Where did the fear of not being liked by a worthy man come from and how can you get rid of it? I'm afraid that in reality we will not like each other. The higher you rise, the more ill-wishers.

Chameleon. Conformist. Compromiser.

I have always tried to please people.

My friend even once called me the most non-conflict person in the world. And I was. I backed down at the slightest sign of conflict. The first went to the world. He pleaded guilty without even being one.

But recently something happened that changed me.

I found out that the person with whom I had the warmest relationship hates me. And not only hates, but also spreads terrible rumors about me.

Here are some of the most striking - "masterpieces":

• I stole one thing from him that he lost (the cost of the thing is ~ 100 rubles)
• I scratched his car
• I secretly entered his apartment

As you already understood, the person is simply not himself. I understood this too, but it still came as a shock to me.

Lesson

But, really, you can make lemonade out of any lemon, as Dale Carnegie said.

This trouble kicked me out of my comfort zone, out of my blind belief that EVERYBODY can LIKE. I realized that sometimes, even if you are Mother Teresa herself, a person may not like you.

Well, that's IRRATIONAL dislike and that's it. Against all odds.

This new knowledge was of great benefit to me and even changed my life. For the better.

The higher you climb, the more ill-wishers

Is anyone going to argue with this?

By the will of fate, I now write a lot. No wonder I pay attention to popular authors and bloggers. The ones who made themselves. Self Made.

Take any popular blogger or writer. And find among them a conformist who does not “rock the boat” on anyone. Doesn't run. Doesn't criticize. And EVERYONE likes it.

People are tired of formulaic articles that read like a press release. Texts as if generated by a robot. Everyone wants to see a living person behind the articles, with their own opinion.

It is not surprising that this view may not be liked by some. Let them be only 2%. But out of 10,000 readers, this is already 200 people.

Let's take, for example, the most popular LJ blogger - Ilya Varlamov or the most popular author on LH -. Their posts always cause a sea of ​​comments and a storm of emotions.

But how much biased criticism, outright insults and even threats do they receive every day? This is a tribute to their popularity.

To be afraid of being disliked is to be afraid to speak your mind, to be afraid to talk about your ideas.

To be afraid of not being liked is to be afraid of growing.

I don't like it - what should I do?

OK, well, someone doesn't like me. But this does not mean that I will experience some kind of negativity towards this person.

If they write me a negative and even inadequate comment, my reaction is a polite “ignore”. I do not go to the conflict, I do not succumb to trolling. This is unproductive.

I say to myself: “Maybe he’s just drunk? Or was his dog hit by a car?

But you never know the reasons may be, which I can only guess. But I'm not going to guess. It’s easier for me to develop a stereotyped reaction - a polite “ignore”.

I kind of put an end to the sentence “This person doesn’t like me, but it’s not scary.” Everything. Dot. We must live on.

It's funny that such a polite attitude often ends up convincing the critic. In addition, it has a positive effect on your image in the eyes of other readers (colleagues, listeners, etc.). After all, what could be more disgusting than to see how the author quarrels in the comments?

How did this realization change my life?

First of all, I opened my face on the network.

I used to write my articles under a pseudonym and a stupid avatar.

Why did I hide myself? I was terribly uncomfortable even at the mere thought that my articles, my thoughts would be seen by everyone. My friends, my relatives, my colleagues. What if they don't like it? What if they think I'm an upstart? And sometimes I make mistakes, sometimes I write outright nonsense. How to deal with it?

The realization that it is impossible to please everyone solved this problem.

Now I write under my own name and surname. I don't hide my photos.

And you know, nothing bad happened. Solid pluses. People are more comfortable talking to a real person. My blog and my articles have only benefited from this.

Summarizing

Every day I see people who are simply driven crazy by the thought that someone might not like them. This is especially true, sorry, girls.

People cannot create, they cannot perform in front of an audience, they cannot meet the person they like. And all because of the fear of not being liked.

