Bad habits of a 7-year-old child. Children's bad habits

Bad habits in children and their varieties. Ways to correct misbehavior in a child. Prevention of the emergence of bad habits in the younger generation.

Varieties of bad habits in children

As life practice shows, any person is not without sin and is subject to certain weaknesses. Bad habits are formed in early childhood and become fixed reflexes over time that can look different.

Visual bad habits in a child

What we ordered, we have. Such witticism ceases to be funny when it comes to the question of how to wean a child from bad habits.

The most unpleasant deviations in the behavior of the younger generation include the following manipulations:

Nose picking. This repulsive behavior in public is quite common among children. It is necessary to get rid of it unequivocally, because even the stardom of Brad Pitt, David Beckham and John Travolta did not save their reputation in the presence of this bad habit.
nail biting. Firstly, similar occupation significantly spoils the cuticle and creates the risk of infection entering the body. Secondly, it is unlikely that anyone will like to watch a person during this action.
Slouch. Children usually hunch over different reasons. Such an established habit can be both a sign of scoliosis and an unwillingness to straighten your shoulders once again.
Increased gesticulation. Overly impulsive children like to wave their arms while talking. This is how they show their temperament, which does not always look aesthetically pleasing.
Lip biting. Some small persons under stress can pinch this organ with their teeth until they bleed. In the future, at the slightest excitement, the child begins to bite his lips constantly.
hair pulling. Thus, the child calms down, turning the usual activity into a bad habit. At the same time, hair becomes greasy, which is problematic especially for girls.
Earlobe twitching. The main gestures of a liar include vocalized stance as well as neck twitching. Therefore, one should get rid of this bad habit so as not to be considered an insincere person and even a liar.
shuffling feet. It usually affects people at a fairly advanced age. However, children also have a similar bad habit that looks ridiculous.
champing. At the same time, the child also squishes when drinking, which does not look quite aesthetically pleasing. During meals, children with such inclinations cause irritation in others.

Patience and only patience will be needed when asking how to deal with bad habits in children. If adults respond to such behavior with aggression, they will only exacerbate the problem.

Behavioral bad habits in children

Visual signs of bad parenting sometimes look innocent against the background of real manifestations of children's inappropriate behavior. Bad habits can be defined as follows:

Tendency to fight. Defending your favorite toy in a fair fight is not a pathology. If such behavior becomes the norm, then parents should think about the problem that has arisen.
fantasy. Young Munchausen is usually not a dangerous person for society. However, everything is good in moderation, because sometimes a child can lie to the detriment of his loved ones. In Sweden, it was a sensational case when a fantasy-filled teenager sued his parents for a brutal beating that never happened.
provocation. Very often, children clearly see the emerging conflict between parents. In this case, manipulation by the warring parties may come into play. With the stability of such disagreements, the young provocateur in the future will become a specialist in influencing the human psyche for his own selfish purposes.
Appropriation of other people's things. At the same time, children do not consider themselves thieves, but are firmly convinced that they are right. Such a habit is clearly an asocial manifestation of the behavior of a small personality that is not controlled by parents.
Masturbation. In babies, it is usually associated with problems with the genitourinary system, because only in adolescence begins to show sexual interest in the opposite sex.

Many parents are amazed at the fact that in their prosperous family a varmint is growing up. It is necessary to indulge some children's whims, but it is necessary to make it clear to the child that his behavior is always under the strict control of dad and mom.

