position "the head of the house is a man" is no longer considered relevant.

There are women who are many times stronger, more successful, earn many times more, so they are considered heads. But this does not happen in all families, but only where a strong woman dominates.

Why am I suggesting this? Because the clarity of the goal will allow you to put everything in its place and calmly and comfortably distribute your roles in the family.

If behind this is the definition of a person who will have the last word, decide, then this is in order to determine who has the last word in some important situations.

If it's a matter of emotional self-assertion, it's a matter of emotional self-assertion.

Just call everything by its proper name. To some, this may seem like an oversimplification, but, in my opinion, it frees up living space for experiencing a greater number of various events, that is, it frees up time, space for this, which makes life wider, deeper, more colorful and interesting.

And if for spouses who have lived for some time these questions are not so relevant, then young married couples are asked by them quite often. It happens that the stereotypes established by the family and society interfere with an agreement ...

Yes, more often this is a problem of young couples precisely because they still do not know THESELF very well, and therefore they are guided by someone else's opinions and stereotypes. In a sense, this is a natural process, and often in such conflicts they still recognize themselves and begin to understand what they really can and would like in a family, in what they reveal their best sides and are really effective, and in what - it is better to delegate to a partner. Well, someone has been fighting for power all his life and does not see another option for existence.

What of the experience of ancestors is really worth taking into account, and what has long lost its value?

For some reason, it is customary to think that the experience of ancestors is some kind of linear, unambiguous - all families were the same, were there the same rules around? This is not true. Even if it was customary to create the appearance that the man is the head of the family, there were always many families where, in fact, a woman ruled everything, and in public they unanimously made the right appearance. And this expressed their personal balance between social patterns and their own experience. And it was not necessarily realized. But in fact, people within their family often differed from what they showed to the rest.

First of all, a person needs his own experience, and the experience of ancestors can only serve as a starting point, a model, seeing which you can feel - "mine" or "not mine"? And you still have to live YOUR life, and not your ancestors. And if, for example, your character, psychotype, temperament, worldview, values ​​allow you to be realized only in a certain role in the family - whatever the experience of your ancestors - you will not be able to be happy in someone else's role. No matter how correct it may seem to someone.

Who is in charge in the house?

Someone who is more willing to take responsibility for decisions and their consequences. Both are responsible for the family as a whole, but "principality" often determines precisely this - the ability, taking into account all the arguments - both one's own and the partner's - to say in the end - "let's do it this way." And to be ready to deal with any consequences of decisions, to take a leading role in this, and not a supporting one.

But this can only be an agreement between both partners. And the role of leader should be claimed by someone who really has stronger nerves, more endurance, more self-confidence, a calm attitude to mistakes, optimism that allows you not to fall into despair in case of failures. And gender in this case is secondary, the character and readiness of a person to occupy this particular role and feel its consonance with his nature is important.

How to allocate the budget?

According to needs and their hierarchy. There are general expenses that must be agreed upon, there are personal expenses that should be discussed with a partner. But I think that whoever is the main source of income (even if it is one person), then both partners, nevertheless, have an equal right to participate in the formation of "budgetary policy." The leader in the family, of course, will have more influence on this process, but I think he has no right not to take into account the wishes of the partner if we are talking about a partner family where there is a relationship, and not just a contract for the performance of certain functions.

Who is responsible for what?

According to the agreements. And do it better, based on the abilities of each. If one has an idiosyncrasy for pieces of paper, counting money, talking to authorities or going shopping, and the other has no problems with this, then what are the questions? If a man is good at cooking, and a woman is good with technology - why not? A woman wants to be responsible for the household herself, she likes to do it, and a man wants to be responsible for the finances in the family and he likes his work - also great. Etc. Then there will be no problems, because it is always easier to answer for what makes you happy, for what you can do, or at least for what does not cause strong rejection and it is not difficult to do this for the family. If, however, a certain function is "glued" to a person, even if it is "correct" in someone's eyes, but not characteristic of him, this will cause nothing but irresponsibility, alas.

Who has the last decision?