Now this is my self-criticism in the past. I solved this problem for myself. Well, I decide

Maybe my experience will help you get rid of excessive introspection.

Write in the comments!

Did you like this post? Not? Well, to hell with you!))

Hello. I communicate with a man on the Internet. We are happy with our correspondence. But I would like more: to meet and communicate really. I don't know how to encourage him to meet. And I'm afraid that in reality we will not like each other.
What to do, how to be?

Katerina, Irkutsk, 32 years old

Answer from an art psychologist:

Hello Katherine.

There is nothing fancy about this - if you want your relationship to be real and not virtual, suggest it. There is nothing to be ashamed of, you are not asking to marry him. The main thing is to submit it not straightforwardly: "Let's meet, I really want to", but in some flirtatious form with an obvious hint. For example, "that's when you and I will walk there together, I'll tell you about something" or "that's when I see it with my own eyes, then I'll comment." The main thing is to make such "proposals" about a meeting at ease, easily, not obligingly, but in such a way that it is obviously clear - you want this. Then your man will know for sure that you are interested in the meeting, but you don’t make a problem out of it, don’t ask, don’t pester, don’t make any claims. In this case, the whole thing will be up to him: he will like such a hint - he himself will gladly go to the meeting, and if personal acquaintance was not supposed for him, he is already fine, then you will not pull him out to the meeting by any means, and there are does it make sense in that case. If you don’t like each other, this is an everyday thing, this often happens with online dating, you probably assumed this when communicating with him virtually. I don’t know the intricacies of your communication, did you exchange at least a photo in order to understand what each other’s type, style, image ... If yes, then the probability of not being liked is significantly reduced, and if not, then this needs to be done - also unobtrusively . “Suddenly we find ourselves in the same place at the same time, but we don’t know each other, let’s exchange photos” - well, something like that. And one more thing: if your meeting is outlined, go to it with the feeling that nothing grandiose should be revealed to you, that you are going to meet a person you have known for a long time, close, understandable. Let it not be excitement, but curiosity (as if your friend had a new haircut, and you would go and be curious to see). Then the risk of disappointment in him, and the risk of not behaving as usual, not the way you are (to show off, to be shy) is also significantly reduced. Good luck to you!

Sincerely, Pugacheva Maria.

It often happens that girls post their photos of three years of slender age on social networks, and then they are afraid to appear in front of the person they met on the Internet.
So if you are already getting to know each other, show yourself as you are, otherwise you will worry about what to do and how to appear in front of your eyes.
But what to do if you showed your real photos, but you are still embarrassed to go to a meeting?!
Well, I would suggest working with psychologist over self-confidence, but for now we read what other girls will advise in such a situation. So, the situation itself and comments on it.

Girls, help advice. I met a guy on an Internet, we communicate on the phone, in social networks, I saw my photos, I saw him. I like it very much. I told him too (according to him). He wants a meeting, but I'm afraid, because I'm full. Everyone says that it suits me, and I know that I have a beautiful appearance, but because of the fullness I have a terribly complex. Although the photo shows that I'm far from thin, and he says that he likes my shape, but I'm still afraid. What to do?
I say right away: I'm not a virgin, I had boyfriends and a lot of male attention! First to lose weight, and then meet - also not an option! And you can have less bile, you girls! Oh, and also, I go to the gym, so leave advice like take care of yourself.

To be afraid of fullness is not to have a man. Go boldly! A lot of guys like full girls.

The guy is also with "forms"?

What do you think, some herrings can love? In fact, many guys like fat asses, get high on cellulite rolls.

Well, since he likes it, why be afraid? Meet!

So what's the problem? Go to the meeting, especially since he saw you in the photo! Do not be afraid!

To be honest, I don't see a problem. If he said that he likes everything, including not only your face, but also your figure and still wants to meet, then why be afraid?

You are a sweet girl, there is nothing to be afraid of.

Oh my God! May you live happily in any form! A smart man will not offend you for those extra pounds, and you don’t need a smart man! Be natural in behavior, and everything will work out! The sexuality of a woman is in her behavior, look, energy!