Ways to deal with bad habits in a child

For any problem, you can find a way out of the situation. Parents should behave as follows so that their child gets rid of any bad habit:

Increasing the child's self-esteem. If you do not love yourself, then it is pointless to demand respect from society. First of all, the kid should be taught the concept of his self-sufficiency. Prevention of bad habits in children means their destruction at the initial stage of pathology formation. It is impossible to raise an egoist in a family, but at the same time it is very dangerous to bring up low self-esteem in your offspring with a tendency to bad habits.
Just Punishment. It is by no means impossible to silently observe the addictions of your child. However, cruelty in the educational process will lead to an aggravation of the problem situation. A bad head does not give rest to the legs. Such a wise saying is suitable when a child has a bad habit. You should take your child to the maximum so that he does not have time for stupid thoughts.
Relaxing massage. If a child sucks his thumb, talks in his sleep, or suffers from sleepwalking (somnambulism), then these bad habits really eliminate with the help of the voiced method. In the evening (after a relaxing bath with chamomile or lavender), he needs to stretch his back muscles and shoulders. At the same time, the movements of an adult should be soft, because when using force, you can injure your child.
Educational games for motor skills. Among the ways to eliminate bad habits in children, the use of this method is quite popular. A child will learn to stop biting his nails and sucking his thumb if you show him a certain exercise. Beans, peas, buckwheat and millet should be placed in canvas bags. If the child has already reached a conscious age, then you can invite him to guess the composition that he feels with his fingers through the fabric.
Unity in education. Dad and mom to avoid the occurrence double standards should demand the same from their child. Bad habits of an asocial nature often occur in those children who have learned to manipulate the minds of their parents. A little fighter or a thief should be reprimanded by both dad and mom so that he understands the wrongness of his behavior. Playing good and bad cop in this case will only exacerbate the problem.
Refusal of cardinal measures of influence. In no case should you, on the advice of the “wise” in terms of education, smear the fingers of a child with bitter means if he sucks them or bites his nails. Firstly, it can adversely affect the condition of the children's stomach. Secondly, as practice shows, this method rarely works.
Useful Association. It is not only with the help of a personal example that it is really possible to fight bad habits in a child. If he has any idol (artist, animation hero, character from computer games), then you should convey to your child the information that the idol does not approve of his fans' bad habits.
funny example. In this case, psychologists recommend introducing the child to the instructive "Bad Advice" by Grigory Oster. During the joint reading of funny and sarcastic poems, it is necessary to explain to your son or daughter the norms of morality and culture of behavior in society.
Emphasis on the virtues of the child. If your child has a bad habit, you should correctly indicate it, while emphasizing positive sides character of a son or daughter. Let them bite their nails, but in terms of reciting poetry, they have no equal. The main thing at the same time is to adhere to the golden mean, so as not to bring up conceits and imagined.
Encouragement of the child. Even a small victory of a small person over his weaknesses should be rewarded. You can invite her to go to her favorite movie or visit a children's cafe. In no case should you pay off with money, because this will form in her mind the instinct of consumerism.
Hygiene training. Masturbation does not always occur due to a disease of the genitourinary system. In some cases, children have increased attention to their intimate area due to elementary neglect. water procedures which leads to itching in the genital area. Sloppiness is also a kind of bad habit, so little dirty ones need to be taught hygiene.
Consultation with a psychologist. With a serious problem in a child, you can not do without the help of a specialist. It is he who will be able to build a schedule of individual sessions with a small patient, using a game technique and cognitive behavioral therapy.

Prevention of bad habits in children

It is better to prevent trouble from the outset than to reap the fruits of your own irresponsibility in the future. Doctors recommend adhering to the following line of conduct when a child has appeared in the family:

