How to raise a boy as a real man: tips. System-Vector Psychology

Divorce is not uncommon these days. According to disappointing statistics, about half of marriages in Russia break up. Although society's attitude towards divorce is becoming more tolerant, the breakup of a family is a serious stress for all its members. Children are especially affected by this. The task of parents is to help the child survive the divorce of their parents and mitigate its negative consequences on the upbringing process.

Divorce through the eyes of a child

Children in a divorce situation feel a strong nervous tension. Unfortunately, in most cases, the separation of mom and dad causes them psychological trauma. The exception is when a parent leaves, whose presence caused great discomfort. For example, when a mother divorces an alcoholic father who was violent and beat his wife and children. However, most often the offspring are very worried and do not want their parents to disperse. Psychologists distinguish several generalized children's reactions, largely dependent on age.

From birth to 1.5 years. The crumbs are not yet able to understand what is happening in the family. The reaction to the divorce of parents at this age mainly depends on the experiences of the mother, as they subtly feel her psychological state and adopt it. The peanut can show his emotions with whims, tantrums, nervousness, refusal to eat, problems with sleep. Psychological discomfort can affect health: frequent illnesses, exacerbation of congenital diseases;
From 1.5 to 3 years. The emotional connection between the baby and parents at this age is very strong. They are the center of his little universe, so the departure of one of them will be hard to experience. Emotions can also affect physical health, manifest as problems with appetite and sleep. It happens that the baby becomes unmotivated aggressive: fights, bites. In some children, there is a return to infantile forms of behavior: pacifier sucking,;
From 3 to 6 years. During this period, children develop a vague understanding of what a divorce of parents is. They suffer because one of the parents no longer lives with them. Preschoolers tend to blame themselves for this. Manifestations at the physical level: poor appetite, sleep. Various fears and fantasies may appear. It happens that the offspring behave aggressively towards the parent with whom they stayed to live. Manifestations of risky behavior, disobedience are increasing, injuries are becoming more frequent;
From 6 to 11 years old. The stress experienced by a child from the divorce of his parents can be exacerbated by the crisis of 7 years, which coincides with entering school. If adaptation to school is accompanied by an unfavorable situation at home, this can cause problems with learning, reluctance to go to school, conflicts with peers, antisocial behavior. At this age, children already understand what a divorce is, they are often afraid that they will not see one of the parents, they will not be able to communicate with him. Fears can also arise in relation to their future, which seems uncertain and frightening. Some children think that they can restore the family, they are trying to reconcile their parents. If this fails, the children feel deceived, abandoned;
11 years and older. Adolescents are already able to understand what divorce is, but internally they cannot accept it. Against the backdrop of raging hormones, everything is taken to heart. Adolescents experience resentment and disappointment, often there is a feeling of uselessness and abandonment. The departure of one of the parents can be perceived as a betrayal, the reaction to which is behavioral disturbances: absenteeism, alcohol consumption,. It also happens the other way around: the child becomes an ideal son or daughter, thus trying to achieve reconciliation between the parents.

At any age, it is psychologically very difficult for a child when mom and dad decide to divorce. Parents need to set themselves the goal of overcoming mutual claims and learning how to interact, taking into account the interests of the child.