Don't be stupid! Of course we should meet! Even if you fail, you will be open to other relationships!

Well, since I saw the pictures, then why be afraid?

Cool girl! Do not be afraid! Less self-criticism and go!

Lace up your head and go on a date! Do not be scared! Just look at everything! Fuck your complexes. Let him accept you for who you are. Don't like it - fuck it! To lose weight or not, you decide, not the stereotypes imposed on society.

The same problems, as a result, we have been living with a guy for a long time, whom we also met, it’s already about the wedding. And before that, I met calmly, and the relationship was, everything is fine. Beautiful plump girls really like the guys!

Well, I've seen the pictures! Go! Then tell me what and how.

Lose weight fast in two weeks, lose as much as possible. Then he will meet, and yes, losing weight is very worth it.

Maybe there the guy in real life will not be handsome. Once I met like that, I could not move away from the shock for a long time. So meet up and you'll see.

Go on a date! No, no, you'll find another guy! Do you have a problem with excess weight far-fetched!

I screwed myself up, forget about the complexes. If you like it, go, then you will regret it if you don't meet.

Baby, do what you think.

You have a very interesting appearance, some people really look full. I'm not saying that you can not take care of yourself. But I like everything about you, very cool, really, so there’s nothing to even think about!

Do not worry! You're beautiful!

Oh, what are you going through, you will regret it if you don’t meet!

It is better to do and regret than not to do and regret even more. Your extra weight makes you beautiful!

I also don't understand what the issue is.

Do you go to the hall to sit in the buffet?

That is, you want support and words like "you are already beautiful", "love yourself" and so on? That's what I would write!

In general, before a date, you do not need to criticize yourself. You are very nice, I like it. You have sexuality and beats!

Go on a date, just don't eat it.

Just do not wear something very tight, be able to present yourself.

The same garbage, pissed off your happiness because of the complexes. Even if you don't like it, it's not destiny. The world did not converge on him like a wedge. The main thing is not to show the man that you are complex, and he will not notice your shortcomings! Be yourself - it's a win-win! Good luck! And henceforth, to feel confident - engage in self-improvement.

Everything will be known on the first date, so gas to the floor. Well, so for you: according to statistics on dating sites, 72% are one-night stands, 16% are married, 5% are perverts, 5% are trolls, and 2% are guys who are really into a serious relationship. Maybe he is included in these 2%, who does not take risks, he does not drink champagne.

There are perverts who are turned on by fat asses. So go ahead!

Be less complex about appearance, that's my advice. And then screwed up here.

Do you go to the hall to see? Normal appearance, I think he perfectly understands how you look, but live, I hope much better than in the photo, in my opinion, most are terrible. But if it causes such a panic - think carefully. Maybe you should increase the pace of your workouts instead of shaking before every date. Good luck to conquer your charm and inner peace.

What are you doing in the hall?

Well, if he likes puffies, then you have nothing to fear. But still lose weight, do not throw this business.

Go and don't bother, I saw it in the pictures, so I liked it!

In general, my advice to you is to pull yourself together and lose weight, only correctly. You need to meet with him, it will work out - good, if it doesn’t work out - to hell with him. But you have to get rid of the complex and love yourself. Not the same as it is, but thinner. Good luck to you!

Disgusting. I don't know what might be going on. In addition to a ton of cosmetics and effects, I don’t see anything in the photo. Maybe the guy decided to make fun of you? Or he himself is sad. A fat woman can't look good, well, she can't! Don't fool yourself, take care of your body and lose weight. And may you be happy!

Well, you, after all, from the photographs show that you are not thin - at the same time, your appearance is bright, attractive. It is quite possible that this man likes just this type of appearance, but if you were thinner, you would not get acquainted and would not call for a date! In my opinion, you definitely screwed yourself up, I still understand if you were hiding behind the avatar of cats or film stars, but in this situation, it’s obvious that the guy is more than satisfied! So, go ahead and with the song - there is never too much male attention!

