How to overcome a difficult period in life. Feel free to ask people for help. How to survive a difficult period in life
How to survive a difficult period in life
Each of us has a difficult period in life: when everything is bad, when hands drop, when problems pile up all at once. As if the battery inside you is dead, the resource has dried up, and each step is given with difficulty.
First, you tell yourself not to fall out of the pace, schedule, and lifestyle that you set in good condition. When this no longer helps, you try to stir yourself up and force yourself to move according to the plan.
But when the forces are no longer enough even for this, you begin to finish yourself off with reproaches for the untimely crisis, your own worthlessness and impotence. And this is a direct path to prolonged depression. How to survive a difficult period, if it did come?
Try not to dwell on the negative
How to deal with such a situation? First of all, don't dwell on the negative. Try to remember the positive moments from your life, distract yourself with something, be kinder to others. This will help you tune in to another wave and move on.
Tell others what happened
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It is not necessary to talk about what happened to you to everyone you meet and cross. There is an opportunity - go to an appointment with a psychologist or psychotherapist. No - take a notebook or a sheet of paper and write everything down. Describe not only events, but also what you feel. If the situation has caused you a lot of stress, if you are in pain, admit it.
Make such notes many times if necessary. And reread it every time. Gradually, you will feel that mental turmoil resolves, and the pain goes away.
Feel free to ask people for help
Don't turn down support if it's offered to you.
It is not necessary to perform an act of heroism, coping with life's difficulties alone. This can only exacerbate the situation.
Get rid of attachment
We are often oppressed by feelings because of people or things that we have lost or are afraid of. We cling to outdated relationships and cannot start new ones. That is why such an important place in our lives is occupied by people who have passed away, thoughts about lost work, money, home - in a word, something that cannot be returned.
But, believe me, in fact, it may not be so important at all! Why regret something that is already lost or leaving your life? It's better to go for something new.
Get rid of guilt
Very often we begin to blame ourselves for making mistakes and as a result everything ended so badly. Or someone around us is deliberately trying to make us feel guilty.
Even if you realize that you are really guilty, be sure to try to forgive yourself. Stop focusing on your mistakes, it will not help improve the situation.
Don't sit back
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If something goes wrong, there is no point in feeling sorry for yourself. We need to look for a way out of the situation. The main thing is not to sit idly by. Do at least something, even if you are not sure of a positive result.
Is someone seriously ill? Look for good doctor. Got fired? Look for a new place. No money? Look for new sources of income or where you can borrow.
Have you been thrown? Don't be afraid to make new friends and relationships!
Don't worry if you don't get it right the first time. Keep acting, and sooner or later the situation will move forward.
Charge your batteries
Find access to a resource, to those things, activities and people that help you recover.
If you need a two-hour conversation with a friend, speak up. If you want to watch movies, read books or just sleep - allow yourself this.
If you do not want to see anyone and talk to anyone, lock the door and turn off the phone. Give yourself time for this, because it's important.
Learn a life lesson from your situation
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Any crisis or difficult stage always teaches us something. You must listen to the inner voice and understand what needs to be changed in yourself.
Perhaps you need to get rid of some character traits or change your behavior. Maybe you should change your priorities.
Remember, difficulties in life are always given for a purpose.
Believe that the bad will pass
Nothing is eternal in this life. Sooner or later everything will settle down, the situation will change one way or another, at least it will no longer look so hopeless. Perhaps you just need to wait out this unfavorable period.
Through failure lies let to success
Only thanks to the blows of fate and difficulties, we begin to move and develop.
Only when we are hurt or scared, we begin to do something.
If everything is good, then we stop in development, we don’t need anything, we don’t want to go forward and we begin to regress.
Engage in self-development.
Difficult stage in life best time for self-development and growth. It is during a difficult period of life that people usually have time and motivation to engage in personal growth and move forward.
managerDuring the period of internal upsurge, life is easy and with inspiration. You want to communicate, work, make plans. Energy is in full swing, you are full of energy and ready to move mountains. But when a period of recession comes, even ordinary current affairs take a lot of strength. It’s as if the battery inside you has run out, the resource has dried up, and each step is given with difficulty ...
First you yourself persuade not fall out of the pace, schedule and lifestyle that is set in good condition. When this no longer helps, you try to stir yourself up and forcibly force move according to plan. But when the forces are no longer enough even for this, it remains only to finish off with reproaches for the untimely crisis, their own worthlessness and impotence ... And this is a direct path to a protracted depression.
How to survive a difficult period, if it did come?
1. Switch to economy mode. Yes, you have plans, there are goals and responsibilities that have not been canceled by anyone. But at the moment you still do not have the necessary resource to continue at the same pace. Therefore, cross off the schedule, simplify and transfer everything that is possible. Save energy, don't waste it on things you can do without today.
2. Charge your batteries. This is now the main task. Find access to a resource, to those things, activities and people that help you recover. If you need a two-hour conversation with a friend, speak up. If you want to watch movies, read books or just sleep - allow yourself this. If you do not want to see anyone and talk to anyone, lock the door and turn off the phone. Give yourself time for this, because it's important.
3. Stop kicking and sawing yourself. During such periods, it is like beating an unconscious person. All the same, he will not get up and run cheerfully and cheerfully. You will only beat off the kidneys and complicate the rehabilitation period. Guilt for missed opportunities and frustrated plans eats up a lot of energy, and you need it to recover.
4. Do not make plans and do not make important decisions. This is not the best time for self-determination on important issues. If at the moment you do not know what to do with work / relationships / your own life - allow yourself this dont know. Bye.
Accept your current state. It is still there, and it will have to be experienced. Treat it philosophically, without exacerbating or denying it. Just stay in it, watch it change.