breastfeeding. Experts insist on the fact that children who have received mother's milk for a long time usually do not have visual bad habits. Instead of sucking a finger, they intuitively searched for the mother's breast at one time and did not perceive the “dummy”, from which it is then very difficult for almost all parents to wean their child.
Love for a baby. Dad and mom often try to educate their offspring in strictness. To some extent this is the right decision, but no need to go too far. Bad habits often occur in a child who is notorious or frightened by aggression from adults.
Correct pacifier rejection. Some fans of Britney Spears were outraged at the sight of a photo where she was with her three-year-old daughter with this item in her mouth. She explained this fact to her fans by the fact that she gradually weaned the baby from a bad habit and did not injure the child's psyche. The same position is held by David Beckham, Tom Cruise and Sarah Jessica-Parker. At this age, it is best to wean the child from unnecessary habits with the help of affection. Otherwise, the baby will begin to suck his thumb, bite his nails and pull on his earlobes even before adolescence.
Prevention of stressful situations. Sometimes children, during excitement, begin to wind their hair around their fingers, actively gesticulate or shake their heads. Psychologists, after a series of studies, came to the conclusion that such bad habits and their consequences are observed in children who once experienced a strong emotional shock. It is necessary to control your behavior and prevent a showdown between spouses in the presence of a child.
Personal example. It is difficult to scold a teenager who smokes if his parents are prone to such an addiction. It is necessary, by personal example, to show the child the factor that misbehavior may adversely affect his future. Parents should remember the main rules of a positive influence on their children: do not slurp at the table, watch your speech and posture, do not shuffle your feet, and do not show increased gestures.
Work on the rules of etiquette. AT game form it is necessary to convey to the baby information about how to behave in society. You can invite your child to meet an imaginary friend who does everything right. At the same time, one should not be afraid of the development of a split consciousness in a son or daughter, because at this age children tend to fantasize. However, the situation should be controlled so that the baby does not become a professional liar.

How to deal with bad habits in children - look at the video:

The ancient Roman philosopher Cicero once said that habit is second nature. Therefore, conscious parents need to make every effort to correct the behavior of their offspring. Otherwise, their child may become an outcast in society, over which people without bad habits will make fun.

Behind these upbringing costs, in particular, in instilling cultural skills, there is an obvious tendency to an increase in the number of bad habits, when one gives rise to another, and they turn out to be interconnected in complexes. Since the formation of bad habits occurs at a very early age, education, among other things, is also the instillation of good habits. In particular, accuracy, organization, the habit of bringing the work begun to the end, and the struggle literally from the cradle with the emergence of bad habits.

As for the bad habits with which they seek help from a doctor, namely sucking a finger, tongue, lips, tissues (collar, pajama sleeve, corner of a duvet cover, pillowcase, etc.), spinning hair, shaking the head from side to side or beating it against the pillow before falling asleep and in a dream, masturbation, then the causes and mechanisms of their occurrence are more complex. Most often, the above habits occur in a child who was raised from infancy harshly, in a hypersocial type or in a rejection type. He was left alone in bed for a long time. He was weaned early from his mother's breast, but he was also denied a nipple. They rarely picked him up, did not rock him, when he could not fall asleep, he was given little attention, caresses. And all this is the reason for the emergence of bad habits. Often, bad habits arise in a child in connection with an anxious and suspicious upbringing.

A child forgotten in the cradle, feeling a lack of impressions, care, affection, and in connection with this experiencing boredom or fear, seeks compensation, reassurance, distraction in the actions available to him, for example, sucks his finger or pulls his hair, ear, lip, nose, picks navel, manipulates the external genitalia. Gradually, this action is fixed. At first, he resorts to such actions, since his mother is absent. Now the alarmed mother is with him, but he is no longer interested in her. He is busy with himself.

There has been a major restructuring of orientation. Naturally, the child strives for a constant influx of impressions, stimulation from the outside of what contributes to his development. If a mother is nearby, he is satisfied, calm and receives everything he needs - from comfort and affection to developing incentives. But she was gone, and life went on. And he, as it were, returned to the intrauterine state. He consoles and calms himself and seeks sources of impressions in himself, closes in on himself. Now he is used to being alone and his mother, interfering, only hinders him.

Sucking a finger or clothes, picking the navel and other similar actions distract the child from the process of cognition, threaten developmental delay, infantilization. There is a bad habit. It becomes a necessary ritual of self-soothing, distraction from fears, compensation for the lack of attention, affection, communication. A bad habit as a ritual comforts during the day, calms when falling asleep. Biting nails, lips, cheeks, skin on the fingers is also an expression of deep self-doubt, feelings of guilt, as well as a ritual of self-punishment associated with all this. The child gnaws himself until he bleeds and only then is he satisfied. One of my patients, a teenager, said so: "I have to chew my finger until it hurts."