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The right solution in a divorce situation would be joint custody of the child. It happens that this is very difficult to do, because the former spouses cause a lot of conflicting and even negative emotions in each other. However, it is necessary to do this in order to minimize the psychological trauma of the child from the divorce of the parents. Psychologists say that when the ex-husband and wife maintain a calm, even relationship, continue to take care and raise their children together, the children feel normal.
Don't avoid talking to your child about the divorce. You can’t lie and say that one of the parents went on a long business trip. The best thing to do is to talk openly with your child. It is good if both parents are involved in the conversation. The psychological state of the child after the divorce largely depends on how this conversation goes.
In a calm atmosphere, tell them that mom and dad are breaking up because they can no longer be happy together. Be sure to mention that you are divorcing each other, but not with the child. Your breakup is not his fault. Both of you still love and will love your baby, communicate and spend time together, although someone will live separately.
You can not quarrel and insult each other in the presence of a child. Try to discuss disagreements and disputes as peacefully as possible, without involving the offspring in conflicts.
Do not criticize your ex-husband or wife in front of a child. If a child is critical of a former spouse in his absence, do not encourage and support him in this.
Do not put the child in a situation of choice between parents and do not set against the former spouse. The child loves and needs each of you.
Do not use children as an intermediary between you: forcing them to send angry messages, demanding money, fishing for information about their personal lives. If you have something to say to your ex(es), do it in person.
Stop the child's attempts to manipulate you with threats that he will leave to live with another parent. This will teach him to manage you and negatively affect moral development.
Do not humiliate the offspring, finding in his behavior traits of negative resemblance to the former spouse. " All in the father! (to the mother!) ”- such phrases can provoke even more negative behavior and set against both parents.
Never blame your child for your problems, unsettled personal life, domestic difficulties. This is the fault of adults, and you can not take out your irritation on him.
Do not prevent the other parent from seeing the child. Although the place of residence of the offspring is determined by the court, mom and dad must be nearby. Agree when and how much time the child will spend with each, and do not infringe on the ex-spouse's right to communicate with him.
Be open in your communication with your child, while avoiding unnecessary details. The child subtly feels falseness, so it is better to talk about your experiences in a language that is accessible to him. So he will understand that he is not alone in his feelings. On the other hand, do not dump your problems on him, they may not be up to him, no matter how grown-up he may seem.
Show your love and affection generously. She is needed more than ever during this difficult time. On a subconscious level, many children fear that if their parents have fallen out of love with each other, then they can easily stop loving them too. Show that it is not.
Give your child as much attention as possible: read together, be creative. Try to expand your social circle so that the child is distracted from family problems, spend more time outside the home in joint walks and sports.
Help your offspring set achievable goals and achieve them. Do not skimp on praise, but do not avoid fair punishments.
Try to be an example for the child: do not act immorally, do not withdraw into yourself, learn to overcome the blues and enjoy life - and he will definitely join you in this!

If parents manage to agree among themselves after a divorce and jointly take care of their child, this has the best effect on his psychological well-being.

The positive impact of joint custody after divorce

The child feels safe. Participation in the life of the child of both parents gives him a sense of confidence in their love, has a positive effect on self-esteem. This helps a growing person to accept the fact of separation of the closest people faster and easier.
Joint custody of parents gives the child a sense of stability, orderliness of life. This allows, just as in a complete family, to form a system of rules, rewards and punishments. The offspring is confident in the future, knows what to expect from others and what is expected of him.
The child learns to deal effectively with difficulties. Having before his eyes the experience of parents who successfully overcame differences and were able to cooperate for a common goal, the child adopts their model of behavior in difficult situations.

Divorce is not a sentence for a child. The wisdom and love of parents, their ability to compromise and forget mutual insults will help him cope with stress and overcome it with the least psychological losses.

Initially, nature laid it down so that the child is brought up by dad and mom. The fruit of the love of two people grows, develops and learns the world together with the closest people. Such a family is complete. However, in our time, defective families have become almost the norm, because many women give birth to children out of wedlock, for themselves, raising a child for two.

Often families break up - and the child remains in the upbringing of the mother. How does one parent cope with education? What are the features of raising children in incomplete families?

How to raise a child in an incomplete family

According to demographers, every tenth child of preschool age is brought up by one parent. At school age, this is already one in seven. Among incomplete families, the tendency of the "maternal" family, that is, the upbringing of the child by one mother, persists. However, there are families where children are raised by fathers. How does the incompleteness of the family affect the child?

Incomplete families arise for a variety of reasons: in connection with the death of one of the parents, divorce, the birth of a child out of wedlock.

The upbringing atmosphere of the family where the mother was widowed is more favorable than in the family where the divorce happened. Preserved family ties provide children with psychological support and compensate for the lack of communication. If there are several children in such a family, then this can also be a partial compensation for the incompleteness of the family. Usually the elder becomes the younger "leader", stimulates him in the social sphere, acts as a protector.

Psychologists state that in incomplete families, children compete less and are more attached to each other. In the event of a divorce of parents, they simply "pass" the exam for early adulthood. Divorce for them is a breaking of habitual relationships, traditions, foundations. Divorce has the greatest impact on preschool children. In such an incomplete family, the relationship between parent and child sometimes develops like a cult of self-sacrifice. This means that mother and child are connected by love, suffering, pain, sadness. This type of relationship gives rise to pessimism in the child, self-doubt, anxiety, gloomy moods. And sometimes the relationship between a parent and a child in a family after a divorce develops according to the type of indifference. The child is not noticed, the mother suffers and is given over to sadness and resentment. Often this resentment can spill over into the child. Then he becomes even more weak in soul and body, feeling the loss of his father and mother at the same time.

