Instruction

If the child is afraid of doctors, do not deceive him when going to an appointment. Don't tell him the injection doesn't hurt and the doctor won't examine him at all. When this lie is revealed at the reception, subsequently the child will no longer trust you, and he will be even more afraid of doctors. It is better to explain that it will still hurt, but not for long. When the procedure is over, be sure to praise your baby. Before you go to the hospital, be sure to tell your child what he will encounter there. If your throat hurts, you need to tell why the doctor will need a special wand. You can even demonstrate with a teaspoon that this is not at all scary.

In order not to be afraid of doctors, let your child play in the hospital! It’s good if you have a phonendoscope or a doctor’s toy set at home. Invite dolls and plush animals to see the doctor and show your child how the doctor treats his patients. Moreover, you can take turns being a doctor with your child. Be sure to control the course of the game, do not allow the child to hurt her toy patients. Being in the role of a doctor, praise your patients after undergoing procedures.

You can form the image of a good doctor with the help of fairy tales. Read with your child "Doctor Aibolit" by Korney Chukovsky. Also suitable is Vladimir Suteev's book "About a hippopotamus who was afraid of vaccinations." You can also make up stories and fairy tales about children or animals that are experiencing the same problems as your baby. Tell us about a bear cub who had a sore throat but couldn't get better because he was afraid to go to the doctor. The end of the fairy tale should be good - the bear cub conquered his fear, went to see a kind doctor, and was instantly cured!

Useful advice

Not every children's clinic has a play corner, so that the child does not get nervous while waiting in line for an appointment, take his favorite toys or books with you.

From early childhood, kids learn to play, often copying the behavior of adults. By observing what and how the child plays, you can find out in what environment the baby grows and develops. The ability to protect oneself from the rudeness of other children can be developed in a child in the process of games.

Instruction

The game is a necessary element of education. After all, it is through the game that the child perceives the surrounding reality. It is very important that it is the parents who teach him role-playing games and take part in this themselves.

Children's games are a reflection of adult life situations, only they do not really happen. The daughter sees how her mother prepares to eat and repeats this role after her, arranges her small dishes and feeds the dolls. The son notices how dad is fixing the car and also asks for a set of tools to fix something. Children observe the importance of work in the life of adults and also play “work”. They want to be older and more mature, so they try on adult roles. During the games, children can speak in phrases that they heard from their parents or repeat the actions and mannerisms of adults.

Many mothers know that if the baby is afraid to go to the doctor's office, you need to play "doctor" with him. To do this, you can get a children's kit medical instruments. It is necessary to invite the child to listen to his breathing and look at the neck. The child understands that nothing terrible happens to him with such actions. It would be even better if he himself did not stay long as a doctor. Knowing what manipulations take place in the doctor's office, the baby will feel protected.

Examples of such role-playing games, where the child tries on adult life many can be cited. All of them are an important socializing factor, helping the little person to understand the world.

In the future, when the baby plays with his peers, they will also repeat these games. Here comes into force an even more powerful factor of growing up - the need to find a common language with other people. After all, it is clear that a mother, playing with a child, calculates all possible situations in advance. Knowing the behavior of her baby, the mother prevents the development of undesirable moments. Other children will not do this.

Playing with them, the child will have to learn to listen to a different opinion and take into account the desires of another person. Learn to find compromises in controversial decisions - that is, he will learn to defend himself in different life situations. Often children have misunderstandings that reach the first children's fights. It is important to explain to the child that no controversial issues can be resolved by force, you need to be able to defend yourself and your point of view with the help of words and beliefs.

If a child learns to defend himself and defend himself in the game, it will be much easier for him in life. The task of parents is to help the baby in this.

Related videos

Sources:

• How to teach a child to defend

Tip 4: How to respond to your child's problems and failures in school

Not all parents can say that the school life of their children flew by unnoticed, without difficulties and failures. However, most are likely to agree with the idea that many problems could have been avoided if they had had experience or a good adviser.

In any case, for a child, mom and dad are the main authority and final authority.

For everything that happens to a child up to the age of majority, parents are responsible. Therefore, it is very important that before entering the children's team, he knows how to communicate correctly, speaks the language of communication and understands what can be allowed in his behavior and what cannot. I will give an example: students of the younger and high school often start games during breaks that can be dangerous both for them and for those around them. And if during such a game they run into another child on the run, then this can result in injury. After that, the parents will be called to school (well, if not to court). The teacher in such a situation can only make a remark. Are all children taught to respond to comments? In this case, the child may sincerely not understand that he is to blame. And here it is very important that parents imagine the situation as a whole, and do not immediately rush to protect the child at all costs.

