If the child does not sit on the potty. The child does not want to use the potty! What to do? There are several forms of play

The child does not want to sit on the potty - this problem worries all parents, as well as the possibility of resolving such a situation. Why does a child refuse to fulfill a small and a large need for a potty? At what age should a child move from diapers to a conscious trip to the toilet? What to do if the baby even after a year actively resists, throws tantrums with tears and screams? In any case, you need to be patient and remain calm. So let's try to calm down.

Age

The older the child becomes, the more often parents offer him to sit on the potty to pee or poop. When can we assume that the baby is ready to join the world of adults in this way?

As for age, it's a very personal thing. Someone, perhaps, will learn to poop on a potty up to a year, while others may oppose the introduction of such an innovation even in a year and a half, or simply sit on it, and then do their business in diapers. But the attempt is not torture, and parents can start to seat the child on the potty when he is already sitting well and confidently.

But before embarking on this important event, you need to try to assess the situation objectively. It goes without saying that for every mom and every dad, his child is the best, smartest and most understanding. At the same time, sometimes common sense can simply remain silent and turn a blind eye to the most ordinary physiology.

And in babies, the physiological characteristics are such that up to a year and a half, small children cannot control such a thing as the fullness of the intestines and bladder. Simply put, until this age, the child will write and poop not when he was put on the pot, but when he wanted to pee or poop. Where inspiration strikes, everything will happen there. If the parents managed to take off his clothes and put him on the potty, this is wonderful, but in the case of a very small child, such random luck will not do the weather: the baby still does not have a clear causal relationship, and he does not understand what this thing has to do with it on which he sits. Therefore, the only benefit in this case is saving on diapers or on washing soiled children's clothes.

But the situation changes dramatically after the child reaches the age of two years. At two years old, the crumbs are already developing some skills and abilities that give reason to be optimistic about getting used to the toilet on the potty. The child may:

walk confidently;
bend over without losing balance;
squat, and then get up without assistance;
bending down, pick up toys and other objects from the floor, and then put them in their place;
understand what adults are talking about (although a child's personal vocabulary at two years old may not be that great);
understand what is asked of him, the motivation of the actions of parents - even at the most primitive level;
do not write or poop during daytime sleep;
stay dry throughout the day for two hours in a row;
experience discomfort from written down or pumped up clothes, and express this with facial expressions, movements, some sounds or words;
somehow let adults know that he wants to go to the toilet - each child has his own “signal system” for this case: gestures, sounds, actions;
work out your “daily routine” and go for small and big needs at certain hours - after eating, immediately after sleep, etc.

The latter is perhaps the most important, since in the matter of potty training, the main thing is understanding the process and purpose of this thing. The kid can write and poop on the potty for up to a year, but only if the parents catch the signs of the approaching action in time. The child himself will not make any conscious movements in this direction: the pot for him will be one of the things around him, he can look at it, even play with it - but only at two years old will he approach this object precisely with the aim of sitting down and making his own. Affairs.

Therefore, up to two years, you should not make a tragedy about the lack of such skills: the child doesn’t just not want to go to the pot - he just doesn’t understand what it is and why he should poop and pee not in diapers or panties, but in him.

How to assess your child's readiness

Although the age of two years is a certain Rubicon, it is unlikely that one fine day (more precisely, morning) the child will suddenly demand to put him on the potty, which he did not perceive at all as an alternative to diapers before. It’s just that at this age, he will quickly understand what they want from him, and later he will appreciate all the charm of innovations, and he will take off his pants and poop and write with pleasure where he should.

But it is quite possible that at first the baby will not understand what they want from him. And then parents will need to show maximum patience, be calm and restrained. Absolutely not:

by force to keep the baby on the potty if he did not relieve himself, but wants to get up;
start raising your voice, shouting;
express your dissatisfaction;
to scold and punish the baby if, having risen from the potty, he immediately began to write and poop in underwear or diapers.

In order for a child to start going to the potty consciously, it is necessary that he does it with pleasure. It may take more than one week, or even a month, to develop a positive result, but this must be done. And it is believed that two years is the optimal age to start such training, since the child is both physiologically and psychologically already ripe for going to the potty.