Therefore, after a divorce or in the event of a baby being born without a father, the mother should do everything so that the baby feels the absence of the second parent to a minimum. Consultations of a child psychologist, communication with teachers will be useful. Very often, the grandfather or other male relative of the family begins to play the role of the father in such families. A child, especially a boy, intuitively reaches out to a man who looks like his father, because he wants to compensate for the lack of male attention and care. Well, if such a man is nearby.

Raising children without a father

Today, fathers are much more actively involved in the upbringing of children, even after a divorce. As a rule, mothers are democratic and allow the child to communicate with the father. Indeed, after a divorce, the absence of a father is very felt by children. Without it, the child lacks authority and discipline.
After a divorce, a huge role is played by the attitude of the mother towards her ex-husband, who in any case remains a dad. Some women do not mention their husband and live as if he never existed. Others deliberately oust everything good about their father from their children's memory, taking the opportunity to mention him from a negative side. Wise women try not to change the image of the father in the representation of children. They remember both the good and the bad, giving children the opportunity to draw their own conclusions. Psychologists say that creating the image of a bad father after a divorce is the lot of weak and not far-sighted women. After all, the boy in this case will develop with complexes, and the girl will subconsciously think that all men are bad.

The absence of a father, according to scientists, negatively affects the mathematical abilities of boys and girls.

These abilities are extinguished due to the lack of an intellectual environment that a man creates. Girls who grew up without a father always have a fear of math. Even simple mathematical calculations lead them to panic, confusion.

The presence of a father in the family affects both the mental development of children and their interest in education. According to studies, the time a boy spends with his father affects his studies. The more they communicate, the better the son learns. An active and businesslike father, aimed at success, makes the boy want to imitate him. For him, he is an authority and a model in everything.

The first 5 years of life play a decisive role in the development of a male character in a boy. The longer at this time the child has to live without a father, the greater will be the difficulties in his gender identity.

If a boy is brought up by one mother, then one can observe in him a manifestation of female character traits, a preference for activities characteristic of girls.

In the development of the girl, the father is the main man, the model to which she will subsequently orient her relations with men. Psychological research states that a girl's relationship with her father in early childhood affects her future personal life. Women raised by friendly and affectionate fathers tend to be successful in marriage, sexually and spiritually. And those whose father was faceless or did not exist at all are more often unhappy in marriage. Such girls are clamped and constrained, they often have inferiority complexes, they consider themselves ugly and unworthy of happiness. Even in a small and familiar company, they remain silent and blush, feel uncomfortable, prefer loneliness. Therefore, they cannot arrange their personal lives. Relationships with men cause them fear. That is, the lack of paternal influence when a girl grows up makes it difficult for her to develop as a woman and complicates the formation of intergender communication skills. Such women are very often divorced, as are their mothers.

Features of raising children in single-parent families

The breakup of a family is almost always a trauma for the child's psyche. But often the parent left to raise the child does not try to mitigate this trauma. In their bitter throwing and grievances, women often forget about children. They, in turn, consider themselves abandoned by both parents.

Other mothers after the breakup try to take on a double mission. They are trying to replace both dad and mom at the same time. This mission is very rarely feasible, because in a complete family, the father and mother occupy their own niches. At the junction of educational positions there is a golden mean, which makes it possible to competently educate children.

A single mother wants to replace the boy's father. She's getting stricter than usual. Mom begins to make increased demands on him and sometimes even becomes cruel.

But psychologists believe that upbringing in an incomplete family can be a normal process, only it is carried out in more difficult conditions for the mother. The qualities of a parent who raises a child may well compensate for the lack of another parent after the breakup of the family. The child perfectly differentiates the mother from the father, so you should not take on impossible missions.

The mother's main educational weapon should be double responsibility. The kid should feel that he is still protected, loved, that he is ready to listen, help and support.

Very often, after the divorce of their parents, the guys at school listen to the stories of their peers about their fathers, joint family pastime. This causes them hidden envy and resentment. It is good if after the divorce the child communicates with the father. If this does not happen, then such grievances over time can even result in hatred of the mother, mental disorders and the development of phobias.