Often a bad habit, expressed in a series of rhythmic movements, is a forced replacement for the need for rhythmic movements, behind which there are important mechanisms of maturation. Rhythmic automatisms of actions contribute to the maturation of the age-appropriate brain biorhythm. For normal development the child needs, for example, a sucking reflex. Such a rhythmic act as breastfeeding is not only an act of feeding. This is a complex set of influences - nutritional, endocrine, psychological and stimulating the development of the brain. Sometimes a fetus sucks its thumb in the womb. There is reason to believe that for some reason the development of systems and organs is delayed in such a fetus. Touching the lips of a three-five-month-old fetus (with a miscarriage) causes him to suck.

The mother's breast is sucked for up to a year, but children who need to prolong stimulation suck it up to a year and a half; those who are deprived of their mother's breast before term suck a nipple or a finger until they are three or four years old, which is normal in such cases. Rhythmic automatisms of actions contribute to the synchronization of the biorhythm of the brain, in its complex restructuring from wakefulness to sleep. Therefore, the child needs motion sickness when falling asleep. Motion sickness soothes even pain. Up to a year, nipple sucking and motion sickness, in my opinion, are physiological and necessary.

Gentle touches of mother's hands, lips and body are provided by nature in the complex mechanisms of the psycho-physiological maturation of the child.

Sucking fingers, tongue, lips, etc. - self-stimulation and after a year is often evidence of a delay in the maturation of certain functional systems in the body. As the equivalent of stimulation, it occurs in touch-deprived children. loving hands mother. The child's attempts to replace the missing stimulation by stroking himself, by touching himself are also understandable. However, these are not the hands of the mother, just as the nipple is not the mother's breast. A child used to soothing, lulling and rocking himself sucks or pulls something, twirls his hair, rubs his genitals or groin, rocks in bed to sleep. All this is self-stimulation, always stretching for years to get the missing natural.

A bad habit, as a ritual of self-soothing, self-consolation, self-encouragement, often takes on complex forms of expression. The child sucks the thumb of his right hand, and twirls his hair with his left, covers his eyes. If the left hand is tied to the body, he stops sucking the right. The integrity of the ritual is broken, and part of it does not bring satisfaction. Experiencing anxiety, they suck their tongue, covering their mouth with the palm of their right hand, pulling the earlobe with their left. These rituals, as well as biting nails, supranail ridges, buccal mucosa, lips, skin on the fingers, licking the lips, the skin around them to redness, sores, are often included in the clinic of obsessive-compulsive disorder or neurasthenia.

Sometimes a habit is formed instantly, being set according to the type of conditioned reflex connection as a replacement for a biological need. One of my patients was weaned at ten months. In order for this act to go smoothly, his parents sent him to his grandmother for two weeks. When he was returned and he saw his mother, he immediately began to suck his tongue. A bad habit was formed before the eyes of adults and entrenched for a long time: the boy sucked his tongue even at the age of 14, when his parents turned to me for help.

Most of all, parents are concerned about children's masturbation. Up to seven years, it is observed in every tenth child. Sometimes, already at six or eight months, the child tightly compresses the hips, not reacting to the environment, his gaze is fixed on one point, his face turns red, drops of sweat appear on his forehead. If the parents try to distract the child or interfere in other ways, he violently protests. After a year, masturbation takes other forms. The kid fidgets in a chair, sits on the potty, squeezes or rubs the blanket between his legs. Sometimes even up to a year the child irritates the genitals with his hand.

A desperate struggle of parents with him begins. Sometimes the nursery educator is also involved in this struggle, and then kindergarten. Adults severely condemn this habit, considering it as evidence of the depravity of the child, his excessive sexuality. However, a child under three years of age is essentially asexual. It has not isolated itself from the environment. It's just for us boy or girl. Think about it - the word "child" is neuter. This has its own meaning. Identification with the male or female gender will occur after three years, in the process of personality formation. A child under three years of age does not know that it irritates the genitals. You know it. For him, the nose, navel, penis are only parts of his body.