Tip 1: when a conflict situation arises, do not go to the conflict yourself. Listen to your child first, then the teacher. Try to understand what is your child's fault, and what is the fault of the other side. If the issue is complex, do not neglect the advice of a lawyer and other specialists. And in no case do not arrange demonstrative educational actions for your child in the presence of strangers. Even if you are convinced that the child is to blame, the only thing that is appropriate is to say: "It's all clear. We'll talk at home." And at home just to talk and nothing more.

If the child has learning difficulties

It looks very funny when parents who studied average at school demand that their children bring high grades in the diary. But even if you yourself graduated from school with a gold medal, this does not mean that your abilities were transferred to your child. Genetics - the lady is not very predictable. Very little is needed to avoid stress in the family due to the poor results of children in school. Let kids do more of their favorite subjects, even if it's PE or tech. Olympiads are also held in these subjects and high results can be achieved. And for unloved subjects, it is necessary to agree that the grades will be no lower than 3.

The basic principle regarding bad marks: if you get a 2, immediately close it with a higher mark. It is good when parents remember the school curriculum and can help their child deal with homework. Not bad if the family has extra money to seek advice from a specialist (not everyone needs a permanent tutor). But if there is neither one nor the other? Then you have to stick simple rule when checking homework: first, the child must learn and tell the rules (they are in almost all textbooks), then with the help of the rules a written task is performed. When doing homework in oral subjects, it is important to prepare a retelling in stages: first learn the main thing (dates, stages, definitions), then examples (actions, experiments, characteristics).

Tip 2: In order to properly help your child with homework, ask the teacher to give their recommendations on the stages of preparation. This way you will know what the requirements are.

If the child has difficulty communicating with other children

The children's community, if it is not controlled by adults, is a very tough environment in which conflict situations regularly occur. This is especially true for boys. Therefore, when entering school and then regularly with the child, you need to talk about all the problems that arise in order to keep your finger on the pulse. Unfortunately, very often we have to deal with a situation where children, even in their late teens, are not aware of the legal consequences of their actions. For example, not everyone understands that swearing at school is administrative offense, which may be followed by a fine, and assault in response to an insult is an even more serious offense. In the end, parents have to answer for everything again.

Tip 3: If your child has been bullied at school, don't try to sort things out with the bully yourself. Be sure to contact the teacher and request an invitation to the parent's three-way talk. If this does not work, you have every right to contact law enforcement agencies.

For normal development As a child, it is absolutely necessary for him to believe that good always triumphs over evil, that the world around him is good. On this basis, all fairy tales are built. Yes, evil can also be present in the world, but these are such small inclusions that easily defeat good. Otherwise, the child will be afraid, and fear paralyzes intellectual and emotional development.

Therefore, children who survived the war, the loss of loved ones, natural disasters on a subconscious level want to forget these terrible impressions, switching to something more joyful and bright. If they were to go in cycles in these nightmarish experiences, they would not have the strength to continue to live.

And those parents are not right who inspire the child that the world is cruel, that in life you have to fight your way through. The child is small, and the world around him is huge, and how can you not be afraid that he is unlikely to be able to conquer the whole world, and therefore some children show fears, while others show aggression in order to overcome this same fear.

But often the father, whose authority is the most significant and important for the child, and his word weighs more for the child than the words of everyone else, instead of protecting his son from offenders, deprives the baby of self-respect, calling the baby a slobber.

How to protect a child if he is constantly offended in kindergarten?

It is necessary to talk with the teacher, because the administration of the preschool institution is primarily responsible for the physical and mental health of children. If adults (educators) allow children to fight, they can go wild, and if they don’t allow it, then even the most poorly educated boys learn to resolve issues without fights and insults. It happens that only a transfer to another kindergarten is a way out, but it also happens that a child, wherever he goes, becomes a victim of fighters, which means that there is something in him that provokes offenders.

How to teach a child to hit back in kindergarten photo

Constant aggression is provoked by those children who bully themselves, and then rush to complain. Such children should be taught not so much to fight back as to get along with children, not to be sarcastic, not to play pranks, to be friendly.
There are children who perfectly play the role of a victim - with any even a small conflict or push, they throw a tantrum, tears - the offenders really like this. They are interested in how with a doll - you press the button - you watch a concert.