For those who are ready to carry this burden with all its consequences. Because you can’t, having said the last word, then try to complete the task with someone else’s hands or shift responsibility for the consequences onto someone. And if such a decision on the distribution of roles in the family was made consciously, then there will be neither an evasion of responsibility on the part of the leader, nor criticism on the part of a more driven partner. Everyone knew what and why he was going, and everyone is aware of the importance of the partner function in all this.

But for this, you really need a deep knowledge of yourself, an understanding of what you are really capable of, what kind of character you have, and what kind of partner you need in this regard.

In short, it's like this:

Tango is danced together. If there is “consent” in the family (respect and desire to understand), then there is always the opportunity to solve problems, and not “sort things out” and assert oneself at the expense of another.

And then it doesn’t matter who leads in making a decision, and who follows the one who makes it. Because the decision is made in the interests of both spouses.

It is already too late for a young couple to agree on who is in charge in it. The main one is already there. And it's important to realize this. Even if they agree on a certain hierarchy in the family, the "main" will allow this to be played. There is always a leader in any couple and in any family. The challenge is to understand.

The question "who will be on top?" has always stirred people's minds. However, they begin to seriously engage in it only when someone stops liking to be constantly downstairs. And until that moment, they try to enjoy the relationship / endure / mind their own business. It happens in every context, in my opinion. And there, you see, a crisis happens, and then this acute question already arises.

Therefore, for spouses who have lived together for some time, this issue may suddenly turn out to be even more relevant than for newly united ones.

The solutions are fairly well known: a coup, a referendum, or a phased reform process. The consequences in each case will be different, so everyone is free to choose according to their taste. Unfortunately, in Western civilization (which, in my opinion, we also belong to) there are no traditions left on this topic. Therefore, on the topic of headship in families and in other groups, confusion and vacillation reigns - both in the process of resolving the issue and as a result. Which is good, in my opinion! I am for diversity, individual approach and creativity. Therefore, I propose to be aware, invent, discuss and experiment.

The question of power in the family is a question who has the last word and who is responsible for the consequences. The most paradoxical option is when the final decisions are made by one, and the other is to blame for all the troubles. This family model can hardly bring happiness.

And what can? Equality? It is often possible, in response to the question, who is the boss in your family, to hear the answer that we are all in charge (as an option, we make all decisions together). If the way it sounds and the way it actually happens are the same, then this is another sad version of how you can be unhappy together. Now let me explain with an example.

Conflicts can be avoided if both partners reasonably approach this issue. It is better for a woman not to undermine the authority of a man, not to put pressure on him and not to tell him what and how he should do. Instead, you need to justify your opinion and lead the man to make a decision that is suitable for both. It is better for a man to concentrate not on the one who proposed the solution, but on best result. Then there is no need to appoint one of the spouses as the main one and fight for leadership. Both should make decisions and be responsible for them.

Who is in charge in the house is always a matter of agreement between marriage partners, the question of their mutual respect and personal priorities. If a woman likes to lead, and she does it well, and a man has enough self-affirmation in society, so at home he agrees to be compliant and led - then why not? Following traditional roles is not always helpful, because it sometimes imposes roles on spouses that are unusual for them.

Someone follows the traditional distribution of roles: the husband is the head, the wife is the neck. For some, the opposite is true - the wife is the sovereign and the housekeeper, others build relationships on an equal footing. The main thing is that it suits both spouses and makes them happy.

Why do we need a distribution of roles? The fact is that the strength and stability of the family in the future will depend on the coincidence of the role expectations of the spouses and the role behavior of each. To prevent the development of conflicts, the spouses themselves must agree or determine by default who manages different areas of family life: who will be responsible for the material support of the family, who will take on the role of the owner / hostess, who is responsible for maintaining relations with relatives, and who is the organizer of the family subcultures, and who will organize the entertainment. And also who will better cope with the role of a family psychotherapist, who will be responsible for caring for a sick, elderly family member or small children, who is the educator, and also which of the spouses is the initiator of the manifestation of activity in love relationships, that is, a love partner. In general, a husband may be a leader in some respects and a wife in others.