Reasons for negative attitude

If a child is already two years old, and he stubbornly does not want to go to the potty, although his parents are trying to teach him, you need to look for a reason, physiological or psychological.

It could be:

a tendency to constipation: in a baby, the connection between defecation and painful sensations is fixed at the subconscious level;
incorrectly selected pot;
impatience and irritability of parents.

All this leads to the fact that the pot becomes a strong negative irritant for the child, and attempts to use physical violence will only cause a protest reaction, and the baby will deliberately poop and pee in his pants.

If we talk about constipation, then with this phenomenon, the child not only does not want to poop on the pot - he generally tries to restrain himself until the last, when it will be impossible to hold on. It's just that parents may not notice this if the baby is in diapers. Although constipated stools are hard, this is what causes painful bowel movements. There may be microcracks in the anus, which will further increase the pain and fear of defecation.

In such cases, you need to change the child's diet, make sure that he gets more liquid, both in pure form and in dishes. It is better to transfer it to pureed soups, soft foods, until the stool returns to normal.

The impatience of parents, no matter how good goals they are guided by, plays a bad joke with them: children can “squeeze” for a long time, the pot can cause them fear and tears. Therefore, patience, patience and only patience.

If the child sat on the potty, but they didn’t wait for any result, it’s okay. You can not show your negative attitude to the child, he may also develop an unconscious sense of guilt.

If everything worked out, you need to praise him, pat him on the head and show your approval in every possible way.

At this age, everyone already knows their children thoroughly, and it’s easy to catch those moments when they want to pee or poop, especially since at the age of two this happens less often than before a year. Some will push, others will simply freeze, others will have a certain facial expression, a characteristic posture - in a word, watch the child, he will tell you when he needs to be put on the potty. But you need to do it unobtrusively. The pot should be at hand in the truest sense of the word. Otherwise, parents, noticing that the child is about to pee or poop, frantically rush to another room or to the toilet for a potty, which can frighten the child - and then this item may no longer be useful.

How to choose

In order for the baby to want to go to the potty, you need to choose it carefully, taking into account many features. And it's not about the color of the object. It is necessary to take into account:

size,
shape,
material,
design features.

The potty should not be too big or too small: it should be comfortable for the child to sit on it. It should not crash into the buttocks, but the baby should not “fall through” into it either.

Girls need a round pot, and boys need an oval one. This is dictated by anatomical features: at first, boys pee while sitting, and the shape of the pot should be such that there are no puddles on the floor.

The best material for this thing is plastic. It is light, safety, quickly heats up to body temperature. In this regard, it is undesirable to purchase metal or ceramic products: crouching on cold material, the child may not want to go to the potty. And ceramic, among other things, can also break.

As for the design features, it is very important that it be stable. If the child sways and rolls over along with the “dishes”, then there will be little pleasure in this, and he may not want to go to the potty for a long time, because it hurts to fall, and if the pot was already full, it’s completely bad.

Such a feature as a potty with a back is very convenient: the baby can recline without being afraid to roll over. There are models with removable covers, it is advisable to purchase them for trips with children.

What not to do

Wanting to teach the child to go to the potty as soon as possible, parents, as well as grandparents, are ready to do everything so that the baby begins to poop “like an adult”, and not in diapers. However, you should not turn a trip to the toilet into a circus performance: this will only distract the child's attention from the main goal.

The same applies to the product itself: it should be as simple and convenient as possible. All sorts of "bells and whistles" like color music and other additional effects will lead to the same results: for the baby, it will be just another toy, and its functional purpose will remain a mystery behind seven seals.

Also, do not give the baby, planting him to poop, books with pictures. Parents do this out of good intentions so that the child sits longer on his “toilet”. But he may develop a reflex, and in general, after looking, he will sit longer than it is necessary to relieve himself. This can lead to defecation disorders.

What the experts say

If the baby does not want to use the potty, there is no need to torment yourself and assume that your child is somehow worse than others - especially since you cannot take on faith the stories of mothers about the extraordinary abilities of their children: parents sometimes like to embellish the real state of affairs. Everything has its time.

Experts say that children who go to kindergarten learn faster on the example of their peers: it is much more illustrative than dolls and teddy bears planted on a pot at home.

As for diapers, the scientists did not reveal any relationship between the desire of children to go to the potty and wearing this accessory.