Communicate with your child more often and listen to him. Ask questions, be interested in his life in kindergarten and school, relationships with friends, peers.

Praise your son or daughter more often. Don't punish them. An emotionally stable atmosphere will keep the child's trust in the mother and self-esteem, self-confidence.

Do not forbid remembering the past, in particular the father. This is a child's right.

Help your son and daughter learn behaviors that match their gender.

Expand and develop family social ties. The child should be able to actively communicate and build relationships with the men you know.

A new marriage is a chance for the child to return to life in a full-fledged family. And here it is important that a relationship of mutual understanding and love develop between the new chosen one of the mother and her child.

Especially for - Diana Rudenko

When you raise a child alone, in addition to the role of mother, you also have to master the role of father in order to fill the void in the heart of the child. Surround the baby with care and respect, but do not try to compensate for the absence of dad with expensive gifts and momentary satisfaction of any whim and whim. Despite the circumstances, give him a happy childhood with positive emotions and impressions.

Raising a child is not easy, but rewarding work. A selection of tips on raising children, recommendations, answers to frequently asked questions on raising a child. Raising a child is a serious and responsible process, the quality of which determines the future of the child and the new generation as a whole. The upbringing and development of children as a discipline includes a wide range of topics - raising a child up to a year, preschool education of children, education and upbringing of children, programs for raising children, raising children by parents, moral education of children, physical education of children, etc.

1. Learn to listen to your child. You are the only person to whom he can trust his childhood experiences and problems. Often, mothers who raise a child themselves are only obsessed with the thought of how to provide for the family, not at all noticing the depressed mood of the baby. Be interested in his affairs at school, get to know the teacher to be aware not only about academic performance, but also about how his relationship with classmates develops.

2. Do not compensate for your lack of fulfillment in your personal life on the child (also resentment towards the father). After all, he will not become happier knowing that his father does not love either his mother or himself. It is better for the baby to learn this information, being older, when he can independently determine for himself the relationship with his father. As difficult as it may be, don't talk bad about his dad, just try to explain to your child that you're having insurmountable relationship difficulties and living apart is a mutual decision.

3. You can’t involve the baby in your family strife, therefore, after the break, do not limit the communication of the father with the child, do not make him the subject of blackmail or revenge on the ex-husband. Your baby should understand that his dad loves him and misses him, and not feel abandoned or unnecessary by him.

4. Happy mom, happy baby. Try not to show your child your bad mood, problems and emotional experiences. Instead, he needs to see a mother next to him, who lives a full and interesting life and fully enjoys it. After all, even a childish and such a gentle mind is able to catch the depressed mood of the mother, which in the future can serve as a serious reason for children's experiences and possible isolation, insecurity and complexes.

5. Include all grandparents, uncles and aunts in the process of raising and developing a child. The feeling that you are part of one large and friendly family has a positive effect on the behavior of the child and his emotional state. The love and care of family members will make the absence of a second parent less noticeable and exciting for your baby.

Prepared by healthyandbeloved.com Anastasia Sukhenko

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How to raise a girl in an incomplete family

Raising a daughter alone means dooming her to loneliness? Anna Stefanova, head of the Positive Psychology Studio for Children and Adolescents, does not think so. Indeed, according to statistics, girls build their lives according to their mother's scenario. It happens unconsciously. Yes, and mothers do not always know what they are doing, trying to protect their beloved child from mistakes. Why are phrases like: "Do not trust men, they will betray you just like your father." So the girl grows up with fear of any relationship. And mom also adds: “No one will love you the same way as I do.”

My 5-year-old daughter is very fond of pointing and ordering and does not tolerate criticism. How to be? Q: My 5-year-old daughter is very fond of pointing and ordering, does not tolerate criticism, and perceives the demands of others negatively. I was criticized many times in kindergarten. She is also in charge at home. Everything in nature strives for harmony and balance, the relationship between children and parents is also subject to this law.

Statistics show that the number of divorces is growing like a snowball. People fall in love, get married, have children, but, unfortunately, many decide to divorce. Everyone determines the correctness of this decision for himself, but the trend is obvious.

What worries a single mother

Divorce raises many questions for the mother. Here are the typical ones:

How to raise a child without a father?
Will it affect his development?
To what extent will the absence of a father's example affect the boy's life?
Will a girl, having matured, be able to build a happy family if she was left without a dad in her childhood?