Do not bzdit, go on a date, then decide!

This is no longer fat, but fat, and so meet, of course. You never know.

Fashionable full girls will give odds to any thin girl. Don't be shy, feel free to go on a date! Moreover, you wrote that you had men. Were you also embarrassed to go on a date with them, and, moreover, to go to bed?

What's the problem if he saw you in the photo?

This is how I met my husband, if you like a guy - do not be afraid!

Very bright appearance, such a plump! you can lose some weight. Kg for 8.

Do you go to the gym or work out in the gym? More like the first option.

Girl, with your description, you yourself have caught up with a bunch of bile.
I don't think your looks are very attractive. And it's not even because of the fullness. And because of the huge amount of cosmetics, and pretentious facial expressions. But the fact that you promoted yourself, that there were a lot of men, it was, to put it mildly, not necessary. If a guy really likes you, then advice and love. My opinion - if you're so afraid, offer him a double meeting. You are with a friend, and he is with a friend.

Feel free to meet! The sexuality of a girl is expressed not by kilograms, but by internal attractiveness.

Am I pathetic? I never considered myself to be. And yes, I love bright lipsticks, but I don’t look vulgar and vulgar. What's the trouble? But thanks for the criticism, I'll take it into account.

I don't understand what's the problem? If he saw you in the pictures, and even more so - if he likes girls like you, why are you pissing? Forward to the mines!

I'm not saying that you are pretentious, it's just that some photos give such an impression. You are a pretty and bright girl, it seems to me that you feel good even without bright lipstick. But this is my personal opinion.

You are not skinny either. And I don't like the looks. Everyone has different tastes. I did not ask me to comment, but asked for advice on how to get rid of the fear of meeting. If you can't give one, then move on!

Beautiful girl. Do not be afraid of anything. I met my husband in contact and also delayed the first meeting for a long time!

Sexy girls are not necessarily skinny. So don't be shy and date a guy!

The point then is to communicate with someone, and then be afraid to meet. This is some nonsense. You probably just want to hear from us how beautiful you are, do not be ashamed of yourself and run on a date. But no!

Because there are still full girls, but fit and with forms, and there are loose balls, the difference is still huge.

Author, your question is formulated in such a strange way: you ask what to do and, at the same time, immediately reject the options that you may be offered. Don't be offended, but it looks like you're asking for compliments.

No, I'm not into that. I just thought someone would give advice on how not to be nervous and stop winding yourself up, compliments, of course, are pleasant, but I would obviously not apply here for them, here everyone will most likely attack with insults and bullying.

If you are embarrassed to communicate with guys because of the fullness, psychologist help you. Well, or lose weight.

Well, then go on a date as soon as possible - and you will have a pleasant evening, and there will be no time to wind yourself up.

Thanks! Then I will write a post with the result of the meeting!

Not a virgin, and even fat, I wonder what kind of guy is that who likes you?

Go on a date! If you don't like it - and figs with him!

If you have a lot of complexes, no one will help you except you. And "going" to the gym is not an indicator, just like "not a virgin." It is foolish to bring such facts to the public. Listen to your friends more, they, apparently, out of good intentions, stroke your head and feed you rolls?

Fullness does not suit you, and your friends are hypocrites. I understand more, the disease is there. But being physically capable and fat is sad. Do not look for excuses for yourself, do something with excess weight now. A girl can not look sexy, being a lump of fat.

I'm also fat, look at the photo, but I walk and I don't care. Even so I go on dates, easily. If you like it, then at least be in something. These are hormones, they will make you a goddess.

Go and don't worry if the photos correspond to reality, and he liked you - what's the problem?

You are incredibly beautiful! You are told this because if you lose weight, you will be a serious competitor. Pull yourself together and you'll be beautiful and satisfied with yourself!