Greetings dear readers! A certain stage in the “growing up” of a child in a family is the moment when the baby begins to do his deeds in the pot, and not by. Therefore, the question of how to accustom a child to him as soon as possible takes top positions in all kinds of mom forums. Why does the child not want to go to the potty? How, without breaking the child's psyche, can a child be taught to use it in accordance with its intended purpose? We are ready to discuss these and many other questions regarding "potty training" with you today, are you ready?

How do families usually potty train a child? Mom, dad or grandmother, or maybe all of a sudden decide that it's time for you to become an adult baby! Here's a pot for you, baby, and if you please, defecate here!

The main "problem" in this situation is that it is the adults who decide that it is time to potty train the child, but in reality it should be the other way around - it is the baby who must show mom and dad that he is ready to do his own things in the pot. Therefore, to begin with, we will consider the main signs of the crumbs’ readiness to “conquer” toilet affairs:

Most importantly, at the time of its development, the baby should be about 1.6 years old (not less), as a rule, at about this age the nervous system begins to mature in the child and he can control urination, as well as be aware of the fullness of the bladder or intestines;

the child can remain dry for quite a long time (2-2.5 hours);
the baby can show signs or say in words that he wants to go to the toilet;
the baby squats on his haunches on his own and gets up without the help of strangers;
your son or daughter shows obvious signs of dissatisfaction when he is wet, tries to remove wet underwear or panties;
the baby goes to the toilet "for the most part" at about the same time;
the child diligently imitates many of the actions of mom and dad.

So, you have noticed all these signs of readiness in your child and understand that it is time to get down to business so that there is no problem - the child does not want to go to the potty, try to correctly introduce the baby to this accessory, and for this you will need:

What do we need to get acquainted with the pot

First of all, you should buy an accessory that is convenient for your child, for this purpose, feel free to take the baby to the store and start a picky inspection and selection of a potty from those available for sale. You should not buy pots with musical accompaniment, a steering wheel or game panels, because for many kids such “bells and whistles” only distract from the true “business”. Try to opt for anatomically comfortable models, there are options for girls and boys, in the form of a high chair with a removable insert and regular standard pots. Invite the baby to sit on the model they like, it is likely that the baby will choose a pot with the image of some kind of animal, the main thing is that it is sweet to the child's heart.
Even if a child does not want to go to the potty, then it is likely that he will change his mind when he sees how his favorite toy bunny goes to the toilet instead of him. Explain to the child why a new purchased “device” is needed using toys as an example!
It is not necessary to encourage pampering with the potty and playing with it for other purposes. Explain over and over again that the toilet throne will occupy a certain place in your house and should be used like a toilet - strictly for its intended purpose!
A great opportunity to teach your child to use the potty more quickly is to replace diapers during the day with panties. Children quickly realize that being wet is not so pleasant, at the same time, when the baby takes a potty, he remains dry, and also receives praise and joy from his parents!

So, you have purchased the “accessory” necessary for the baby, explained how to use it, however, it still turns out that the baby does not want to use it, why is this happening? Consider a list of tips from psychologists that will help make friends with a child with a potty and dot the “and”:

If you explained to the child how to use the potty, but he categorically refuses this action or clearly does not understand what you want from him, then let go of the situation! No need to "press" on the baby, because everything has its time! It is likely that in a couple of weeks, you will offer the baby a potty again, and he will please you by starting to use it for its intended purpose.
If the child has already had a negative experience of meeting with the potty and, at the sight of this object, he cries bitterly and runs away, then you should think about either purchasing a new potty that the baby himself will choose, or you should buy a special toilet pad, thanks to which the baby will be able to feel like an adult!
No, nothing is easier to push a child to any kind of activity than to show it by your own example! Dad can easily take his son to the toilet with him and demonstrate the skills of accurately hitting the target with him! As for mothers and daughters, why not put a potty next to the toilet and arrange a joint meeting with the baby there?

What absolutely cannot be done

Of course, to scold the baby for not having time, being late or going past the potty! Screaming, swearing, or even worse, assaulting you will not help the cause, but will only scare the child and ensure that the baby will experience rejection and fear of the potty.