A three-year-old understands that his parents are dissatisfied with him, they condemn actions that fall under the definition of "impossible", but he does not know the reasons for their negative assessment. You can’t play with fire - he learned this in cruel experience, you can’t beat your grandmother - he born human, and, with the right upbringing, he understands: grandmother hurts. However, a three-year-old cannot understand why picking his nose is perceived relatively calmly, and the same fingers in the groin area cause anger in parents. After three or four years, the child begins to realize that these actions are especially reprehensible in the eyes of adults, but he is no longer able to refuse them.

Habit is habit. The child begins to hide, hide masturbation. The mother does not sleep, the daughter watches, the daughter does not sleep - the mother watches. The child pretends to fall asleep, while he waits for his parents to fall asleep. He seeks to be satisfied by stepping over the ban, and the ban will not lead to anything good. The feeling of guilt, depravity, inferiority flourishes on the basis of excessive attention of parents, in general, to a harmless act. As a result, the child seeks solitude. The feeling of inferiority, guilt leads to isolation.

Masturbation has a number of its specific causes: diseases of the external genitalia, accompanied by discharge, itching, pinworms, irritating the perineum; hem of panties, pajamas, panties; the habit of laying a blanket between the legs, fidgeting in a chair; affectionate touches to the tummy below the navel, to the buttocks, etc. But whatever the reasons for onanism, in children it is not so much sexuality (children touching their genitals, as an interest in them, are part of normal psychosexual development), but the same ordinary bad habit, like thumb sucking, nothing more.

Only in the case of grossly expressed onanism in a preschooler, when a girl tries to penetrate the vagina with a finger or an object, one should contact a child psychiatrist, since it is possible, in this case, this may be the result of limited brain damage during childbirth. In all other cases, do not leave a child who has the habit of masturbation alone in bed if he does not fall asleep immediately, but try to help him fall asleep with a fairy tale, persuasion or lift him out of bed. The child should not play in bed. Someone once recommended keeping a sick child in bed. Why? Who lies when he can sit, walk, will be sick longer. The bed in such cases becomes a bed for the birth of bad habits. If necessary, wrap the child's neck, dress him warmly, but freely, and let him sit, walk, play, even if he is sick.

Don't let your child sit on the potty for too long. Avoid constipation - this often contributes to the appearance of onanism. Remove pinworms immediately if your child has any. Make sure that the child does not take a walk and does not delay the act of urination. Such a delay leads to tension in the penis, a feeling of heaviness in the lower abdomen and, as a result, to onanism. Carefully monitor the hygiene of the perineum and legs so that there is no itching. It is better if the baby sleeps in a shirt to toe, and not in pajamas. The child should not wear the clothes from which he grew up, so that the scars do not cut into the body, the clothes do not press or squeeze. Do not abuse chocolate, spicy and spicy foods.

It is not recommended to swing the baby astride the knee; they do not put him on his neck if he is not tired; kissing, he is not strangled in an embrace. They distract from attempts of onanism, without focusing the child's attention on him, interesting activities. Courses of soothing medicinal herbs recommended by a doctor are useful. Until the child falls asleep, his behavior in bed is controlled. He should hold his handles over the blanket, as well as a free handle if he sleeps on his side. Bad habits, knowing the causes of their occurrence, are easier to prevent than eliminate.

If a bad habit takes place, parents do not start a fight with the baby, but fight with his habit. They do not insist on refusing it, a straightforward attack only irritates, leads to discord with the child and his neuroticism. Unpromising, for example, is an attempt to wean sucking a finger by smearing it with mustard. Following this path, it is just right to pour cold water on the masturbator (and they do it) or connect the enuretic sufferer to a current source so that he will be hit as soon as the urine closes the mains. All this is unacceptable cruelty towards a child. If this helps, the child will be intimidated, shocked, and the psychological consequences will be worse than a "cured" bad habit.