How to overcome the fear of offenders? Extensive experience of communicating with children shows that it is easier to overcome fear when you protect not yourself, but someone weaker or your friend. Sympathy and a sense of compassion drown out fear, and the offender, feeling that they are not afraid of him, will think well before getting into a fight again.

If you want your child to be able to fight back, rebuff the offender, develop in him a sense of justice, pity, compassion. People pity only the weaker ones, which means that in order to pity someone you have to feel very strong. This is even, perhaps, more important than teaching the baby to fight back, which, however, also does not hurt. The main child must know for sure that you can’t offend children, you can’t bully, but if you offended, give back. Often the parents themselves are largely to blame. Sometimes a child may be accidentally pushed or hit during a game and your child would not even pay attention to this if it were not for you. Many mothers fly to "protect the child" with an oar at the ready, ready to kill (if not physically, then with words) everyone and everyone who harmed the child. They inflate a scandal out of an insignificant situation, deduct children and their parents and cannot calm down for several minutes, and sometimes days in a row.

Children will reconcile after 5 minutes if adults do not get into their relationship. Maybe in a minute during the game your child will accidentally touch someone. Children are always on the move and no one is safe from this.

There is a concept to hit back - it means to answer blow for blow, and immediately, without hesitation. (After a fight they do not wave their fists). By this, make it clear to the fighter that they say it’s better not to climb on me, otherwise it will hurt. The main thing is that children distinguish aggressiveness from randomness. And so that they know how to forgive if the offender repents and says: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to” or “I’m sorry, it happened by accident.” Teach your child to ask for forgiveness. This will keep him out of fights and help keep his friends.

There is a concept to stand up for yourself - not to let you be offended, i.e. worthy to get out of the conflict.

It is necessary to teach the child to be friendly, peaceful, honest, fair, self-confident, physically strong, to teach to adequately assess the situation so that he does not start a fight first. These are always treated with respect, they are rarely attacked. This is exactly what we should strive for.

If, nevertheless, they attacked, it is important to be able to defend themselves, but without aggression, without hatred, you just need to put the offender in his place. In this case, feasible will help physical exercise, i.e. physical training. At kindergarten age, it is probably too early to take a child to martial arts sports sections (although those parents who passed did not regret it). But at sports and even playgrounds, it is necessary to strengthen physical health baby, and if the finances and size of housing allow you to install a wall bars or a horizontal bar in the child’s nursery, the baby will be strong and healthy, thanks to constant exercises, as well as dexterous and strong.

The child must know and understand that girls should not be beaten. Although lately this has become a big problem, because girls are born initially more than boys, and quite often offend the "stronger sex". And boys, knowing that girls should not be beaten, often do not know how to avoid aggression. And here it is important that adults help him, explain that he should not be a victim, but also not to beat the girl in any case. Now it is not uncommon that girls can also attack - cover yourself with your hands, dodge, translate into a joke, leave, but do not hit, do not give back. The natural task of a man is to protect a woman!

Children in the kindergarten often act on a subconscious level, and your task is to raise a real man at such a young age, which will stand up for himself and protect the weaker ones. Always pay attention to the child, which of the children is well behaved, and which is very wrong.

Parents are obliged to discern the subconscious childish aggression, both in their child and in the children with whom he plays, to try to contact less aggressive children.

Teach your kids about sports. Team games unite children well, bring up team spirit, self-confidence, discipline. And the absence of aggression, peacefulness and goodwill are able to "lead" a person away from a dangerous situation.

Don't bully your child. Good always wins over evil, but sometimes good must be with fists to defend itself, but not to attack.
Anna Salova

Very often in our life there are cases when we are faced with either outright malice, or rudeness, or barbs and bullying. Life can be poisoned by constant attacks from a colleague or some acquaintance, and sometimes aggressive behavior on the road, in line or in the subway can drive you crazy. And for some of us, those who do not know how to quickly parry, the question arises: “What is the best way to behave: to retire nobly or to hit back with a caustic word?” The main thing is to learn to behave with dignity with the offender, so that he is ashamed and offended, and not you.