In the event of a child's failure - say that there is nothing wrong with that, next time the crumbs will definitely be able to do everything the way it should! And, of course, dear readers of our blog, even if your little one does not want to go to the potty today, and it seems to you that this will never change, then deep down you know the answer yourself?!

A few months will pass, and the baby will go to the toilet without misses and misfires! You just need to be a little patient and help the baby cope with this difficult task for him at the moment! All the best! See you in new articles!

A very difficult period in raising a child that young parents face. Grandma's experience can't always help, which is very frustrating for moms. But this is understandable, because the characters of children are different, and the conditions of upbringing are even more so.

When should you start potty training your child?

There is no set training time. Some begin to introduce the child to the potty at almost six months, while others buy a potty only when they realize that pissing in pants at 2 years old is already too much. Sooner or later, but the child will understand why this item is needed.

Often the desire of parents to force the child to go to the potty lies in the fact that the baby will soon go to kindergarten and it would be better for him to do all the manipulations on his own. And during the training, many mothers panic - my child does not sit on the potty: what should I do? The most important thing is not to panic, to remain calm and calm. Let's see what factors indicate the readiness of the child to start going to the potty.

Urination and defecation are processes that are not controlled by a small child, as they pass without the participation of the cerebral cortex. Dr. Komarovsky urges parents to subordinate unconditioned reflexes to the will of the child, to make them controllable. Reflexes can be made conditional, but it depends on:

the state of the genitourinary system of the baby;
development of the nervous system of the child;
the desire of parents to go to the intended goal, despite the difficulties.

In other words, the younger the child, the more difficult it will be to teach him to consciously sit on the potty. The child begins to more or less control the natural needs only after a year. By this time, the area of \u200b\u200bthe brain responsible for the processes of urination and defecation begins to work.

What to do to potty train your child

During this period, the baby should already be familiar with a new object - a pot, so as not to be afraid of it in the future. Let him be among the toys for now. You can put any toy on it, invite the child to sit down himself. Let the baby sit and get used to it.
Never force a child to leave. This can discourage you from using the potty for its intended purpose for a long time.
The pot should be comfortable, not cause discomfort.
You should constantly praise the child when he sits down on his own to make him want to sit on the potty more than once.
Do not rush, do not rush things, be calm and do not scold the child in vain.

Baby signs of readiness

And now - the most important thing. In order to teach a child to go to the potty, Dr. Komarovsky recommends highlighting the distinctive features of the so-called readiness.

the child has established a routine when he goes to the toilet “in a big way”;
pauses between urination are maintained for 2-3 hours;
the baby knows the meanings of the words "write", "poop";
negative attitude towards wet panties and the desire to take them off on their own;
the ability to say or show with a gesture the action “I want”.

Important! The parent must develop in the child the relationship between filling the bladder and emptying it into the potty. For the period of accustoming it is better to refuse diapers. Otherwise, the child simply will not understand that it is unpleasant to walk in wet clothes. Mom will first have to catch the baby in order for him to get his pants dirty. It will be difficult, not always mom will be able to “catch” the moment in time, so you should be patient.

Involve your child in teaching as well. Together with him, do the whole procedure, from beginning to end, to turn it into a game. Take out the potty, put it in a convenient place, seat the child. When he pissed, look at what he did and praise him. Together with the baby, pour out the contents of the potty, sharpen his attention that the panties are dry and praise him again. Put the pot back in place.

If you can’t potty train your child for a long time, “forget” about it for 1-2 months. Don't think about the pot at all. And then start learning again. It is likely that this time the training will be faster and easier.

Potty training is another important milestone in a child's growing up. One fine day, often under the influence of conversations with other parents, the mother decides that it is time to transfer the child to the "adult" way of urination and defecation. Moreover, parents of both an 8-9-month-old and a 3-4-year-old baby can make this decision and start insisting on it. And, despite such a serious age step, the behavior and attitude of parents towards a child who "does not understand" or "does not want" to do what is expected of him will be similar. When attempts to persuade, show on toys, perhaps, to captivate by their own example do not work, parents may begin to get annoyed, scold the child, even punish him.

Most often, the child reacts to this pressure by refusing to obey his parents. At the same time, the child may insist on the old habitual way of urination, for example, in a diaper, or “do their business” in panties, next to the potty, but not in the potty.