These questions haunt single mothers, and when problems arise in the life of a child, the mother thinks that this could not have happened if dad was around.

Let us consider the real significance of the role of the father in education, without exaggerating or underestimating it.

A woman, having learned about pregnancy, begins to understand that a little man will soon be born, for which she will be responsible for 18 years - and maybe her whole life. And her upbringing will largely affect the fate of the child in adulthood. No one wants to be left without a husband and raise a child alone, but what if circumstances put a woman in such conditions? What to do if you had to become a single mother?

Different situations arise in life - a man leaves his pregnant wife, parents get divorced when the child is already an adult, a woman herself decides to leave her husband, because she is not satisfied with family life. Sometimes tragic events happen that leave a child an orphan.

From childhood, girls are taught the stereotype that children should grow up in complete families, otherwise a child - especially a boy - may grow up handicapped, unable to build his own happy family in the future. After all, there are many examples in life when daughters who grew up without a father eventually also become single mothers. Every now and then we come across stories that indicate that the absence of a father in the family negatively affects children. What then to do?

Children of today perceive divorce differently than children of the recent past. If earlier there were 1-2 children from incomplete families in the class, now there are much more of them. There are more and more children growing up without a father or having a “Sunday dad”, and therefore they perceive the news of a divorce differently.

However, it is always necessary to take into account the psychotype of the child. There are children for whom it is important that everything in the family be decorous and noble, that everything be right. These children have the hardest time enduring the divorce of their parents. They have a hard time accepting any changes, and such important changes in their usual way of life as the separation of their parents deprive them of a sense of security. Therefore, it is necessary to prepare such a child for the breakup of the family gradually, very carefully and as delicately as possible.

There are children who easily adapt to any changes, so they are able to more easily accept the news of their father leaving the family. For any child, the divorce of parents is perceived as a threat to his safety, but this should not be taken as a tragedy of a lifetime.

Any negative consequences of the separation of parents can be smoothed out if the father and child continue to communicate after the divorce, if they at least occasionally see each other, and preferably as often as possible. A woman must find the strength in herself not to express her grievances against her ex-husband to her children, not to set the children against him, not to cause them to be negative towards their father, not to distort the idea of \u200b\u200bhim.

Should the family get divorced?

It must be understood that it is not always necessary to strive to save the family by any means.

If children grow up in an outwardly prosperous family, in which there is actually a lot of negativity, then they can transfer this experience to their future family. Children should not see the swearing and quarrels of their parents. It is important to remember that any father is an example for children, and a bad father, accordingly, is a bad role model. Any domestic violence witnessed by children is a psychological trauma for them.

Unfortunately, there are fathers who beat children, maim them psychologically (for example, constantly ridiculing the boy for his tears, repeating “what are you like a woman, be a man”) - all this is no better than raising children in an incomplete family. The worst thing for a child is to see how his mother is beaten. From birth, the baby perceives the mother as a guarantor of his security and safety. And if a child sees the beating of his mother, then the picture of his world collapses.

With the right approach, you can convey to the child that divorce is not fatal, that sometimes this happens, and this is how it happened in their family. Some emotional children, with appropriate explanations, can tell their friends that their mother met her true love, and they will now live in a new family. Children should not be allowed to perceive divorce as the only way to solve problems in the family - after all, very soon they will start families themselves and may face conflicts in them.

Single mothers should understand that by nature they have everything to raise a mentally and physically healthy child. The post-war generation grew up in incomplete families and became normal people. Don't pre-arrange for the worst. Of course, it is more difficult for a woman to raise a child alone than in a full-fledged family, but this is also possible.

Features of raising a child in an incomplete family.

Research objectives:to establish how education in an incomplete family is reflected in the formation and development of the personality of a preschooler. To identify the causes of hidden and obvious educational problems in an incomplete family and ways to solve them.

According to statistics, among children of preschool age, every tenth child is brought up by one parent, and among children of school age - every seventh. Today, among incomplete families, the "maternal" family is still the most common. However, the number of families with single fathers is also increasing.

Causes of incomplete families:

Death of one of the parents

Divorce of parents

Out-of-wedlock birth of a child

Adapting to a different lifestyle in the role of a parent "without a mate", developing new forms of family life is a difficult psychological task. For a preschooler, life after the divorce of his parents is a breakdown of habitual relationships, a conflict between attachment to his father and mother. Due to their age-related tendency to conservatively adhere to the usual forms of behavior and established order, Preschoolers have difficulty adapting to everything new, therefore such global changes as divorce are especially painfully perceived at preschool age.