The criterion for dividing household chores should be expediency. If a husband works more than his wife, then he can spend less energy on household chores, and vice versa.

The primary responsibility for the general welfare of the family lies with the man, because the woman is more attached to the care of the children and the home. But the one who manages it better manages the family cash desk. Often one of the spouses is excellent at making money, and the second perfectly distributes their entire total income, plans and records expenses, he rationally uses the funds, his strong point is the organization of proper and economical nutrition, home improvement, reasonable use of household items, clothing, shoes, etc.

The theme of the family way of life does not lend itself to correlation with any universal model. Everything here is not so much individual (no one argues with this - individually!), but how much regional, I would say. The roles of a husband somewhere in London and in Astana (where I come from) are fundamentally different. Here, undoubtedly, the key point is the mentality of the region where the family lives.

Another point is globalization, which is trying to impose its visions on us, and which we have to reckon with. And what do we get as a result? A classic example from the life of a young Kazakh family: HE - works, SHE - a young mother sitting at home. Mutual claims to each other begin when SHE demands that HE help her with the household and the child. Whereas HE believes that HE is a breadwinner, in fact, and does not wash dishes male occupation. And SHE, under the influence of the heroines of Hollywood masterpieces of cinematography, insists on self-realization in a career and sharing household obligations. And then there is the mother-in-law - a lover of gathering all the relatives known to her as a guest, requires the participation of her daughter-in-law in organizing the holiday: first set the table, then remove it all. So it turns out porridge-malash, like Lenin's: the tops do not want, and the bottoms cannot live in the old way.

What to do then?

It's very simple - to build your own role model of the family. But in our case - to build it, taking into account the mentality and its acceptability.

On the other hand, I have neighbors, well, just the ideal distribution of family roles: he works, earns money, and she quietly and peacefully brings up three children, and everyone is happy! For this family, the classic model is reality.

So it turns out: what for one myth, then for another reality.

It seems to me that many myths have been created in relation to the family, which society diligently supports. And those couples who try to live the way their parents accepted, or according to social stereotypes, often fall into the trap of living someone else's life. In this case, they say: "That's the way it is." Who started? What for? Is it suitable for a particular couple?

If in the parental family the vow of silence was the golden rule, because it is indecent, unacceptable to express one's opinion, then the habit of being silent can pass into a new family. And then each of the young spouses acts on a whim, as they have to. And the family boat sails at random, without a rudder and sails. In this case, misunderstanding, resentment and disappointment accumulate.

In fact, each family's story is unique. It is written by two people with different views, beliefs, characters, different baggage of life experience. And here the most important thing is to be able to negotiate, adjust, find a reasonable compromise. And then what's the difference who's in charge? Both spouses should be comfortable in the family. Otherwise, each other breaks down, because it’s supposed to be, the husband is obliged, the wife is obliged, my parents did it, etc. The main thing is that both sides are ready for dialogue.

The question of headship will not arise when the husband and wife are able to get along(lad - consent, peace, order colloquial) between themselves.

Lad(in plural frets or frets) — row design detail string instruments, which is a convex transverse strip on the fingerboard, which serves to change the tone of the sounding string. The name of the part is associated with the concept of fret as the most important harmonic characteristic in music .

As my long-term experience of working with families shows, the tone in addressing a partner decides everything, it really depends on the intonation of the spouses whether the family is okay or not.

If not debugged strings of relationships in the family, and there will be no harmony in it. Questions like: "Who is the boss in the house?" have long become a favorite topic for jokes and "bread" for satirists, as, indeed, the question of the distribution of family material resources.

I wrote about the budget of a young family in one of the round tables, so I will dwell on the next side of the topic under discussion.

The generation that was brought up by imperious fathers - this topic remains an urgent problem, and the value of psychotherapy in such cases is great.

Sometimes people think that relationship problems young age it is not worth considering deeply that these are the quirks of childhood and immaturity, nit-picking and difficulties that will come. It is a myth. It is worth going further, looking for your own unique path, looking into the past in order to change the future, working out what is missing for solidity, individuality, in order to come to an agreement.