For example:

Both laughter and sin - my child (1 year 5 months) made it a rule to write and poop on the carpet. Today I generally took things out of the chest of drawers, pulled out a shelf and peed there. What to do with it - I'll never know! They spoke to him kindly, and scolded, and even spanked - he only laughs in response. He refuses to go to the potty: he sits on it for a long time in his pants, groans, but then gets up and pees in his pants. They bought him a baby seat on the toilet - he once peed, sitting on it, by - now he also climbs in only to “play ka-ka” and grunt. True, he doesn’t like wet pants - he takes them off and takes them to the laundry. And if he poops in his pants - another problem: he gets his pen dirty in poop and shows it to me or to my grandmother! Well, what to do with him? Olga

In the worst case, the child refuses to pee or poop at all. He begins constipation, which only an enema helps to cope with, and even then not always. Potty training a child becomes a serious problem. Moreover, the more efforts parents make to achieve its solution, the worse and worse the result becomes.

My son is 2 years 6 months old. Weaning from diapers began at the age of two. In a small way, he walks without problems to the toilet, to the grass, - everywhere. But in a big way - the problem. He goes to kindergarten, and they say that he poops on the potty, but it doesn’t seem like it, because the child is suffering and at home he agrees to go only in diapers and poop standing up. We are trying to teach him to use a potty or a toilet, but this only causes a negative reaction and constipation! How to behave in this situation? Anna

As a rule, the resistance of the child is a surprise for the parents. They do not understand its nature at all. It seems to them that the child does not obey on purpose, on purpose. They believe that he can do what they want from him, but "out of harm" he does his own thing. That is why most often parents resort to punishment, while feeling their helplessness, because they cannot cope with the baby.

Why is the child resisting?

* First, he may simply not be old enough to consciously control his urinary and defecation organs. After all, using the potty requires a fairly high degree of self-control from the child.
* Secondly, in addition to physiological, there are also psychological reasons. Simply put, the child must both be able and want to use the potty. After all, what used to happen by itself and without any effort on his part, must undergo a complete restructuring. The kid must learn to manage a complex internal process.

If we decompose this process into components, it turns out that the child must learn:

1. to recognize the signal to urinate, that is, to understand what exactly he wants;
2. restrain the primary impulse;
3. consciously and voluntarily seek "suitable" conditions for this;
4. consciously "get down to business", being in the right conditions.

It is quite difficult to determine at what exact age a child becomes capable of this. There can be significant individual differences here. It is clear that by this time the child should already be able to walk and control his body quite well. In order to somehow indicate the age limits, we will assume that this happens closer to two years.

There are examples when mothers manage to potty train their children at an earlier age*. But most often this happens thanks to the efforts of the mother, when she recognizes the child’s desire to pee or poop and puts the pot in time. The mother's dexterity in such cases is, of course, commendable, but this does not mean that the child has mastered the potty and knows how to use it independently. The mother has yet to "hand over responsibility" for the administration of her natural needs, and may also encounter some difficulties in doing so.

Thus, we see that the child faces a rather difficult task, requiring a high concentration of attention and strength from him. At the same time, before learning to use the potty, the child will most likely have to go through the experience of failure. He, for example, may either not recognize the call to urinate, or not have time to run to the potty in time, even if he tries hard to do everything “right”. His disappointment in himself and his abilities in this case threatens to refuse to acquire a new skill, it is psychologically easier for him than experiencing strong negative emotions about this.

Now let's imagine that criticism of parents, and even punishment, is added to all these experiences. And it is not known what "hit" him more painfully. Sometimes it is much easier for a child to endure slaps on the pope than to see how upset his mother and father are with his failures. And then, at best, he will start writing in the wrong place or not when it is required. At worst, he will decide that something is wrong with him when he pees or poops, and that he will still be scolded and shamed. To avoid this, he will not do it at all, at least in front of his parents. He will either do it on the sly and then again “get” for it from his parents (which means he will make sure that his fears were not in vain), or he will endure to the last. And this is constipation, laxatives, sometimes mother's attempts to help the child by pressing on the tummy, etc. All this fuss around the potty frightens and unnerves the child even more.

