How to tell young children about divorce. How to tell your child about a divorce and not cause him psychological trauma? Who Should Tell Children About Divorce?

In a divorce, it can be difficult to put the best interests of the children first, especially if the breakup is accompanied byconflicts. After all, among other things, you also have emotions that you have to constantly control! In addition, the need to resolve controversial material and everyday issues, both in the present andin the future, and the worries associated with them also exacerbate the situation.

Of course, you can't get away from all this. But don't forget what you have children and you are one of the parents. You are responsible for your children and must tell them about the upcoming divorce as soft and delicate as possible. It is necessary to surround them with care and attention and support during the process in order to reduce the emotional stress that they may experience.

This article provides guidance and advice on how to tell children about their parents' divorce. It tells what can and cannot be done after telling the children the news of a divorce, how important it is to notice signs of emotional distress in children in time, how to correctly answer questions that they may have.

How to inform children about a divorce?

In the optimal case, the parents together tell the children about their divorce, putting aside the negative attitude towards each other for a while. When both spouses are present during the conversation, they demonstrate to their children that, despite the divorce, they will still take care of them and help them, and the children will have a family - although in a slightly different form, and both parents will actively participate in the lives of their children. children. This approach instills peace in the souls of children and gives them confidence in the future.

Take time to think carefully about what you say before giving the children any details. Try to ensure that in your (with your spouse) words there are no contradictions and conflicting information. If you are not sure how best to tell your children about divorce, seek the help of a qualified child psychologist.

Adults need to agree in advance that when talking with children, they will not look for those responsible for the situation and try to pull the children over to their side. Giving children this choice is unfair and can cause irreparable emotional trauma. Moreover, by blaming the other side for the breakup of the family, you can "kick the ball into your own net", the children will take the side of your spouse.

Before informing children of a divorce, parents should talk to each other and consider the following guidelines:

Be honest with your children about the reasons that led you to divorce, but be mindful of their age and try not to get too carried away. detailed description your break. Tell them everything you need to know without too much detail. If conflict situations have arisen between parents before, you can present the information in a way that is understandable to children, for example: "You know that we often quarrel, so ..."
Do not hide the fact that changes are coming in their lives. Prepare the children for their old life to change. Reassure the children that despite divorce, you both will continue to love them, care for them and actively participate in their lives. Also, don't make promises that you can't keep. Try not to let your words be empty words. Otherwise children they will stop trusting you and will be skeptical of your words and promises.
Let the children know that their parents' divorce has nothing to do with their behavior or academics. Children may misinterpret the facts, and in one way or another feel guilty about the events. Sometimes children believe that if they behave or study better, then their parents will change their minds and not divorce.
When talking to children about divorce, try not to show indignant or skeptical gestures, postures or other non-verbal signs of displeasure, do not argue with your spouse in front of the children. Such behavior is contrary to the message that you want to convey to the children about your future cooperation and mutual understanding for their benefit.
When talking with children, try not to get emotional. Tears, sobs or depression even one of the parents can seriously frighten children, especially small ones. Don't exacerbate their anxiety by acting out drama. Anxiety of older children may be expressed in the fact that they will hide their true feelings and then you will not be able to understand their state, experiences and emotions.

If you do not want to tell your children about the divorce with your spouse, think about who should do it. It may be difficult for one of you to find the strength in yourself for such a story. You may both come to the conclusion that the parent to whom the children often turn for advice and help should report the upcoming divorce.

If during divorce proceedings spouses live separately, it is desirable that children have the opportunity to visit or live with the second parent for some time. This will allow them to once again be convinced of maintaining relationships with both parents and give confidence in their future. However, if children refuse to visit the other parent or do so reluctantly, they should not be forced. Let them have the address of the place of residence, the number of the usual, as well as the mobile phone and email address of the second parent, so that they can contact him at any time.

How to choose the time to talk?

Most people voluntarily or involuntarily prefer to put off an unpleasant conversation or conversation until the last minute. You can think of a lot of reasons to delay the unpleasant moment when you have to tell your children about the divorce. However, it is better for children to learn about the upcoming divorce from their parents than to be told by neighbors or other people. It is very important for children to hear about such important event just from the parents. At the same time, parents need to assure their children of their love, which neither divorce nor separation can affect.