So, The first thing to start with is learning to control your emotions. And we may have the following: confusion, depression or aggression. Pull yourself together and say clearly to yourself: “You can’t show your confusion and run into the bushes”, “I can overpower myself and not show depression, “I must not be silent with wet eyes or red ears”, “I will not show my anger and irritation, as if I had really been hurt to the quick, and I will not allow the offender to triumph. It will be easier for you to do this if you represent your opponent in some pathetic or ridiculous way: an evil gnome, a yelping dog. Or put him in an aquarium and imagine that he slaps his lips like a bloated ball fish, and you don’t hear anything, trying in vain.

The second point is to be able to give a worthy rebuff."School of slander" is not such a nasty thing. Only you need to be able to “slander” not with primitive offensive and well-known words, but beautifully and with humor in order to preserve your “honor of uniform” and leave the other without arguments. You should not respond with rudeness to rudeness, although in some cases this is what helps, but more on that later.

If you periodically encounter the problem of “lack of resourcefulness” in the right situation, then prepare a few phrases and arguments in advance: universal and according to the situation. What it means: the former are suitable in any situation and any person, and the latter should be considered in advance if you know in advance that it is likely that your permanent offender will probably go through such and such a topic.

For example, some regular official in our prosperous bureaucracy was rude to you, say: “I can see from you that you have problems with women, but I have something to do with it, I just needed a certificate.” Or someone barked in a public place, answer: “You can see that life is difficult for you, but why take your anger out on me.” Of course, this is how you should do it, if you have nothing to lose but your own face, then it’s better to leave victoriously and not spoil your mood with failure.

But if you, coming to work with a new bag, a new one, or preparing a new report, are waiting for the next inevitable criticism, prepare in advance. Think over what exactly, at what nuance and in what vein this criticism can be directed, prepare a refutation, evidence and the “point” that will be put after your remark. You can even consult with one of your friends and relatives: how they see this situation, what they would say in your place, how they would parry.

And the third point - when and to whom it is possible to be rude and whether it is necessary to do it at all? Of course, learning bad manners is not the most respectable thing to do. But, unfortunately, in our today's reality there are more and more such subjects, from whose behavior you need to be able to protect yourself. And, alas, often only the same methods of “communication” that they use themselves act on them.

So, for starters, think carefully about whether it is worth saying anything to the offender at all. Sometimes people are aggressive and can reach the point of using physical force, regardless of gender and. So sometimes it's better to retire quietly and not seek adventure in a familiar place for all of us.

If the “villain” is just an ordinary boor and does not pose a danger, but you don’t want to leave humiliated and offended, then answer him in the same spirit, do not be shy. Just concentrate all your anger, indignation and pour emotions on him in one fell swoop. Maybe even a couple of capacious words. Indecent? Think about it, did he behave decently when he told you about the same thing? So do not be shy once again, and if the situation allows: a firmer voice, a sterner face and a response “shot”. Believe me, after such an “exit” of negative words, all your negativity will also go away. Sometimes it’s better to let off steam, and not to accumulate resentment and anger inside yourself, not to feel trampled and humiliated all day.

Learn to control yourself, your emotions and find the strength for a worthy and effective rebuff, depending on the situation and those people who are trying to offend you. And you will see - in many ways, life will become easier and calmer. After all, the most important thing is not to transfer your resentment to loved ones and innocent people, but to be able to give what they deserve to those who are really to blame for this.

Parents of preschoolers and even schoolchildren often have the question of how to teach a child to stand up for himself.

How to do it, psychologists will tell.

What to do if a child bites his nails? Learn about it from ours.

Psychology and causes

Why can't a child fight back?

adults, often without realizing it, form different and in a child.

Trying to instill correctness and politeness in the baby, we sometimes forget that we need to be able to stand up for ourselves.

Mom says: fighting is bad, and, learning this, the child cannot fight back.

Example. They try to take away a toy from a child in the sandbox. The kid resists, not wanting to give what is his, but the grandmother says: give it back, are you sorry? With each similar situation the child learns that it is not necessary to fight for one's own. It seems that adults wanted the best, but it turned out the other way around.

Another example. The parents of the baby are very despotic, the child is brought up in harsh conditions. He is not allowed to express his own opinion, constantly criticized, belittled.

As a result, an underestimated one is brought up. The child is afraid to be strong not only in front of adults, but also to his peers. The fear of punishment brings up in him.

If the baby is by nature has a weak nervous system, health problems, it is more difficult for him to cope with the difficulties of the outside world. The problem is exacerbated by overprotection.

Adults want to protect from difficulties, but in fact they do not allow the child to learn how to cope with external influences, difficult situations.

Arises problem avoidance response.