Thus, most often (if the child is 2 years old or older), the problem with potty training occurs not at the level of physiology, but at the level of psychology. The child is quite able to recognize and restrain the primary impulse, but then a failure occurs. Negative emotions "kill" the very desire to master this difficult process.

Parents should understand that the main thing is not to force the child to use the potty, the sooner the better, but to stimulate his interest in the result, to achieve his voluntary cooperation in this process.

For this you need:

* forget about criticism, act only with praise, ignore failures;
* create motivation in the child, encourage him with praise and even "prizes", not only for the result, but also for any attempt to achieve it;
* you can break the process into several stages: the first is to teach the child to warn about his intentions (let him pee where it is convenient for him); the second is to teach how to do it in one special place; and only the third is to use a potty or a toilet for this.

It is important that the beginning of learning is the most comfortable for the child. It is not necessary to achieve the use of a potty exclusively. Some of the children will immediately give preference to the toilet (for example, with a soft comfortable seat), someone will fit a basin or even a rug in the bathroom (which is easy to remove from), in extreme cases, a diaper (if you put it on a child at his request immediately before urination or defecation).

Often parents consider such an intermediate stage in the process of accustoming the child to the potty not as their achievement, but as an unnecessary “concession” to the child. This is a wrong position. It is easier for a child to learn to control himself gradually. Each small success will stimulate him to further learning, pushing him to master more complex “levels of mastery”. Thus, the nervous system of the child and his parents will be protected from serious shocks, and the process of potty training will go as quickly as possible.
Some useful tips and comments

* It is worth accustoming a child to a potty / toilet during the day, when he is conscious and able. And do not teach if the child is sick or excited, experiencing some kind of stress.
* It is good if the child plays with the potty, puts toys there, although he does not use it himself. This suggests that he is in the process of mastering the potty (and not at all that he "mocks his parents").
* If a child uses the potty/toilet for only one reason - either pissing in it or pooping - this is not a cause for concern. We must continue to encourage his attempts and calmly wait until he decides on more.
* Do not be upset if a child, having learned to use the potty during the day, continues to urinate in bed at night. At night, it is more difficult for children to control their urges. Sometimes the sleep is so deep that the baby simply cannot wake up to pee. And this situation should be distinguished from enuresis and encopresis - diseases, which will be discussed below.

It happens that a child, having mastered the “right skills”, suddenly loses them, “learns them”. This is already an unfavorable symptom, which indicates that some changes are taking place in the child's psyche that prevent him from normally controlling the process of urination and defecation. However, this does not yet indicate the presence of the disease. When should parents start worrying?

There are several definitions of enuresis. The following can be considered the simplest and most understandable: enuresis - involuntary urination during the day and / or at night by a child aged six (!) years and older, in the absence of congenital or acquired defects of the nervous system or urinary tract, occurring on a systematic basis.

If we do not take into account purely medical factors (such as diseases of the central nervous and urinary systems, as well as severe infections), then the following adverse psychological factors influence the appearance of enuresis:

Psychotrauma

Trauma is most often caused by quarrels and conflicts in the family that occur in front of the child. Painfully experienced are also a change in the composition of the family (for example, the birth of a new member or the death of a close relative), a sharp change in the child's living conditions (adaptation period in kindergarten or school, moving to a new place of residence, prolonged separation from parents, caused, for example, by that the child had to go to the hospital).

Wet Bed Penalties and Other Parenting Mistakes

Fear of punishment not only does not help get rid of urinary incontinence, but, as a rule, worsens the situation. Fear itself becomes a factor contributing to the emergence and development of the disease. Pediatricians and neuropathologists, not to mention child psychologists, emphasize that involuntary urination in bed is a punishment for a child simply by the fact of what happened. To get rid of this disease, it is important to impress the child that his defect is temporary and will soon pass.

Approximately the same factors can play their negative role in the appearance of encopresis in a child - involuntary defecation.

In child psychology, there are various methods of non-drug treatment of enuresis and encopresis, which have proven themselves in practice. For example, methods of play therapy and art therapy. By drawing and playing games on the theme of his experiences, the child gets rid of internal tension, intuitively looks for ways to resolve his difficulties.

