Why does a first grader not want to go to school? First school problems. What to do if a first grader does not want to go to school? How to do homework with a first grader psychologist's advice

Getting used to the school, schedule, discipline in the classroom occurs gradually, as well as to fulfillment.

The Letter of the Ministry of Education of the Russian Federation dated February 22, 1999 N 220 / 11-12 “On the inadmissibility of overloads of elementary school students” clearly spells out the load norms for first-graders: homework should be set only from the second half of the year, and even then it should take no more than an hour to complete it.

This stage is a great opportunity to try to teach the kid to do the first lessons in his life on his own, because in the first half of the year they don’t give grades, and if he doesn’t do his homework, he won’t be punished for it. The main thing is that the child understands that doing homework is very important, that it is necessary to understand the topic and learn how to do what the teacher asks.

Total control

Often, parents believe that the first-grader is still too small for independence. Therefore, they only do it together, rewrite the entire “homework” cleanly, if the slightest mistake is made, the portfolio is rechecked several times. Sometimes this is really necessary, because children are scattered and uncollected, not ready for stress, quickly distracted. There is nothing wrong with doing lessons together, the main thing is to stop doing it in time.

Teachers agree that by the second grade the child is capable, if before that the process was properly organized. And if parents tend to keep everything under control, this can suppress the baby, deprive him of the opportunity to express himself, become independent. And here there are two important problems in relationships in the family.

Firstly, a rare parent does not get annoyed when doing homework with children. process for both. The kid eventually learns that learning is associated with screams and discontent, he begins to be afraid of failure, because he stops believing that he will succeed at least. Therefore, if you already decide to do the lessons together, then stock up on iron patience and a set of all kinds of praise for each correctly solved example and a beautifully written line.

Secondly, on the part of parents, it sometimes replaces ordinary human communication. Try to pay attention to whether you communicate with your child as before, on topics not related to school? Do you provide support, are you interested in his feelings and thoughts? Or are all evening conversations reduced to discussing homework, grades, and what happened at school?

Let everything go by itself?

Letting a first-grader do his own homework and completely ignoring his studies are not at all the same thing. The task of a parent who has decided to raise an independent and self-organized student is to competently arrange the entire process of doing homework. First of all, it concerns the creation of a comfortable environment and atmosphere.

Make a rule when exactly the child should do homework, and strictly follow the schedule. Tidy up your desktop and remove all distractions from it - leave only the bare minimum for completing a particular lesson. Turn off the TV and radio, put away all gadgets, games and toys. By the way, so that there are no problems with the beginning of the educational process, it is better not to turn on the TV, computer and radio from the moment the student arrives home and until the end of all work. So there will be no bargaining whether to watch "another cartoon" before sitting down to study. In addition, the kid will know that the faster he copes with the lessons, the faster he will see his favorite characters and play.

But this does not mean that a first-grader should sit for an hour at home without getting up - he is physiologically and psychologically unable to do this. Take five-minute breaks every 15-20 minutes, at this time play, jump, run and dance - replace mental activity with physical activity.

Help but don't control

When a kid just sits down for lessons, it’s worth asking him what the teacher asked, does he understand how to solve examples, can he draw a stick or a squiggle with his finger in the air, which will fill the page in the recipe? If something is not clear to him, disassemble, explain, show with an example. And go mind your own business. Do not think that a child left without control will “stand on its head”. If there is nothing distracting in the room, and the first-grader knows that he will be deprived of all the pleasures of communication and pleasant pastime with parents and friends until he does his “homework”, then he will simply and calmly do it.

A natural question arises - how then to check that the child is doing everything right? The ideal answer is no. The grading system exists just so that the child understands what threatens an unlearned lesson. After a couple of twos, he will understand that it is worth trying a little for the praise of teachers and mom and dad.

At the same time, tell the baby that you will always help if he has any difficulties. And be ready to respond to the request at any time. Try to always speak in a calm, even measured tone, without irritation and discontent. Then the children will really come to you every time they need an explanation, and they won't have to sit for hours on one complicated example.

But the task of the parent is not only to help cope with the new load in this most difficult and responsible period, but also to explain to the child why you need to study. The common phrase “you will become a janitor” has almost no effect, it is too distant a prospect for a first-grader. But the story that my mother loved natural history, and now she has become a doctor and treats people, and her father, an economist, can solve absolutely any example, because at school she loved mathematics - much more practical and visual.