When is the best time to start talking about upcoming changes? Much depends on the age of the children and the circumstances of the divorce. For example, if one of the spouses reports that he has filed for divorce and is going to move out of the common house (apartment) to a new place of residence next week, then the sooner you tell the children about this, the better.

When to start talking to older children?

Keep in mind that older children (teenagers and schoolchildren) should be told about divorce earlier than younger ones (assuming you have some time left), because they will still guess what is happening from snippets of phrases, telephone conversations or documents on your table. In addition, they are already old enough and observant, so they themselves can feel the changes taking place. Therefore, when the decision to divorce is final and irrevocable, and you have a little thought about the upcoming serious conversation with your children, immediately talk to teenagers, taking into account the peculiarities of their perception.

If there is a large age difference between older and younger children, warn the older children not to tell the younger ones yet. For example, if you have teens and preschoolers, talk to the older kids and emphasize that you want to talk to the little ones separately. Warn the older children in advance when you want to tell the kids about the divorce so that later they can answer the questions of the younger brothers or sisters and support them in every possible way.

Do not discuss divorce details with older children until you have discussed the details with your spouse. It is unfair and unworthy to involve children in divorce proceedings, to seek their advice and help. If you need counseling or advice, contact a trusted friend, relative, or professional psychologist.

Set aside time to talk with the younger ones.

If the children are very young or go to primary school, you should not start a conversation with them about a divorce long before the expected separation date. Young children have a different perception of time than adults and adolescents. For them, a week can feel like a month, and a month can feel like a year. By informing them of the divorce ahead of time, you run the risk of heightening their anxiety that grandiose and incomprehensible changes are coming in their lives.

Regardless of the age of the children, nevertheless, if possible, try not to postpone the conversation until the very last moment when you have to part. Try to tell them that you are going to live separately soon so that they have the opportunity to get used to this idea, ask questions that interest them, communicate with both parents and enjoy their attention. All this will be a necessary preparation for further events. About a week after the separation and separation of the parents, you can talk with the kids about the divorce.

Talking with children about divorce: all together or individually?

If there is a small age difference between the children, it is better to file a divorce when they are together; There are two reasons for this.

There will be a sense of unity between the children. It can have a calming effect and become a source of inner strength for children in the future.
When children learn about the divorce at the same time, each of them knows what his brothers and sisters think and feel. Perhaps an adult will not see much difference in this, and children may experience anxiety, not knowing about the mood and attitude of their sisters and brothers towards such an event, or mistakenly believing that their parents' feelings towards them have changed.

If there is a significant difference between children in age, developmental level, or emotional needs, talk to each of them individually. In this case, you will have the opportunity to choose the right words for each child, to support and reassure the children after they learn about the impending divorce.

If you prefer individual approach, after talking with each child, say that you had exactly the same conversation with his brothers and sisters. If children already know how to communicate, they are more likely to discuss the news they hear among themselves. Therefore, information about divorce and upcoming changes in the family must be consistent, despite the fact that it can be expressed in different words. Giving children conflicting information will only increase their anxiety and confusion.

Possible reaction of children

It is hardly possible to accurately predict how the children will react to the news you report. Their behavior will largely depend on their age, level of consciousness, individual characteristics, emotional state, as well as relationships with each of the parents and many other factors. You should have an idea of what kind of reaction may occur in children after the news of the upcoming divorce.

Children's initial reaction.

When children learn about divorce they often distance themselves from their friends. Children may perceive the situation as if, in the whole wide world, trouble has chosen their family, and worry about their future. On the other hand, if the parents openly and often quarreled in the marriage, or the relationship in the family was overshadowed by alcohol abuse, drugs or violence, then divorce will be like a breath of fresh air, because it will mean positive changes in the lives of children.

If the children are having a hard time with the news of a divorce, try to give them more petting and hugging and more attention than usual to encourage them. But sometimes not everything is so simple. If the children need more attention than you can give them, involve relatives or other people with whom the children often communicate.

Try to calm the children.

The most interesting thing is that children's emotions can be a mirror image of yours. They may experience anger, depression, distrust, fear, rejection, and discouragement.

Talking to children can cause a new storm of emotions and you, despite the fact that it seemed to you, you have already coped with them. For example, you may feel guilty about the breakdown of your marriage and the suffering of your children; irritation with the spouse if his (her) actions caused a divorce, or sadness because the children took the news too emotionally. Keep your feelings under control; if you don't manage your emotions, you will frighten and upset the children even more instead of supporting and reassuring them.