A child with a bad habit does not require an honest word that he will refuse it. He gives his word of honor, but is forced to break it, as he is unable to give up the habit. The second bad habit comes - breaking the word of honor. A child is not punished for a bad habit. He is not to blame for her. Punishment only exacerbates the situation. The kid will begin to resort to a bad habit to comfort himself after punishment, and becomes even more withdrawn into himself, suffering from a misunderstanding of his experiences, feeling guilty and even more insecure.

A bad habit is eliminated patiently, spending as much time on overcoming it as it was fixed. It began with a lack of attention to the child, and now your attention is especially needed to eliminate it. The child closed up, went into himself - his parents are with him, he is carried away by interesting games, activities. It focuses on playing with children as much as possible. If he is alone, then he must be busy with something. He should not have time for a bad habit. The struggle with a bad habit is always a struggle with self-doubt, anxiety, pessimism.

There are also private recommendations. When biting nails, cut them short. They are allowed to gnaw on the tip of the pen with which the child writes, or on an object in his hands, but always clean. It is advised to rub palm against palm when there is an impulse to nail biting. They encourage the child to fight this habit on their own, explaining its harm and pointing out the unaesthetic appearance of fingers with bitten nails, and teach self-control. They encourage him, saying: "You will definitely cope with this, do not be upset." He is actively helped in difficult situations, because with them they especially often resort to a bad habit. And they remember: painfully insecure people bite their nails, and overcoming uncertainty is the main thing. Those who have fallen into a depression bite their nails, and such a child is stimulated and encouraged.

When sucking a finger, things - the recommendations are the same, but since this is more often resorted to before going to bed, then, as with swinging before falling asleep and in a dream, rhythmic games, dancing, jumping rope are recommended shortly before sleep (in eradicating other bad habits Skipping rope for 10-15 minutes before going to bed is required). It is useful, having attached a swing to the lintel or jamb of the door, to shake the child several times a day for 10-15 minutes; buy a rocking horse for him. When the child falls asleep, it is recommended to turn on quiet rhythmic music.

Barring some awkward situations in society, such a habit is a natural reaction of a maturing crumb to the fact that the world is constantly changing. We should not forget about the richest children's imagination. It is difficult for kids to immediately adapt to an adult and incomprehensible world for them in many ways, so they create a completely comfortable place for themselves - an imaginary world. If adults recognize and in some way encourage such a world of their child, they thereby feed his activity towards creation and creation, which is already very good. And situations when a beloved "friend" is lost or sent to the laundry can be stressful for the baby. But there is a way out of this situation. For parents, this is a great opportunity to explain to the child that sometimes you need to do without the usual things.

Most often, games with imaginary friends in young children do not go beyond the norm, therefore, do not require medical intervention. However, if parents began to notice that every time, instead of meeting with real friends, the baby decides to stay at home to play with invented comrades, then you need to contact a specialist.

Potty and diaper games

A small child, who was born not so long ago and is now actively exploring the world, is interested in literally everything. Sometimes even “vile” situations at first glance happen. The child relieved his need in a diaper, and then pulled it off, removed the contents and actively sculpts, draws on the walls or even tastes feces.

Children a little older can carry out similar manipulations with the contents of the pot if the mother was distracted and did not take it out in time. Adults often give in to panic, screams and bouts of disgust about this, but in fact there is no reason to worry. For a baby, feces are new material for games. He was part of his body, therefore he does not pose a threat to the child (from the position of himself).

Parents just need to make feces less fun. To discourage a child from sculpting his own excrement, it is necessary to develop and satisfy his tactile needs. For this, children's plasticine or dough (special from the store or homemade for pies) is great, kinetic sand, and even building castles out of mud - all this will completely saturate the tactile needs of the child. Other nuances are a matter of time and technique of parents. You will need to monitor the potty more often, and fasten the diaper tighter (you can use at least scotch tape 🙂) or tuck it inside the clothes.