When a child is bullied by peers, the mother's first reaction is to save him. But in fact, he is quite capable of fending for himself.

And if adults always protect him, this can cause ridicule from other children, which also hits the child's self-esteem. Proper upbringing- a whole science, and parents should carefully choose methods of influence.

Criticism and accusations from parents also negatively affect the child's self-esteem.

He was defeated in a fight- instead of supporting and telling how to act correctly, parents swear - a coward, a weakling, thereby provoking the formation of self-doubt and the feeling that he is not capable of anything.

What to do if the baby is not able to fend for himself?

To start you can't scold him.

If a child has low self-esteem, you need to find a way to increase his self-confidence.

Criticism and accusations lead to the opposite result.- the baby will become even weaker, many complexes and fears will appear, he will avoid and will not be able to protect himself.

However, this does not mean at all that it is necessary to learn to rush at the offender with fists without understanding the situation. Even if the child is still small, it is useful for him to develop self-control skills.

The task of parents is to educate a strong, self-sufficient personality, able to distinguish between an attack for no reason and a forced defense.

Children incredibly receptive to what they are told. Therefore, parents have to be careful with the methods of education.

It is difficult for unsociable children to fend for themselves, so it is important to pay attention to proper socialization. If the child does not go to Kindergarten, take him to development groups, circles, where he will be in contact with other children, learn to cooperate.

In some teams there is unhealthy environment. This happens due to the fact that adults do not pay enough attention to establishing favorable atmosphere within the group.

In this case, the correct solution might be transfer of the child to another institution.

Choose a kindergarten where the individuality of children is taken into account, where an individual approach is sought for each child.

If he sits alone in the corner and doesn't play, competent educators they will find a reason and do everything so that preschoolers enter the team and learn to communicate with their peers.

Often parents themselves provoke aggressive behavior. Each group has a child with a problematic upbringing.

Pay the attention of the educator and psychologist to his behavior, let them discuss it with his parents.

How to teach a child to give back?

What to do if your son or daughter is attacked and he does not respond:

Be sure to talk to your teacher. Find out why peer influence is allowed on the child.

If you have changed kindergarten or school, but it continues, then it is not the environment, but the child himself.

Watch how he communicates with his peers, ask teachers about his behavior, how he provokes other children. Have a conversation with him, draw his attention to how he behaves and that it is his behavior that provokes conflicts.

Children with victim complex noticeable, usually immediately.

They have slumped shoulders and head, as if they want to hide, they try to look away, because they do not like eye contact.

Their voice is quiet, monotonous, speech is uncertain, it is difficult for them to immediately answer the phrases addressed to them. They can cry, run away, complain to caregivers. If you see a child showing signs of a victim, start working on his behavior.

Important: criticism, accusations, ridicule is not allowed. Parents should do everything possible to increase self-esteem.

Invite the child to straighten his shoulders, pay attention to him that in this state he feels stronger. Find him a hobby that will help him gain confidence and self-esteem because of his accomplishments.

Parental support is important. Children who are brought up in an authoritarian style do not know how to decide anything on their own. They have such personality traits as depression, lack of initiative, hostility, lack of self-control.

The consequence of overprotection is infantilism, dependence, uncertainty, passivity. That is why parents should pay attention to what methods of education and influence they use.

How to teach a child to fight back - stand up for yourself

Conflicts in our life arise very often, both among adults and among children. How to solve them correctly is a purely individual question, because, you see, for many adults, looking for a way out with the help of fists is the only and correct one. Is it really worth teaching a child to fight? A very controversial issue, because there is a chance that an inveterate bully and a fighter will grow out of your angel. And if you teach a kid to be loyal and kind to everyone and everything, then you can grow a tucked-up sissy who will not be able to fend for himself. How to find the golden mean? How to teach a child to fight back and is it worth it? Believe me, these sensitive questions torment many parents.