Regardless of gender, none of the partners should take up so much space in a relationship, filling everything with themselves so as not to leave room for the other partner. Being around, you should not feel threatened, deceived or pressured by a partner. Such feelings may suggest hidden problems, the solution of which is very important to start immediately or plan in the very near future.

When there is a relaxed sense of trust, you can understand what the two of you are focusing on. What feelings are inclined to when one of you is sad and the other is in joy, and not just out of curiosity. Emotional attunement - a full opportunity to be in real circumstances, to make real decisions. Invest your whole self in the beginning of a business or event.

Without such a skill, the quality of life will be bitterly regretted. Therefore, so much attention is paid to messages from one's own emotions so that they do not remain an unresolved problem, stabbing fragments of a broken life.

From the pure source of attention begins the exploration of what to start doing, what to be better at, what to learn. Finding the undeveloped sides of the personality, there is always a choice: turn away from them, looking as if furtively (I'm in charge), or begin to understand things in a new way. Meet something new, especially if you feel that people like you are in the minority.

Fortunately, we come to an intuitive, and not only, understanding that changes require efforts, we need help. You need a good psychologist. To feel how the value of talking helps to move to another level in self-knowledge. And not to remain in the dark where skills to satisfy natural needs are a priori necessary. New reactions, and previously suffocating anger and despair about who is in charge, who is right, will gradually but forever go away. And this is a chance to live a long, interesting life.

When people start building relationships, sooner or later, the question arises: “Who is the head of the family?”. Some believe that the head family relations must be a man. Others argue that this is an overabundance of the past and a woman can also lead the family nest. Whose opinion is actually true? Now let's try to figure it out.

Is the man the head of everything?

Since ancient times, there has been an opinion that a man should be the master. This happened because he was the breadwinner, and the woman worked at home with the housework. She had no right to argue with her husband and had to do everything he said.

In today's world, it's not like that. A woman is able to provide for herself and be realized in life. If a man was brought up in a family as a head in his future life, then he will try to pull over the basics of government in a relationship. From this moment conflicts with the opposite sex begin. A man in this case should talk with his other half and distribute responsibilities.

How to understand who is in charge in the family: husband or wife?

Now it is rare to find a family in which there will be a specific main person. There are several criteria by which you can determine the championship. Here is some of them:

1. the influence of the second half on decision-making (the influence can be hidden, open, the use of the necessary levers for decision-making);
2. the last word is always with the head of the family (no matter what they say, the decision is made by the leader);
3. distribution of funds for necessary needs.

If you find yourself in these criteria, then you can call yourself a leader in relationships.

What are the ways to determine who is the head of the family?

On the Internet, on various resources, you can find different methods and ways to understand who is in charge. Let's look at some of them now.

There are arguments that if a man's mother was the head of a man's family, then he grows up as a weak-willed person and needs care and guardianship. If a woman’s father was the head of a woman’s family, then she gets used to obey and can hardly decide something herself.

Toes

First, take off your shoes and pay attention to your toes. If the second finger is longer than the first, then we can safely talk about the primacy in the family.

Help dog

If you have a common dog that obeys one of the spouses, then you can safely talk about leadership. This is because dogs are intelligent creatures and can sense many things. She, with the help of the smell of a person, determines who is in charge and obeys him.

There are also families in which both partners are the main ones. Often in such relationships conflicts are brewing. This happens because no one wants to give way to each other. Unfortunately, such families either break up or find a compromise. But still one will suppress the other. Therefore, such a family can rarely be called happy. The most important thing is to learn to make concessions to each other. If this happens, then the relationship can be saved and be happy people.

This article revealed the moments that are so important in our lives. Building relationships is hard work. After all, obstacles can wait at every turn. To easily overcome them, you need to be not only mentally strong, but also be a partner for your soulmate.

Photo: Tatiana Gladskikh/Rusmediabank.ru

Let's talk about family, priorities and barbarians. I will talk about my view on raising boys. And I'm sure a few will agree, but I hope that someone will think.

Correctly placed priorities are, societies, states. If the values ​​are adequate, then success is predictable. But a twist can ruin everything. And you should start looking for problems with your family. So, let's think - what are your priorities?