The strange tastes of children

It often happens that small children eat everything that causes a feeling of surprise and misunderstanding in an adult. It can be a ball of dust and wool, a piece of chalk, cat litter, pebbles on the street, contact lenses, inedible plants and other garbage.

Parents don't have to worry. The fact is that the child uses his mouth as an important tool for exploring the world around him. Therefore, often what cannot be eaten will at least be licked by a child. Toddlers often bite, lick or suck on something - for early age this is the norm. Any adult can remember having the tip of a pen or pencil eraser in their mouth. But at the same time, it is difficult for an adult to admit that eating wool is normal.

It is important to pay attention to the severity of the manifestation of the habit in the crumbs and its frequency. If the child very often eats dirt or lint from the carpet, of course, you need to see a doctor.

Nose picking

Of course, this is not very pleasant to look at. But you have to admit: the nostrils are especially interesting openings to study, especially in childhood. The key skill in such a situation is to keep calm time after time and offer to use the handkerchief in the nursery or go to the bathroom, because "no one here likes to watch this."

Other strange habits

It also happens that children confuse day with night, and heat with cold. Sometimes they demand to wear overalls on them in the hot season, and sometimes they prefer to run around the apartment naked. Other babies like to pretend to be a dog or a cat, barking or meowing merrily, running around on all fours, demanding a bowl and licking their faces. Parents should not be afraid of the strangeness of the child. This is a natural stage of development, which involves awareness of the surrounding world and one's place in it. This category is normal as long as it does not interfere with life. You just need to explain when you can be a dog, and when not.

Adults will only need patience, this stage will soon pass. In the meantime, you can let the baby show plenty of imagination. Such children often develop abilities for theatrical art later. To maintain the “fighting spirit”, parents can make a short video of the strange addictions of the “puppy”, which requires attention, jumps and barks around the apartment. Many years later, this funny video will be very cool to show at the wedding of such a bully.

We also read:

Bad habits – School of Dr. Komarovsky

Sucking thumb, nail biting, curling hair around your finger... Fiddling in a chair, picking your nose, slouching or gesticulating... Most of these habits are not dangerous, but the bad news is that over time, others will laugh at the child. And if it becomes an adult habit, it can be a serious hindrance in life.

The director of a large company should not pick his nose at a meeting. The President of Georgia should hardly chew his tie even in a difficult situation...

If your child has one or two bad habits, and they are not very pronounced, this means that you have a normal child, and you are excellent parents. Of course you will slowly be your child get rid of these habits, accustom to more adequate behavior, and you can be sure: in a month, in a year or several years, all these habits will disappear from your child. Everything is fine!

Another thing is when your child has a lot of bad habits, if one leaves, another one comes to replace it, and the situation somehow does not improve with age - this situation is more difficult. Diagnosis: you have neglected a child, and it is difficult to call you good parents. Your child's bad habits are a signal that not everything is good in your family and in your child's life, and a hint to you that you and your child need to be taken care of.

You can, of course, not do it, just worry and swear at the child - but this means that over time, your child will also have problem behavior in addition to bad habits. And sometimes - and deviant, and asocial. Now he sucks his thumb, and in 10-15 years he will suck beer. Now he drags everything into his mouth, and after some time he will drag things from home ... If you don’t take care of your child and yourself, the district police officer will tell you that teenagers should not have drugs. Yes? Do you like these perspectives? So, it's time to take care of the baby.

And the third time we emphasize: to take care of a child means to take care of yourself.

It's just that I have some kind of abnormal, - the mother has been complaining for several minutes, looking angrily at the roaring baby. - Three years old that week, and he sucks his thumb like a little one. How much I told him, how much I explained to him ... He understands everything, but does it to spite me. No wonder I didn't want to have children. Only troubles and misunderstandings.