If a kid often appears on the playground who likes to offend peers, then there is no better way to calm the offender than to fight back:

Tips for parents:
- Do not intervene if the child gives away all the toys at the request of another child or if he does not respond to the abuser. Most likely, you are raising a child in a friendly atmosphere, which is why aggressive peers do not hurt him at all, but most likely just surprise him. However, make sure that children do not overstep the bounds - intervene only when the child is being bullied by someone who is too aggressive or older.
- Do not forget that babies are not able to figure it out on their own - always watch them play, so your child will feel emotionally safe.
- Try to unite peace-loving children in some interesting games - soon even bullies and fighters will join the game so as not to be left alone.
- If you see that your child is playing with one single toy, and all the rest were taken from him by other children, do not panic and teach him to take away his things - sometimes our children are much smarter - this can be a great strategy.
- Teach your child to show and say that some actions are unpleasant and ugly. For example, you can teach your child to speak loudly to the aggression of an outside baby so that everyone can hear: “Jostling is very ugly. No one is friends with such children!” or "Those who fight, no one plays!".
- If you have a very shy child, you should not force him to play with other children - it is better to let him observe nature in the park.
- Always speak in front of the child. polite words teach him to be careful and courteous.
- Never allow a child to somehow harm peers: neither by word nor by action. Teach him flexibility. When watching children play, do not allow conflicts - on initial stage such a game can be easily taken into a more relaxed relationship and distract the kids.
- If there is an aggressor on the playground, to whom the usual actions do not fit (to warn, distract, say), then you can offer your child an extreme measure - let him pinch the offender, say, for a pop - to hit back. This will not bring any harm, however, it can be great to sober up the little fighter, he will understand that your baby can stand up for himself. But, explain to your child that this can only be done as a very last resort, if all else fails.
- Allow your child to communicate with other children - this will develop self-confidence. In addition, even if your child does not like to “wave his fists”, then he will learn to stand up for himself without it - to strictly warn the offender or show with his appearance that he will not allow you to touch him.
- Sometimes a child may fantasize how he will give change to the offender. It is best to play along with him in such games - this will help him to respond to the aggressor in the future, both with the help of force and with the help of a word. Try to trust the child, do not impose stereotypes on him (this is bad, but this is good), try to discuss problems.
- For a child to know how to fight back, teach him to have compassion for others. Pity is the best weapon in the fight against fear, because one should not be afraid of those who feel sorry for.

Never teach your child to harm other children, in this way you will only exacerbate the problem:

As soon as you notice that the situation is getting out of control and a conflict is possible, try to distract the children with a calm game:

Show your child that The best way resolve the conflict - resolve it peacefully:

Children's peace:
Make peace, make peace, make peace!
And fight no more!
And if you fight...
Then I'll bite!
And nothing to bite...
I will fight with a brick!
And the brick breaks...
Friendship begins!
Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah!
We're friends!
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Personal experience

I never thought that I would ever have to think about this issue ... I am against violence of any kind, in principle. I grow mine without cuffs, ora and “no”, according to this principle:
We explain the word “No” to the child (from 0 to 3+ years)

I teach my daughter of childhood “world peace” - to be friends and play with all the children, and it doesn’t matter that the child wears glasses or braces on his teeth, or for some reason he has no fingers on his hands, or a narrow eye shape or a dark color skin ... - it doesn't matter! All people are different and each person is unique ... I teach mine to feel sorry for special, aggressive and weak children ... There are people like us, but there are others ... and you need to be friends with everyone, you need to feel sorry for everyone!

The only thing…
From the age of 1.5 (from this age we began to walk on the playground) she began to learn her own: “If a child behaves aggressively and inappropriately: screams, fights with other children, rolls on the floor in a tantrum, throws things, calls names, bites, says and shows nonsense... don't answer him the same ( I teach mine that this behavior is only characteristic of stupid children from dysfunctional families. smart kid from normal family never call names / bite / push / fight ... will not ) so that the aggressor does not harm even more, but move away from such a child to the side and turn away from him - do not play, do not talk with him until he comes to his senses and becomes friendly again. After that, you can approach him again and play ... And if you feel that an aggressive child wants to offend you - be closer to adults, in the presence of an adult, the aggressor will be afraid to offend. If the aggressor still hit you or another child / or took away a toy ... immediately loudly so that everyone around could hear, especially adults, say: “Why are you fighting / taking away toys ...!? It’s very bad and indecent to fight / take away toys! ”, - adults will hear your words and come to see what is happening ... After that, move away from the aggressor, it’s better to be closer to adults. An adult will make a remark to the aggressor, and the next time, if the aggressor has at least a little intelligence, he will be afraid to offend you again. ”, - this is what mine always did on the playground, and later in the kindergarten ... I never went with a bat myself never beaten anyone, always friendly with different children, we have a lot of friends and girlfriends, in children's team- leader.

We were lucky with the kids in the kindergarten. There are no aggressive children in our group. All children are friendly. I'm also very lucky with the teachers...