I wrote in Russian that I go to the gym to study so that there are no comments like go lose weight and so on. I know that I need to lose weight! I wrote about virginity and experience in a relationship so that there would be no comments about the fact that the first time is always painful, and before the first time everyone is worried. What's incomprehensible here? And yes, don’t take it as rudeness, but I’ll lose weight, but you can’t do anything with your appearance. If only plastic.

I wonder what kind of guy it is. And what the author is afraid of, I don’t understand, you won’t lose anything if you go on a date. Your female complexes in this situation are stupid out of the blue.

If it suits him, then why complex?

I had a period, sat on dating sites. I went on dates almost every day. There was such garbage twice, I come to the meeting place, and the guy I was supposed to meet drove up in a wheelbarrow, but didn’t get out of the car, stood for two minutes and left. Unpleasant, of course, but nothing terrible. And the second stupidly turned off the phone a couple of minutes before the meeting, I think that he was also sitting somewhere nearby in the car.

There was exactly the same situation, terribly driven, eventually met, met for 1.5 years, almost got married. Go and don't worry, we wind up a lot of all sorts of garbage for ourselves.

The sexiest girls are self-confident. So boldly go, since he calls you on a date. So he liked you.

100 grams of champagne - and go!

You are a very pretty girl, don't be afraid! You are not going to the registry office with him! Maybe when you see him, you yourself will understand that he is not so Ah!

Thanks a lot! I'm afraid you won't like it. The photo is one thing, live everything is different.

We need to make up our minds and see you! Do not be afraid, you are a spectacular girl, he will like you!

I'm not skinny either! I met my husband at the gym! Imagine, he saw me in all its glory.

Gym - a separate issue altogether!

So get together, pull yourself together and go ahead! I will keep my fingers crossed for you. Good luck to you!

Thank you very much for your support!

The main thing is that you like yourself! A person should be happy, everything else will follow. Ai don't you dare change yourself because of the guys!

You, I see, and so the girl without complexes. What are you afraid of? Feel free to date! Don't like it - well, figs with him! Meet your destiny!

Go on a date! If he doesn't like something, well, the flag to him! You should like it the way it is! Fat or skinny, with or without makeup!

I am a former dancer. Always had a beautiful figure. And then I was bombed by 30 kg in three months. There were pictures of a dancer on the Internet, and a fat woman was sitting at the computer. Met a bodybuilder. For three months she did not agree to meet, and in the new year she got drunk and invited me to her place (to a party). Lived for five years! Until I lost weight.

Now I have lost 23 kg and met again through the Internet. We talked for two months, and while he was flying, I gained 4 kg (the New Year is all to blame). We met, everything is super! So don't be shy!

In general, I love stories about all sorts of weight loss!

If you are confident in yourself, body weight will not become an obstacle to personal happiness! Forward!

Certainly go! The taste and color of markers are different! It was the same two years ago. Mom made me go and get acquainted, because I was afraid of the first meeting. Summer wedding. So go ahead! Good luck!

Do you go to the gym on a treadmill for an hour at 2 speeds? I have such bodies in the hall, but in general, I read your comments, you are some kind of crazy fat pig. So the guy is 100% joking. It’s better to go to the hall one more time than go for a walk with him. Fat will not burn itself.

Oh, we couldn’t meet for more than a year, and now we’ve been together for more than a year! Although I know how scary it is, it's worth a try. No so no. Hurry up and find a new one.

If you do not feel comfortable with your weight and you have complexes about this - lose weight!

Sorry, of course, but I would not say a word if I heard criticism from a person with a good and well-groomed appearance. And if you look at my comments, you will see that I answered politely to many comments, and listened to them. I just don't see the point in listening to bad guys from people who look worse than me. My only drawback outwardly is excess weight, and I will get rid of it. And about divorce or not. Do you think everyone loves skinny guys? Look around, there are many fat girls in the world, there are fatter than me, and they have favorite people. Discuss at your leisure on this topic. And about virginity, I also wrote about male attention in order to avoid stupid comments like: the first time is always dumb, painful, scary, and so on. That's all.