Learn to listen to children "actively"

If you haven't had to practice "active" listening with your kids before, now is the time. Active listening means understanding the children's feelings and experiences behind their comments and questions.

For example, a ten-year-old child says: "I'm afraid that you and dad are getting a divorce." Instead of saying "stupid, don't be afraid" or "you're already big, only kids are afraid", ask him: "What exactly are you afraid of?" Listen carefully to the answer and reassure the child. Listening actively does not mean interrupting and correcting the child, lecturing him or lecturing him on behavior. The purpose of active listening is to help the child open up and tell what he is feeling and what is bothering him. Active listening will give you the opportunity to understand the internal state of the child in order to subsequently help him survive difficulties.

Active listening builds love and trust between children and parents, which is exactly what children need at this moment.

Answer the children's questions

After telling the children about the upcoming divorce, give them the opportunity to ask questions that interest them. Most likely, at first they will ask what will change in their lives and what will remain the same. Depending on their age, children will want answers to the following questions:

Where will they live?
Will they go to the same school?
Will the parents live in the same city?
Will they be able to spend their free time with each parent?
Will they be able to continue attending sections or circles?
How will you share parenting responsibilities?
Will they be able to go to camp next year?
Will the family have enough money?
Who will the cat or dog live with?

Answer children's questions clearly, calmly and honestly. If they ask a question you can't answer, say that you don't know the answer yet or that you'll try to find it soon. If possible, give a deadline when you can give an answer, and be sure to keep your promise. If children do not ask direct questions, you may be able to guess their thoughts from their behavior or actions.

It may be difficult for younger children to grasp the essence of what is happening and understand that each of the parents, even after divorce and separation, will still love and care for them. They may ask the same questions over and over again, testing your patience unwittingly. But right now they most of all need your care and attention.

Children's future behavior

After you tell your children about the divorce, carefully observe their mood and behavior and keep the promises you made to them.

Control your behavior and emotions in front of children. Your actions (or inaction) can give them confidence in their abilities or anxiety about their future. Try to follow the guidelines below:

Do not quarrel with your spouse in front of children.
Don't speak negatively about your spouse in front of your children or in conversations with other people where your children might overhear you.
You should not share your dissatisfaction or disappointment in your spouse with friends or relatives in front of children. They may hear something that you would like to keep them away from, and your tone or non-verbal cues may cause them anxiety.
There is no need to exaggerate when talking with children about the upcoming divorce or about how they will live after the divorce. You risk increasing their anxiety and fear.
Do not use children as liaison between yourself and your second spouse. If you want to give any information to your spouse, talk to him personally or through a lawyer.
Do not interfere in the relationship of the spouse (wife) and children, trying to manipulate them, exposing yourself in a good light, and him (her) in a bad light.
Do not pressure children to take sides in adult conflicts.
Avoid sudden lifestyle changes. If possible, try not to change the usual daily routine. Children for the most part do not like change, and divorce in itself is a significant change in their lives.
Do not try to make up for the guilt you feel towards your children with gifts, concessions, or relaxation of discipline.
Do not invite children to advise. Keep your adult thoughts and beliefs to yourself or share them with other adults.
Do not seek solace from children. Rely only on your own strength.
Don't expect your kids to become "real" helpers or housekeepers. Children are children, they cannot bear the burden and fulfill the duties of adults.

Listen to your children

Divorce means not only a change in marital status for adults. For children, divorce means the breakup of the family as they knew it, felt it, and took it for granted.

Divorce of parents can mean for children a change in the financial situation of the family, moving from their home and neighborhood, entering new school and finding new friends. Therefore, if you do not know how to behave with children, react to their mood and behavior, then divorce can be a real test for them, even if you see no other way out.

When parents divorce, children are afraid that they will lose one of them, or that their parents will leave them and they will have to take care of themselves. Therefore, both parents should try to convince children by words and deeds that they will always be ready to help. For example, if you promised your children to do something or go somewhere with them, be sure to keep the promise. Show your kids that you love and appreciate them, and plan a future activity together, like going to the beach or the zoo. If your older child is graduating from high school, take the time to talk to them about career choices and discuss the possibility of going to college.

If you do not pay enough attention to children during the divorce process (and after it), then you risk making them innocent victims of the breakdown of your marriage. Studies show that children of divorced parents are more likely to have difficulties in school and have problems with the law, and this promises a lot of trouble in the future, including considerable costs for consultations with specialists, tutors and even lawyers.