At the same time, the most important component of treatment is the creation of favorable external conditions for the child. Experience shows that after a good rest, if there are no new stresses, enuresis and encopresis (when there are no medical complications) pass without a trace.
Parenting Mistakes

* A typical mistake that parents usually make is striving to adhere to strict time limits when potty training a child. Reasons: standards left over from the old Soviet medical school.
* Bad advisers: doctors of the "old school" and relatives who raised their children according to their instructions; their unwillingness to reconsider their views.
* Unfavorable external conditions that push the mother to make mistakes: the feeling that her child "lags behind" the children of acquaintances.

Erroneous actions: planting a child on the potty, despite his unwillingness, pressure on the child, blaming and punishing him for improper use of the potty, for dirty pants.

Consequences: constipation, the child’s fear of urination, defecation, the child’s experience of his insolvency, inferiority (especially if the mother sets him as an example of a “good” child he knows, who is already doing what he can’t do); the stress experienced can affect appetite, sleep, give aggressive manifestations, or, conversely, contribute to the isolation of the child.

Correct actions:

* the principle of voluntariness: the child is given a choice - to use the potty or not;
* calm attitude to the problem of using the potty: encouragement for attempts to use the potty (praise, prizes) in the complete absence of criticism for "wrong" actions;
* long period of potty training: each child is individual, each has its own "speed" and degree of readiness to control their bowel movements (the condition for success is the physiological and psychological readiness of the child to control the processes of sending his needs).

From the book

What Not to Do for Parents

These tips are tested on our own experience.

When a baby appears in the family, his parents acquire new worries and responsibilities. So, at the very beginning, they worry about the nutrition and proper development of the baby. Over time, a process called education begins. It is here that parents should explain to the baby in a timely manner what can be done, and how best not to do it. Potty training is a painful topic for many parents. So, some couples claim that their kids are asked to relieve themselves in the right place almost from birth. Does it happen? This article will discuss what to do if a two-year-old child does not go to the potty. You will be able to get acquainted with the opinion of experienced professionals and knowledgeable parents. Also find out if the case when a two-year-old child does not go to the potty is a pathology.

At what age should a child be taught to pee in a special place?

Most parents are convinced that children should be taught to go to the potty at the age of six months. Some unique people manage to do it even earlier. However, all this is nothing more than an attempt to save on diapers and brag to friends. Also, grandmothers put a lot of pressure on moms and dads, who are surprised how their grandson or great-grandson pees in his pants a year.

Pediatricians and neurologists, on the other hand, say that a child has the right to relieve himself wherever he wants up to three years. Of course, most babies after 12-18 months already prefer to ask to go to the toilet. However, the absence of such a habit at this age is not a pathology. How to be parents? What to do if a child of 2 years does not go to the potty? Consider some methods of influencing the baby at this age.

Offer an alternative to the hated accessory

If a child of 2 years does not go to the potty, Komarovsky offers to provide the baby with an alternative. The baby is already quite big and understands everything perfectly. He sees how mom and dad urinate elsewhere and wants to do the same.

Try replacing the potty with a regular toilet. If you do not have the opportunity to put a special children's plumbing device, then purchase a regular pad. Remember that the product should be as convenient and comfortable for the baby as possible. Attach the seat securely to an adult toilet and invite your child to pee there. Most likely, the baby will be interested in such a change of scenery. Even for the sake of their own interest, the child will want to follow your example. Perhaps, from this day on, the baby will go not to the potty, but to use the adult toilet.

Change device to another

If a child of 2 years old does not go to the potty and refuses to accept it at all, then most likely he simply has unpleasant associations. Remember, did you teach your baby to relieve himself in this particular device by force? Perhaps the child simply remembered the negative points and now does not want to use such a device.

There is a way out of this situation. Just buy a new pot. It is desirable that not only the color is different, but the very shape of the product. Invite the baby to choose an accessory on their own. In this case, there is a high probability that the child will want to use the potty immediately and will always do this.

Avoid diapers

2 year old not potty trained? Are you still using diapers and absorbent underpants? Then it's not about the baby. Most likely, parents themselves are not yet able to admit that their child has already grown up and can relieve himself on his own. Mom and dad do not let the two-year-old know that without diapers, his panties will get wet, and this will be very unpleasant.