And now, summer has come, namely the month of May ...
From June 01, our favorite teachers went on vacation until September, new ones came from other kindergartens - the child is very pleased with the new teachers. At the same time, from May 01, our group was replenished with other people's children from other kindergartens, of different ages, from 3 to 6 years old (our group is 4-5 years old), and it's great that children are of different ages - I think that communication with children should be encouraged different ages, it is very useful for worldview and personal development ...
The measure is temporary, only summer period, because many gardens are closed for the summer.

New children, according to our educators, compared to ours, are completely wild: they eat with their hands, pick at the plate with their hands, the tables are spat upon after their meal, if they spilled something, they procrastinate the puddle until the pigs are completely soaked (our children - or they call the nanny to clean it up, or they themselves take a napkin from the table and wipe it), then they run dirty, don’t change clothes until you say ... (our children get dirty, they run to change clothes themselves), hands in front of the table, until you say 10 times , they won’t go to wash themselves ... Many new children are aggressive: they don’t know how to play, they don’t know how to communicate with their own kind ... - they solve all issues with shouts and fists, - they say, it’s very difficult with them! And this is despite the fact that the children of the garden! It turns out that they, their educators, did not teach anything ... - the children in those kindergartens are left to their own devices!? Hmm ... Once again I am convinced of how lucky we are with the kindergarten ... Our teachers are in shock, the parents of the “old children” too ... They beat me almost every day, like our others ... I speak all these situations with my daughter, my daughter says: “I step aside… They still come up and beat me… Why, I don’t know… They beat other children the same way… They take away toys…”. I talked with educators ... - it’s impossible to negotiate with aggressive children, - even the educator is powerless, all that the educator can do is to lead the fighters everywhere with him by the hand, like a tail ...

In general, he advised ... I decided to teach my own to hit back, since this is the situation!
Concussion in Children: Personal Experience
Otherwise, they'll score, they'll scare you away... We still have to go to school... - children at school, most of them, are very aggressive! In my school years That's how it was, and now nothing has changed ...

Mine is 4.4 years old.
I teach mine: “Never hit the first one! Step aside ... But, in the most extreme case - if you are still hit, hit the aggressor in response and you - hit back, and it hurts more! At the same time, in a loud voice, so that the teacher and other children can hear, tell the aggressor: “Fighting is very bad! If you hit me, you'll get back! You can only be friends and play with me! ”, - so that the child understands that you can stand up for yourself, that you can’t be beaten ( ! ) so that the next time I'm afraid to go at you with my fists ... ".
In a place with this, I explain to my daughter that: “A child can accidentally knock ( for example: when passing by, do not fit into a turn or make a sharp movement and not notice that someone is standing behind ... ) , step on your foot, drop a pencil from the table, pour water over it, knock over a toy on the carpet ... In this case, this is already an accident, not aggression, and you can’t give change here, because the child didn’t do it on purpose. If the child is educated, he will apologize himself, if not educated, he will look and pass by. You don’t need to be offended by such children, just be careful when someone is standing next to you, so that next time you can dodge the blow in time ... ”
Along with this, I also teach my girlfriends to defend: “You see that your girlfriend is being beaten, but she cannot defend herself ... Come and tell the aggressor to stop fighting, otherwise she will get hurt back, and call the teacher ... ".
At the same time, if any questions arise for mine ..., I teach to say: “Mom allowed me to give change to fighters!”.
I don’t teach my own to complain, only if a very difficult situation has developed - the daughter sees that it is impossible to do without the intervention of the educator ...

In general, our group was divided into old + adequate new kids and aggressive deranged new kids.

And I sit and think about all this ...
Poor kids, that aggressive! After all, the aggression that they bring to the kindergarten ... is a mirror image of what is happening at home in their family. At the same time, their irresponsibility ... is an imprint in the immature children's soul, violence from their parents towards them.

I often see posts here in which mothers brag about how great they are at beating their children, and how silky they become after their cuffs - promoting violence against children for a la "educational" purposes ... And here is the result ... - at home- then they may be silk, but in the garden ... - the child does not know how to achieve his goal in other ways, except for shouting, cuffs and other things that his parents taught him at home. And the saddest thing is that the future of such children is very, very doubtful!
Eh, sad...
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P.S.: Today I take mine to the kindergarten, and I receive good news from the teacher: from Monday, our old children will be united with the children of the parallel group. All new children will be gathered in one, our former group ... Wow!