Even if children have already had to deal with similar situation, do not think that the second time it will be easier for them to overcome difficulties. A second divorce evokes the same emotions as the first. Their lives fall apart again due to the incompatibility, principles or lifestyle of two adults who are busy filing divorce papers. Keep in mind that older children experience stronger emotions than when adults first divorce, and may react to events in a completely different way.

To observe how children react to the news of a divorce, try to spend more time with them (but without interrupting their activities). To do this, it is enough to be more in the same room with them, observe their behavior and take a closer look at their mood and emotions during joint events. By devoting more time to them, you will give them the opportunity to express their feelings and sensations, and this will help them better understand their inner world.

What children may be afraid of (and keep back)

During and after a divorce, children (especially young ones) develop fear of the unknown and uncertainty about the future, and they begin to blame themselves for the divorce of their parents. The most common causes of fear are the following.

One of the parents who moves leaves me forever. My parents got divorced because of me.
If I behave myself (study), my parents will be together again.
I have to choose one of the parents. I won't be able to date another after the divorce. A new acquaintance of the father (or mother) will be deleted from the life of the native parent.
My stepbrother or sister will take my place.

Understanding the internal state of the child will help you notice in time that he has problems and find ways to solve them.

Although from the outside it may seem that the children "keep doing well", you should not count on the complete absence of conflict situations in the future between you, as well as at school or in the yard. Watch carefully for any changes in mood or behavior that may indicate emotional problems. Regularly visit the school, circles or sections, communicate with teachers, educators and coaches in order to notice gathering clouds in time.

Hello dear readers! It is common to think that children do not understand anything. In fact, they all feel great. Even kids notice a change and some tension in the family if it is on the verge of divorce.

Today we will talk about how to tell a child about a divorce, the advice of a psychologist will come in handy. This is very important point and what will happen next directly depends on your behavior.

When and what to say

Another unpleasant model of the development of events is a commercial relationship, when both parents, feeling guilty, begin to bribe a teenager with gifts. He gets what he wants from both, forgetting about the important qualities that he needs to learn - independence, decency, responsibility.

What really can not be done, and what should be done

Many people who are left with children assign too difficult a mission to the child. They feel support, but begin to use it not quite correctly - attempts to "reason" ex-husband or expressing accumulated grievances.

Children understand everything perfectly and listen willingly, especially at the age of 14-15. They are finally considered adults. For you, this result is temporary, and quite serious barriers are laid in their psyche, which are not so easy to deal with, they will have a very lasting effect.

A child can save you, but in a different way. Try to distract yourself by being with him. Do everything exactly the same as before, and maybe even more: go to the theater, cinema together, find a common hobby and learn to forgive the person who hurt you.

Now you are unpleasant, hurt and offended, but these feelings harm only you. Unfortunately or fortunately, we do not know how to spread the rays of hatred to others, but only harm our own psyche.

I highly recommend you read the book Andrey Kurpatov “7 real stories. How to get over a divorce. It does not contain much information about children and relationships with them, but it will help you gain strength, which is now so needed.

See you soon and don't forget to subscribe to the newsletter.

Marriage is a complex union, not always durable. When people cease to understand each other and do not feel unity, the time for divorce comes. In the conflict that has arisen, there are two guilty parties, however, children often act as the third, which greatly affects the psyche. Children are frightened by divorce with understatement, misunderstanding, impending separation and fear of the unknown. To avoid such thoughts and minimize the damaging effects of divorce, it is important to let them know before strangers do.

You should not drag out the conversation about divorce to the last, feeding stories that one of the parents wants to live with friends, has to leave for work, visit relatives, etc. Both mom and dad should have a conversation at the same time in order to avoid the ambiguity of the story. This will help ensure that children after the divorce will feel equally loved by both parents.

It is important not to throw the blame on one partner. The child is not ready to admit that one of the close people is worse, but, not believing, will take the opposite side.

The approach to the conversation is different depending on the age. With a small difference in years, you can bring the children together: they can find support in each other. If they differ greatly in age, then it is better to talk to them separately because of the different perception of the reality of what is happening. How to tell a child about a divorce, help to survive the psychological separation of parents and not injure?