Such a mother may complain for at least a few more hours, but her last two phrases are enough to reveal the cause of the child's obsessive habit. He is unwanted and unloved - and this is the main trigger. Any kid intuitively feels even a veiled dislike. What if there is a clear rejection? The child feels bad, and thumb sucking naturally calms him.

Bad habits often appear where the child is bad. Lack of affection and warmth when communicating with him, quarrels of parents, their conflicts, divorces, leaving the baby to himself. However, there are other reasons, more of a medical nature. For example, thumb sucking is more often demonstrated by children weakened by diseases, children with frequent colds, helminthic infestations, intestinal infections and neuropathy. With parental alcoholism, minimal brain failure may be a prerequisite for this habit.

Children can suck not only a finger, but also a corner of a blanket, as well as other things that fall under the arm, however, usually the same things. Simultaneously with thumb sucking, many babies also make some other obsessive movements (stroking their ears, picking their nose, sniffing, licking their lips, etc.). Very often these movements are fixed by the type of formation of conditioned reflexes. For example, a runny nose that repeats several times a year turns into the habit of “sniffing”, and often dry lips - to licking them. How older child, the more clearly the moment of imitation.

The habit of nail biting usually appears later, starting at 4-5 years of age. Nails "themselves" bite and "themselves" bite, children do not even know "when". And “when” is either excitement, or excitement that brings anxiety. Talking, speaking, waiting, watching a movie - everything that disturbs a child can be accompanied by nail biting, especially in cases where the baby is ambitious, and mom and dad want to see him as a “wunderkind”, overloading his intellect. And this increases the nervous tension of the child, turning everything into a vicious circle. On the one hand, parents are outraged by the “bad” habit of the preschooler and demand its termination, on the other hand, they strengthen it with their demands. Of course, this is not the case.

And what will be the case? Fighting bad habits is the same as fighting your own shadow if it seems stooped to you. It is not necessary to fight with a stooped shadow, but to straighten yourself. If you put your life in order and become good parent- bad habits will disappear almost by themselves. That is the first thing to take care of. The child needs your peace of mind, goodwill, fun games together, praise and at the same time teaching him to listen to you. There are many special articles on Psychologos about this, start slowly rebuilding your life, and the child will be a sensitive indicator of how things are going for you.

However, you can suggest the simplest things for individual bad habits.

Pulling hair? Don’t scare the child “Why are you pulling your hair, you’ll be completely bald soon!”, no, on the contrary, reassure: “Pulling your hair is not harmful, it just hurts you. comb your hair more often, then you'll get smarter faster, and it's more pleasant than pulling yourself. Try it!"

If he sucks his fingers - bandaging his fingers is a bad idea, smearing them with unpleasant substances - you can try, but it also rarely helps. Creative parents can come up with some exciting role-playing game, for example, to a hairdresser, but where only children with beautiful nails and not with wet fingers. There were cases when the paradoxical task helped: "Suck your fingers on purpose! I can do it with you. Five minutes of sucking - start!", But such a task can only help if it sounds not like a punishment, but like a help in that the child begins to notice this action.

Be sure to read the excellent excerpt from Milton Erickson, where he helped the child, inspiring him with self-confidence - and at the same time giving the installation that he would soon stop sucking his fingers.

Bites nails - you need to help in your studies so that the child is self-confident. It is useful to cheer him up more often and inspire self-confidence. By the way, it helps to exclude exciting events for a while, such as watching exciting films and reading scary tales. There are two meanings - and the child should not be overexcited, and create a situation where nail biting turns out to be a bad habit for a child. Really, because of some nails to deprive yourself of cool movies? No, you can try!

And try this: if a child has a bad habit of biting his feet or twisting his hair around his fingers, react to this not with an unhappy or displeased face, but with a cheerful demand: "Let's make the Sun! Smile!". If a child begins to smile brightly at the moment of biting his nails or pulling out his hair, it turns out that it often really helps miraculously!

Like this. Everything slowly - it will work!