Avoid absorbent devices. Stop wearing diapers at night and during the day. After a few days, you will be able to notice that the child has begun to show interest in the potty. He will simply be uncomfortable in wet pants.

Don't scold the baby

If a child of 2 years does not go to the potty, many parents resort to drastic measures. They begin to scold the baby or even beat. It is worth saying that these actions are absolutely wrong. With this method, you will only reinforce the negative attitude towards the hated accessory.

Stop scolding and shaming your child. Try to remind him more often that it's time to pee in the potty. Ask periodically if he wants to go to the toilet. At this age, children are already quite able to control their desires and feel the fullness of the intestines.

Create motivation

If a child of 2 years does not go to the potty, then most likely he is just lazy. He does not have any motivation that would contribute to the desire to empty himself in the right place.

Invite your child to choose and buy underwear for him together. It can be panties with your favorite cartoon character or shorts in your preferred color. Already on the first day of wearing the chosen outfit, you will notice that the child has begun to use the potty. All due to the fact that the baby does not want to spoil the favorite thing that he chose for himself.

Also, any treat can be a motivation. What does your child love the most? Candy or chocolate? Juice or cookies? Tell him that you will immediately encourage him as soon as he starts to pee in the potty. Remember that your promise must be kept. Otherwise, the kid will simply be disappointed in you and continue his policy.

Take away the pot

If so, just take this item from him. Seems pretty stupid, doesn't it? However, it is worth saying that all children at this age are terrible owners. They are unwilling to share their toys and personal belongings, even with their parents. What can we say about strangers and peers!

Take the child's potty and just say that you will give it to another baby (birds, dog, etc.). No one else knows the baby like you. Choose an object for which such a present is provided, based on the considerations of your child. Perhaps he doesn't like to share toys with the boy next door? So tell me that the pot is for him. It is likely that after such your sayings, the child will pick up his device and immediately use it. As a result, you will achieve what you wanted. If necessary, remind your child periodically that the potty can still go to another owner if it is not used.

Carrot and stick

If a two-year-old child does not go to the potty, what should I do? It also happens that all of the above methods do not help. Some children are so stubborn that they do not want to give in to any conditions and compromise. In this case, you can try and punishment. However, you need to know for sure that the baby behaves in this way precisely because of stubbornness.

Many mothers say that after several punishments, the children began to use the potty quite normally. A ban on cartoons, a refusal of a new toy, deprivation of sweets, and so on can act as a whip. Most likely, after such influences, the baby will agree to use the hated device in order to return the joys of his life.

See a doctor and get treated

If a child of 2 years old does not go to the potty, what should his parents do? In some cases, this symptom is a sign of pathology. The baby may need medical attention. Contact doctors such as a urologist, nephrologist, pediatrician and neurologist. They will conduct the necessary examinations and make the correct diagnosis.

If your baby has any neurological problems, then this option is quite likely. In this case, you can not tighten with the correction. Timely treatment will allow you to quickly and without consequences restore control of the urinary function, and the baby will go to the potty.

Waiting position

What to do if a child at the age of two refuses to go to the potty? Just wait. If you have been to the doctor and the doctor said that everything is fine with the child, then you can not worry about anything. The baby will not urinate in panties until adulthood. Most likely, after a few months or weeks, the baby will show interest in his accessory and begin to relieve himself there.

Remember the opinion of experienced doctors. Experts say that the child has every right not to use the pot until the age of three. Do not look at other children and, of course, you should not believe parents who claim that their baby is asking to go to the toilet from the cradle. At night, the baby can urinate in panties until the age of five. Be patient. You may not have to wait that long. Most children at the age of three already independently use the potty day and night. However, there are exceptions that only prove the rule.

Summing up, or a small conclusion of the article

You now know what to do if the baby does not go to the potty at the age of two. Remember that all advice is conditional. Some can affect the child immediately. Others will not force the baby to react to the situation.

Do not apply all tips at the same time. Choose the one that seems most effective to you. If necessary, after a few days, use a different method. Give your child good examples, but at the same time do not reproach him. Otherwise, the child may have a complex, and he will completely close in himself. If necessary, you can take the advice of a child psychologist. A specialist will surely find an approach to your baby and help solve a delicate problem. Raise your child right and set a good example for him by your actions. I wish you success!