Senior

From teenagers it is better not to withhold information about the upcoming changes, postponing the conversation for a convenient occasion, but to explain the situation in detail. They observe, listen, analyze what is happening in the family. If you don't wait too long, they will figure it out on their own and start looking for reasons why you don't speak up. Teenagers are more likely to feel guilty if adults refuse to initiate them.

It is important to remember that older children are conscious minds. The excuse “did not agree in character” will not suit them - normal explanations will be required. It is worth preparing answers to the questions that will be asked, as soon as the thought of divorce settles in the child's head. And you have to answer.

Need to explain:

further place of residence of mother, father, children;
with whom the baby will remain;
will be able to communicate with the other parent and how;
what changes in life will occur in the future.

These are standard questions, but children may not ask them out loud. It is important to anticipate desire and provide the necessary information - this will relieve ignorance, help calm down and weaken the negative impact of divorce in the future.

If there are kids in the family, you should ask teenagers not to educate the younger ones ahead of time.

junior

With babies, things are different. You should not announce a divorce in advance and explain why it happened. They have a different perception of time: a week can seem like a month. Children will continue to amuse themselves with the possible reconciliation of their parents. Instilling false hope, which will soon be lost, will only complicate the awareness of the loss. Psychologists advise telling young family members about a divorce two days in advance so that they gradually begin to come to terms with the idea that their parents will now live separately.

Kids definitely do not need to be devoted to the details - they simply will not understand everything, and the answer will not satisfy curiosity. Make it clear that the parents are divorcing each other, not them. The situation can be explained: they were happy together for a long time and now they must look for luck one by one. It is not necessary to say that without mom (dad) it will be better.

Is it worth it to tell the truth, hoping to help get through a divorce?

It is necessary to tell the truth about divorce so that the child fully comprehends the situation, understands why the parents came to the final decision, and, perhaps, stops blaming themselves. Do not lie. This traumatizes the psyche of the child. Withholding means distrust on the part of adults. Parents, on the contrary, in this situation, need to provide psychological assistance. Children need to be shown that they are always loved by both parents.

However, information must be given in doses. You should not throw out details about who and what did the irreparable, why the spouses cannot reconcile. The child does not want to see parents as bad, so do not sort things out in the presence of children, loud scandals with breaking dishes and slamming the door are especially unacceptable.

Information is communicated briefly and clearly. It is important that you answer each question. If you can't do it now, say that you will definitely look for the answer (and you will, not just use a phrase as an excuse).

How to help kids get over a divorce

Toddlers experience family breakup in a unique way. Some people think that excellent studies, impeccable behavior will change the decision of parents to dissolve a marriage. It is worth talking and explaining to the children: the reason for the divorce was not his misdeeds.

Ignoring a conversation on a “sore topic” will entail a continuation of the desire for a non-existent ideal, constant oppression by the failure to achieve the goal. This leads to chronic depression, shatters an already unstable psyche, and with age results in bad habits: alcoholism, drug addiction. Often a parent's divorce can lead a minor teenager to seek "street authority".

If you look at the breakup of a family through the eyes of children, it scares them with the coming changes, when it is not clear what to expect next, but it is clear that it will not be the same as before, that life will change. They are tormented by anxiety, their behavior becomes unstable, nervous. It is important to explain to the child what his future will be, and the fear of the unknown will disappear.

During a divorce, children need more attention, and often mom and dad are busy dissolving a marriage and instead of two parents there is no one left in difficult times. Try to spend more time with the kids during the divorce period so that they do not feel abandoned, but do not involve them in solving the divorce problems. The child is not morally ready to participate in the destruction of the family.

How do children feel after their parents divorce?

Do not hope that they will easily survive the collapse of the family. It's like suddenly switching from one mode of life to another. They feel lonely, so you should pay more attention to them.

It is important to let emotions develop so that the children survive the divorce, and not just ignore what is happening, expecting that the parents will soon reconcile. We need to listen to fears, help to cope with them.

At first, it is worth trying to spend a lot of time with the whole family so that the transition to the separation of father and mother becomes less painful.

Parenting Mistakes

The dissolution of a marriage causes suffering for all family members. It is necessary to try to keep emotions in a fist and not throw out the accumulated negativity on the child.

In order not to injure the child's psyche, it is necessary to strive to exclude:

open quarrels;
communication through the child;
attempts to force mending broken relationships;
ignoring feelings and fears.

Teenagers, and toddlers, are not ready to take part in the conflict of their parents. There is no need to drag them into disputes, making the latter an object of division. The decision to divorce is up to you!