“Everything passes, this too will pass,” said the sage. And it is true. The main thing is not to prevent this from passing through you and leaving, giving way to a new state and a new stage in life.
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There are situations in life that bring us to despair, it seems that everything is destroyed and lost. When failures begin to haunt us with a heavy chain, one after another, the world around us ceases to please, and we live in one hope that a “bright streak” will suddenly come. Of course, believing in a miracle is wonderful. Sit and wait, like Emelya on the stove, when you have a “magic Pike” that fulfills wishes. But "Pike" is not enough for everyone. Therefore, you have to deal with a difficult situation yourself.
Firstly, if a difficult situation has already begun, then you should not “wring your hands” and suffer. Try to accept it as inevitable. This is just a new stage in your life and, perhaps, in the future it will change your life for the better. One has only to find the right way out of the situation. If something is destroyed in your life, then something new will have to be created in the vacant place.
Secondly, this is another lesson that fate teaches you. Draw the appropriate conclusions. Do "bug fixes". No need to self-flagellate, just think about what wrong action led to this situation. Try to learn the "lesson" and not repeat the mistakes.
Third, find the best ways to solve the problem. Exactly this difficult task. But there are no hopeless situations. Remember: "everything passes, this too shall pass." No matter how difficult it is, life does not stand still. After all, something unpleasant happened to you before, but it passed!
But of course, it’s better not to let it take its course, and not to wait for it to “dissolve itself”. Any problems require action to be resolved as soon as possible. Even if not quite correct, but actions.
If this is a problem in a relationship with a loved one, then you can try to fix it, or just try to survive the painful period of parting.
Financial problems: "if a person has little money, then he is not busy with what society needs." Consider changing jobs?
Health: Watch what you eat. Do exercise, yoga. Read, look for methods of treatment. For example, Professor Amosov, considered running as a cure for all diseases.
Children: try to understand them, remember that every child is a person who does not have to be like you! Change your attitude towards them, get closer, make friends with your children as peers, and perhaps the problem will be solved.
Relations in the team: read D. Carnegie, other literature on the psychology of relationships, change your attitude towards the team, or just change the team.
Family life: here advice can only be given in relation to each specific situation. But good relationships in the family are based on mutual respect and love, and love between husband and wife is either there or it is not. If you love and are loved, then everything can be fixed. If you don't know how, contact a psychologist.
You will say that everything is always easy in words, but it is difficult to fix the situation. Yes, but only you can fix your situation, and it’s pointless to wait for help from a goldfish. Most importantly, always remember: "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger."
It happens that everything in life goes upside down: you lose your job, your family collapses, all your savings “burn out” in the bank, a fire destroys the house with all the furnishings ... For most people, this becomes the strongest stress, and sometimes we are not able to cope with the situation. How to behave correctly in order to minimize negative consequences?
Panic and complaining won't change anything.
Many in a difficult life situation begin to panic or complain about their fate.… But what does it give us, by and large? Nothing ! To change a difficult life situation for the better, it is necessary to take action. Try to fix everything, if you can’t do it on your own, ask others for help. As the saying goes, ask and it will be given to you, knock and it will be opened to you...
All troubles are temporary.
When troubles happen in our life, we often think that this bad thing will last forever. In fact, this does not happen: sooner or later the wound will heal, events will take their course ... You just need to be patient and wait. Of course, by no means inactive, because water does not flow under a lying stone ... Often repeat the words written on the tablets of King Solomon: "This too shall pass."
Consider a difficult life situation primarily as an opportunity for development.
Perhaps it's time for you to change direction, and the circumstances are forcing you to do this, otherwise you would have remained in place ... Try to learn from your failure and start looking for a new way out of a difficult life situation which will allow you to move forward. Sooner or later you will be able to get your life back on track, only it will flow on a different track.
Learn to "let go" of the situation.
We often worry that we cannot fully control our lives and influence events. These experiences take a lot of energy that could be used for useful activities. You must accept the fact that not everything depends solely on you. Therefore, at some point it is better to “let go” of the situation and let events take their course, surrendering to the flow of life ... Anyway, what should happen will happen to you, but what is not destined to happen will not. Listen to your inner voice and be philosophical about it.
Accept the fact that in order to change a difficult life situation, you will have to sacrifice something.
Sometimes, in order to achieve something, you have to go beyond your comfort zone, give up your usual behavior and lifestyle ... For example, you have to give up your usual food or learn to get up early in the morning, work more than you are used to, learn to coexist with strangers for you people...
Maybe you will be ridiculed or even left alone for a while ... But if you understand that this is necessary in order to achieve your goal, then you must come to terms with these sacrifices.
Do not try to adapt to others if you are not sure that you need it.
Be independent of other people's opinions and other people's views. If someone doesn't like the way you behave and what you do, that's their problem, not yours. Your right is to reckon with others or not. If you believe that this will improve your life, then you can meet the person halfway. But if, having adjusted to his requirements only because it is convenient for him, you stop being yourself and feel unhappy, then it is hardly worth doing.
Don't let negative situations slow you down.
It happens, having experienced difficulties, in the future we try to "insure" against them. Having experienced an unhappy love, we renounce feelings for someone else. We stop looking for a well-paid job or doing business, because one day we were “thrown” great ... As a result, we turn into a kind of Chekhov's “man in a case”.
However, it should be remembered that "what does not kill us makes us stronger." We need to be able to "detach ourselves" from the past negative experience, although it is impossible to refuse it - because it gives us the strength to overcome new obstacles.
Do not regret what you have lost, cherish what you have preserved.
If you have already lost it forever - money, property, relationships, etc., then there is simply no point in regretting it. Try to evaluate the "assets" that are available. It can be your life experience, knowledge and skills, and finally, your previous achievements. Use this "baggage" to move on and overcome difficult life situations.