Touches when a fat woman justifies herself. Come on baby, burn some more!

So you think that only those who look better than you have the right to criticize your appearance? Have you thought about the fact that, for example, for me (maybe) that girl looks better than you? As my boyfriend says, it's all fat women's fiction. And in fact, normal men like thin chicks. Well, it is, to each his own, of course. But in your post, it’s clear that you yourself don’t like your weight, which means you lose weight for yourself, and not for a guy from the Internet. And about virginity - I still don’t understand, where does it hurt terribly and the like? For example, I didn’t think about sex at all, you would at least meet and talk first, maybe he’ll freeze at all, or you yourself will see him in life and don’t want to continue to communicate.

Why is it better than me? Just agree, she is far from the ideal of beauty! If I knew that you are 100% in the photo, and you would write to me that I need to lose weight, I would not say a word rude, because it is clear that a person (that is, you) takes care of himself! And generally speaking. Wouldn't it be better for her and you to call me fat and so on, advise some exercises or diets that help you maintain a figure. No, you have to pounce and throw stones, like, you're fat, stay at home, no one will ever look at you and so on. Yes figs there! They look at me even at this weight! It's just that I really like this guy myself, and I'm very afraid he won't like it! And I wanted banal support, how to behave, how to tune in! Don't ask for compliments! And even more so - I don’t want to listen to the dirt that girls like you pour!

And I don't want to see photos of fat people here! Here!

I recently went to the gym myself, I don’t know myself, I’m still an amateur, but in general - climb on the Internet, find Usmanova and public her, there are a lot of exercises for girls. Well, nutrition is the main thing, it is 60%, or even all 80% of success. I don’t know, I just don’t like it when non-anonymous people write posts, and then they attack girls who criticize. If I don’t want to hear criticism even from freaks, then I don’t upload my pictures here, although I look good. In short, I didn’t have such meetings and acquaintances, I can’t say anything sensible, but about losing weight, look for programs on the Internet, download the GymUP application to your phone - very cool, there are programs and exercises. In short, the Internet is teeming with it all. No, I'm not saying that you should sit at home, on the contrary - I wanted to motivate a little, because in fact there is nothing enchantingly wonderful in taking care of yourself and losing weight, I personally go to the gym with great pleasure, and vice versa, I relax there from everyone problems. Although I will die later, but my weight is 49 kg, so the situation is different. In short, good luck to you, you will write later what is happening with your boyfriend. But personally, I don’t really relate to all these Internet stories, although there are also very unexpectedly happy endings.

Well, if he doesn't like you like that, then it's not yours.

Baby, once again I write: female sexuality is not about weight! And if you internally burn with fire, your eyes sparkle, he will like you even with an imperfect figure. Forward!

It doesn't matter if you are fat or thin, there are many boys who, on the contrary, love donuts! And you - do not worry, there should be a lot of good people. Go, no matter what fullness and so on, the main thing is how you hook him when you meet. And do not be afraid, if it is yours, then everything will be fine!

Well, the campaign, he likes your fullness, everyone has their own fetishes ..

Do not lose weight for a man If you are comfortable in your body - stay in shape. But, if you feel discomfort - diet, enhanced training, and so on.

I would go on a date. I would have freaked out just from thinking, I would have gone, and come what may!

Such a beautiful face and now a lovely fullness. And the fact that you go to the gym will gradually give results. Go boldly on a date and most importantly - confidence! And then, maybe you yourself will not like it, and you will run away! Good luck!

Previously, one had to think when the fat was jammed with sweets.

You don't know what the psychology of sexuality is. Very often you do not understand what a man found in this freak. And it turns out that he wildly likes the feeling of his next to her. And her fats and cellulites crumples with great pleasure. So feel free to go on a date! Moreover, you are a beautiful girl!

I always had such a fear when I met through the Internet! Nothing, everything ended well, don't worry. If he said that you like it, then you like it, do not wind it up.

Yes, for taste and color, there is a fan for each type. He saw you in the photo, so why are they afraid?