How to communicate with a child after a divorce

You can not deprive children of the attention of the parent. They love both and feel complete when both mom and dad are present in life.

It is important not to make young spies out of teenagers and toddlers. You can not try through them to scout out information about how the former spouse is doing now.

You should not scold the other parent in front of the child, condemn his actions. Avoiding communication is also not an option. This gives a sense of abandonment. Love and attention are important all the time, not on holidays.

Is it worth it to talk with a child about a divorce and at what age to do it

There should not be any doubts: it is necessary to talk.
A child is a family member who has the right to know everything that happens in it, and this cannot be brushed aside.
Children will someday find out about it anyway, and silence will lead to unwanted questions and distrust, and will form feelings of false shame for an incomplete family in a fragile psyche.
Approximately from the age of 3, it is already possible to talk with a child on such serious topics. It is enough for a preschooler to inform that dad will live separately, but often come to visit.
The older and more mature the children, the more you can tell them, but you should not delve into the details of who fell out of love, cheated, abandoned. However, if the reasons for the divorce were the personal circumstances of one of the parents: alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling or something else, then it would be foolish to artificially bypass this in a conversation.
If the child is very small, then the conversation is postponed until the moment when he has the first questions about dad.

You can talk only in case of a firm decision to leave. It is not necessary to disturb the child in vain if there is doubt.
You need to carefully consider your argument and try to give clear arguments.
You should also choose a certain tactic of conversation: it is better to talk about divorce as a transient phenomenon, try to reduce its importance in the life of a child, focus on the future and on the positive aspects that are possible as a result of parting.
Before the conversation, you should put your own emotions in order, because the mood of adults will be transmitted to their child. Moreover, children intuitively experience anxiety if something is wrong in the family.

Some psychologists are inclined to believe that only mother should talk. However, it will be much better if both parents conduct the conversation. Then the child will not have to listen to two different versions of the current problem.

Otherwise, it is necessary to say about the separation to that family member with whom the child has the most trusting relationship. By the way, it can be a grandmother or another relative. But even in this version, the presence of mom and dad is mandatory.

If the situation is such that one of the parents avoids talking, then the second one needs to talk on their own. After that, it is imperative to inform the adult who was not present about how the conversation went, what words and reasons were voiced.

For a conversation, you should choose a day when no one and nothing will distract the conversation. Make it better at home.

Why is it so important? Because the news can cause tears, a quarrel, a tantrum, and perhaps the child will need to retire to think about the unpleasant news. Therefore, the atmosphere should be the most familiar and familiar, and the rest of the day is free from obligatory affairs and meetings.

What to talk about

During a conversation, it is better to shift the topic towards the future arrangement of the life of a new family. With whom and where the child will live, how often he will be able to see the departed parent, how relations with other relatives will develop, whether a new member will appear in the family (stepfather or stepmother). All this should definitely be discussed in order to remove anxiety for the future.

Do not touch the emotional side of the problem. Expressing regret about what happened is enough.

It is correct if the conversation takes place before the departure of the spouses. But at the same time, it is necessary to make it clear to the child that the decision is final and no one can already influence him. It is better if he survives an unpleasant moment once than lives with unfulfilled hopes.

In no case should parents quarrel, make claims to each other in front of the child and set him up against dad / mom, as well as against other relatives. For a child, this is very painful, because the child still continues to love everyone.

As a rule, after a divorce in Russia, the child stays with his mother. If a new mother-child family is being formed, then the mother should not try to replace the father and be too strict with the child. Also, do not rush to the other extreme: give gifts and pamper.

Often children do not even ask the question “Why?”, so you should not impose your vision of the situation and the reasons that gave rise to it.

Sometimes adults prefer to remain silent altogether, to pretend that nothing serious has happened, or to delete a parent who has abandoned his family from life: he went on a business trip, died. It is clear that this is a time bomb and the explosion can occur at the most inopportune moment. It is better for a child if his parents are alive, and not cold role models. In addition, the knowledge of the negligence of the father or mother, perhaps in the future, will help to avoid mistakes in their family.

Thus, relying on your intuition, having carefully studied the advice of a psychologist, each person will be able, if necessary, to decide for himself the question of how to tell a child about a divorce. The main thing is not to be afraid and not to miss the moment, because the secrecy of the parents will further exacerbate the problem of the child experiencing the event.