Majority opinion

Today, the center of the universe of most mothers is their children. As often as I communicate with young mothers, I catch in their words concern, anxiety for babies, but at the same time almost complete indifference to a man. Think about who is more important to you - a child or a husband? I do not force you to choose, you do not need to refuse anyone, just analyze - who occupies your thoughts more often?

And now the next experiment, after you answered the first question, and who is more important - you or the person you chose in the last paragraph?

The result will be different for everyone. But I most often observe such a picture: the most important is the child, the second most important person is the woman herself, and in last place is the man. Surprisingly, the child is often alone in the first place, even if there are several of them in the family. But with many children, the man is still lower than the rest.

Is it right or not? How should things really be? Let's figure it out.

Historical Features

Mankind has lived in peace for several million years. During this period, natural instincts and rules were formed that helped to survive. The family was formed a very long time ago, and its components were a man, a woman and kids. But family well-being in the era of ancient people directly depended on the defender. The man protected his cell from animals, other men, natural disasters. Of course, he also brought food, but the woman and children could collect something themselves in order to survive. But they could not fully protect themselves.

What were the families like? The main thing was the man himself. The woman understood that if she died, then who would take care of her children? And every person instinctively values ​​himself above others. The second place in the family hierarchy was occupied by a man. He must be healthy, strong, well-fed. Without it, the existence of the family was threatened, the likelihood of survival was very small. Well, then the children were already in the chain. High mortality, frequent births and many other factors reduced the value of babies. This does not mean that they were loved less. But there was a logic - if a child dies, you can give birth to another one. If a man dies, it is unlikely that all the other children and the woman with them will survive.

The example is rough, but clear. In addition to leaving, a man was also supposed to be respected, sometimes in excessive forms. The man was the head of the family, clan, society. But all this is in reality, when protection was needed. With serious threats, the woman obeyed, realizing that her life depended on the strength of the satellite and, in general, its presence. But times have changed...

When everything is there

An example of a changing situation is the Roman Empire before its fall. The vast empire extended over a large area. And as a result, there was no one to defend against. Society demanded "bread and circuses". But at the same time, everything was in abundance: there were no starving people in the holy city, and external enemies were too far away.

During this period, it was not the political system that changed, but the upbringing of the younger generation. If before that, mothers valued their husbands more, then when protection became less relevant, they began to love children more. What has changed? There was a much greater fear of losing them than a man. Decreased respect for the stronger sex.

Children brought up with excessive care were no longer so independent, not so strong. Their dependence on their mother increased. And the ladies did their best to protect them from pain, suffering, trials. Defenders were no longer needed, their value was falling, but managers, scientists, advisers were held in high esteem.

What happened next? Two or three generations without respect for protection led to the fact that each subsequent woman valued her children above a man and considered this the norm. With each generation, men became weaker. And then the barbarians came, and in a very short time swept the empire off the face of the earth. It just turned out that there was no one to protect her. Weak men could not defend their country.

Scary Conclusions

Let many disagree with me, but I am sure that in a family a man should be more important than children. Respect for him, for his interests, his needs should be higher than the desires of children. there must be many more than those born of him. The correct hierarchy will allow and educate the new generation in a new way.

Well, how can a worthy younger man grow up in a family where a man is not respected? Condemnation of the father or contempt for him will not help to create an ideal son by a bad example.

What kind of children grow up in families in which priorities are not correct? Pleasing ... The son tries to behave differently, not like the "bad" father. And this is no longer a sign of strength. - this is the one that has its own position, defends it. If he adapts, tries to always be good, fearing the "dislike" of his mother, can he become worthy?

Surprisingly, today's women are 100% sure that the child is more important than everyone else, and sometimes even themselves. This is not the first generation that thinks so, they were also raised this way. And they continue the tradition, creating men who know nothing about protection and strength.

And I even begin to think that history will soon repeat itself. Let's look at Europe. Are the men of these prosperous countries ready to fight back against the new barbarians? It seems to me that they do not know about protection, but let's hope that I'm wrong.