It seems to me, or do relatives and friends tell all fat girls that their fullness suits them? They also say so to me, although it is clear that there are shortcomings! If you go in for sports, then don’t worry about the figure, you fix it, after all. And what's more, he likes it. What else is needed? Don't be afraid of anything!

He may have fallen in love with your fullness, and you were going to lose weight!

Girl, are you sure he's not a maniac? The fact that he likes full ones is already clear. If you are losing weight, tortured by a diet in appearance, no one will like it. The question is security. Now even convicts are looking for girls through the Internet. I wouldn't risk it.

Girls, and if the situation is almost like this, only a guy in the army will come in the fall, I know him personally, but we haven’t talked for a couple of years, like sympathy, I think, wait for him from the army, or build other relationships?

Build other relationships.

Go on a date!

How to impress a guy on a first date? Any girl can confidently answer this question, but when it comes to practice, especially if you feel sympathy for a man, something strange starts to happen. You don’t know what dress to wear, what makeup to choose, what to talk about and more. This is how women are arranged, they always worry before a crucial event, especially when they want to make an effect.

At the first meeting, it is important to intrigue, but not shock. After all, it depends on how the conversation goes, whether there will be a second date and further relationships. Many women and inexperienced girls make the mistake of showing themselves to be what they really are not. Having misled the guy, unpleasant situations subsequently arise - he is unlikely to like deception. It is better to be real and consistent, in which case the date will be remembered by both.

Choosing a meeting place

Of course, a man should invite you on a date, but if the proposed place is located in an unfamiliar area or is far from home, you can offer to meet on “your territory”. It is important to choose a quiet cozy place that is familiar to you, because in such conditions it will be much safer, after all, the man is still a stranger. Also, familiar streets and houses will create a sense of calm, which means that it will be much easier to communicate.

You can be the first to invite a man on a date, there is nothing to be ashamed of. Courageous girls take the solution of many problems and tasks into their own hands, why not take the first step herself? In this case, the choice of a place all the more falls on fragile shoulders, and it is better to meet in your favorite cafe, restaurant or park.

How to look

The first date with a man obliges the girl to make a good impression - he must see in front of him a charming person with whom it is interesting to talk. At the same time, the appearance should also bring pleasure, without repelling the guy. The impression that a young man will have depends on the outfit. The chosen wardrobe should be comfortable and appropriate. It is better not to wear high-heeled shoes - firstly, they are not comfortable, and secondly, a girl in this form may be taller than a guy, causing him a certain complex.

In no case should you dress vulgarly, paint too brightly and overdo it with toilet water - on a date with a guy, both should be comfortable. In addition, a girl in this form is unlikely to interest a young man. At the same time, in appearance, grooming should be visible from the ends of the hair to the nails - hairstyle, natural makeup, classic manicure and moderate outfit will definitely impress.

Behavior

Whether you're dating a married man or a single guy, you should be as natural as possible. The opposite sex is attracted to girls who can easily keep up the conversation, do not overdo it with the manners of education, are not mired in complexes and embarrassments. Questions should be answered easily and naturally, and you should not talk too much and go into unnecessary details, otherwise the guy will think that he is sitting in front of a talker or a bore.

How to behave with a man on a date? Smile more often, but only sincerely - real positive emotions suggest a pleasant conversation and the emergence of mutual feelings. If he tells a sad, tragic or serious story, support him with facial expressions. Looking at one point, not expressing emotions, he is unlikely to understand that the girl really empathizes with him. However, there is no need to grimace either, everything should be in moderation.

What to talk about?

How to impress a man on a first date? Learn to listen to him - the male sex loves when their speeches are given attention. When asking questions, give him the opportunity to fully express his thought. If you interrupt, you will get the feeling that you are not interested in what he is saying.