Mothers who raise children without the participation of fathers have a greater level of anxiety about their family responsibilities than married women. A single mother often has fears and fears of this kind: "how not to spoil", "would not get out of hand", "bad heredity will suddenly appear."

Then mothers, especially in relation to their sons, begin to strictly dose manifestations of affection, become critical and begin to play the role of “strict fathers”.

The main mistake of such mother's behavior is that children perceive paternal and maternal authoritarianism differently.Paternal criticism is "fair" criticism; the maternal one is subconsciously perceived by the child as a refusal to love him.

Based on this, the child can develop 2 models of behavior:

BUT) begins to fight for the need to feel loved and significant, using the entire arsenal of means available to him, including stubbornness and whims.

B) is given and grows infantile, taking as the norm the total dominance of a woman. And this is fraught with future deformation of gender identity, a violation of emotional ties with society.

The opposite of the rigid position of the mother in relation to the child is the position of universal pity for the "orphan girl", who, by definition, is simply allowed to do everything. Such a position creates the conditions for the emergence of egoistic claims of the child, he is deprived of the opportunity to learn inner confidence and does not receive the experience of the sincere presence of an adult in his life.

Also, the relationship between the remaining parent and the child can develop according to the model of the "cult of self-sacrifice", when parents and children are connected to each other not only by love and care, but also by suffering, pain, sadness. Such a family brings a lot of uncertainty, anxiety, worry, gloomy moods to the child.When a parent plunges into the world of his experiences, he emotionally "leaves" his child, from which the children begin to weaken in soul and body, feeling not only the loss of their father, but also - in part - of their mother.

A child under six months old, he practically does not notice the changes and forgets the absent parent in a few days, subject to attention from other relatives.

At the age of six months to two and a half years, his mood can often and dramatically change due to the absence of one of his parents.
A child of two and a half to six years old experiences a severe emotional shock. He does not understand the reasons for the divorce, he may consider himself guilty of what happened, he promises to improve if the parents reconcile.

It can be concluded that the children of divorced parents, no matter what age they are, need to properly digest the fact that the family has broken up. Deep in their hearts, every child wants mom and dad to be together and love each other.Children need to experience the pain of separation just like their parents. It is not uncommon for a child not to experience this pain until mom or dad starts dating a new man or woman.

Children may be angry at both parents for not keeping the family together. They may be angry at themselves for the fact that their disobedience led to a rupture between dad and mom, or because they did nothing to prevent their parents from breaking up. The child may find it difficult to overcome or express this anger. He may fear that if he shows this anger towards a parent who has left the family, he may be completely rejected and deprived of the opportunity to visit this parent. He may also think that if he is too zealous in expressing his anger towards the parent with whom he was left, he may also be rejected by that parent. He may be afraid of the intensity, the intensity of his anger, afraid that even if a particle of this anger spills out, this feeling may become uncontrollable.

Anger felt towards one of the parents can be switched to another, with whom it is not so dangerous to be angry. Sometimes children's anger can splash out on peers and caregivers, or manifest itself in destructive, defiant behavior.

Sadness, a depressed state - almost constantly manifests itself after a divorce, both in children and in adults.

Sadness can be combined with feelings of insignificance and low self-esteem, and can take the form of passive self-isolation. The child may mope, lose all interest in activities that previously gave him joy.

The child may become whiny, begin to experience old fears that he, it would seem, have already overcome. Various physical symptoms may appear, such as headaches and abdominal pain, or problems related to perseverance may occur.

Often he experiences mixed, conflicting feelings. He may hope that the departure of a parent from home will put an end to family turmoil, and at the same time desperately wish that this parent stays.

Children are concerned not only for their own well-being, but also for the well-being of their parents, and almost always stubbornly cling to the fantastic hope that their mom and dad will eventually reunite after a final divorce.

In the “post-divorce” period, these children have a special need to feel dependent and guarded, in need of more affection and reassurance. Researchers claim that girls are more likely to satisfy this need than boys. Parents are usually more stingy in affection towards their sons. Therefore, parents, first of all, need to understand that it is impossible to spoil the child by showing him the care and love that he needs.