What to talk about at the first meeting? What topics can repel, and what should you definitely find out about a person who, perhaps in the future, will offer to marry? You need to ask relevant questions, while being consistent. You can ask about:

• Hobbies - let him tell you what he does in his free time from work or study.
• Achievements - all of a sudden, he achieved some heights in the area that he managed to talk about. Let him boast, men also like to do this.
• Leisure - find out if he likes to travel to other cities and countries, or if he spends his holidays in his hometown. Does he visit entertainment venues, what interesting things did he see while traveling or playing? Is it possible to travel soon?
• The future - no need to ask how many children he wants. Let him talk about what he plans to achieve.

It is better to talk with a man at ease, if he feels comfortable, then he will tell more. Don't turn a date into an interrogation especially by figuring out how much he gets. He may turn out to be a wealthy guy, or maybe he took a loan for a date. It is better to let him calmly talk about himself, so that on the basis of the information received, later compare what he said. If he is a deceiver, then inaccuracies and discrepancies will slip through the conversation.

You should not discuss his family with a married man - this is not why he came on a date. Also, do not complain and compare him with the former, guys do not like this either.

First meeting rules

How to interest a man so that he wants to meet again and organize an unforgettable evening? In achieving the goal, the rules of 1 date will help, which must be observed:

• Excessive efforts in trying to make a positive impression are superfluous, otherwise he will notice the game and unnaturalness, which will immediately push him away.
• At the first meeting, we ask questions, try to get him talking, giving him an advantage in the conversation. At the same time, you can’t sit silently or just giggle at what you hear.
• Even if you see that a guy likes you, restrain yourself in reciprocity. There must be a mystery to keep him tormented in thought. For this reason, it is not necessary to tell everything about yourself, otherwise he will have nothing to solve.
• Keep the conversation light, ask questions that will help you understand the person. There is no need for a question-and-answer game.
• Compliment him by expressing a positive opinion about the chosen institution where the date takes place. Only to sing praises to him, wanting to please, should be done carefully. Otherwise, he will become arrogant or suspect pretense.
• It will not work to attract frank outfits, except for a short relationship. It is better to impress with spiritual qualities and moderate breeding.
• If you really liked the young man, or the meeting was with a married man, you can take further initiative into your own hands. But there is no need to impose - if he is not interested, telephone terror will only aggravate the situation.

How to end a date

It is not enough to have an ideal meeting, it is also important to finish it with dignity in order to receive invitations for further dates. This should be done by a girl, and without waiting for a late time. As soon as the young man spends, it is important to thank him, expressing how interesting, but quickly the time has passed. No need to ask when you will see each other again - if a man wants, he will invite you.

Sometimes a guy shows with all his appearance that the meeting went well, but then does not call. The times when girls with their heads held high, waiting for a call, while suffering and crying in despair, have passed. You can call yourself and ask how he is doing. After all, you met, communicate, which means you are friends. Ask how your friend is doing? Just don’t ask about a date, if he is silent, then he didn’t like you or he has temporary difficulties.

Common Mistakes

What not to do on a first date:

• Intentionally deceive and hypocrisy - the girl she likes will then be ashamed herself that she went to get acquainted with a guy out of greedy or other motives.
• Talking about a serious relationship and the prospect of creating a family - a man will immediately feel that they are trying to put responsibilities on him. This will scare him away, because first he must get to know the woman better in order to want to create a cell of society with her.
• It is vulgar to dress and behave - so he will think that his companion is a frivolous and accessible person.
• Boasting about the number of boyfriends - even if a girl really arouses guys' interest, you shouldn't be proud of it.
• Hide your eyes - the guy will think that his companion is not interested in talking to him, and she does not know how to end the meeting.

Is it possible to interest a young man at the first meeting? And how! Be natural, do not abuse alcohol, greedily absorb ordered food, demonstrate bad habits. Be restrained in everything, and he will definitely appreciate the time spent with you, and after one day, and sometimes an hour, he will understand that he wants to see you again.

The rules for first dates with a married man are similar - following them, no one guarantees an early wedding. However, you will be protected from most mistakes, which means you can make a good impression.