Maria Stepanova

Very often, excited parents of first-graders turn to the children's psychological center - the child does not want to study, does not obey the teacher, plays in the lessons, everyone laughs at him, does his homework with scandals, in the end the teacher suggests switching to home schooling ... At the same time, in kindergarten the child was successful, attended development centers, began to read and write almost at the age of 5, went through pre-school training. Everything was fine, but the school suddenly became bad.

What happens, and why is the teacher often powerless in such situations?

If the results of diagnostics and information from parents indicate the normal mental development of the child, specialists begin to search for the cause of such behavior.

There are several options:

The child has not formed the role of a student, because the mechanisms of role-playing behavior have not been worked out (he talks with the teacher on an equal footing, does not listen and does not fulfill the requirements of the teachers, does what he wants in the lesson, gets up, leaves, crawls around the class, gets angry at home, cries, is naughty when doing homework);
the motivational-need sphere is not developed or needs psychological correction (plays with toys during lessons, involves classmates in the game, does homework only with parents and only after long persuasion, talks with peers only on the topics of games, does not like to talk about school, opposes the requirements of independent behavior in school matters);
volitional self-regulation of a first-grader is not developed (he starts doing everything together with everyone, but quits without finishing it, or does it haphazardly, because of this he quickly ceases to be successful, because learning new things and developing skills and abilities does not occur; promises, but does not fulfill can; takes on several things at once, because everything is interesting; remembers only what attracts attention; parents have to do everything together with the child and instead of him, in response to demands and criticism, the child is very upset, cries; usually this behavior leads to neurosis or illness.

It is these problems that make a child unsuccessful in the role of a first-grader, and his teaching is ineffective in such conditions: a child can be taught to learn only if he easily fulfills the role of a student, understands why it is necessary to study and this is very important for him, meaningfully, makes strong-willed efforts to managing your desires, emotions and your studies.

Note that parents play a major role in the formation of educational motivation. Imagine a picture: a child was bought a bicycle and sent to a competition, they are offered and forced to ride a bicycle to the finish line, the child himself wants to, but he does not know how to pedal with his feet, he cannot keep his balance. He's going to fall. Well, if it doesn’t crash, but it definitely won’t win the competition. And then he is also scolded for the fact that nothing happened. To avoid this, children come up with different ways: someone throws the bike and runs himself. They tell him: "No, I couldn't stand the rules and conditions!" Then the child takes the bicycle and runs with it. But again it doesn't get the desired result. At best, the child will say: "I can't, teach me!". However, in most cases, he will be offended at first, and then stop trying.

Using the example, we understand that first of all we need to teach the child to pedal. Here and in studies - the psychological readiness of the child is just as important a component of the success of the first grader.

Parents are confused: "We developed the child everywhere, why did this happen?" Most likely, the reason is that the child was learning, and not the development of his personal qualities and adaptive mechanisms.

Often parents want to get a consultation with a psychologist, but they are going to help the child themselves. But, unfortunately, they will not succeed on their own. After all, they have already raised their child up to seven years, and they have not formed important qualities. For various reasons: someone did not devote enough time to the child, someone simply does not know how to raise children (he knows how to love and pamper).

But even without parents, it will not be possible to achieve the desired result. Only in close cooperation will psychologists, parents and teachers help a first-grader become interested in learning and become successful at school.

Specialists of the children's psychological center "ART".

When your little one starts 1st grade, the carefree time is over for both of you, even if it didn't seem carefree to you at all. Ahead of you is a huge number of various difficulties, which will have to be overcome by joint efforts. Most likely, during the entire 1st year of study, you will have to closely monitor the child's homework and do homework with the first grader together. Otherwise, you risk missing the moment, and it will be extremely difficult for your baby to adapt to the school curriculum and the new life schedule. Meanwhile, the first year of education is basic, right now the basics are being laid, and not only directly educational, but also the psychological, physiological skills of the child for learning at school. If you miss them, it will be difficult to count on good academic performance in the future.

First-grader homework is an age-old problem for parents

When a child goes to school, the question of doing homework is acute. In the "smart books" everything is written about this smoothly, but okay: the child must do homework on his own. Parents help only at the initial stage, then the first grader overcomes school wisdom himself. And then your child grows conscious, responsible and independent. Great picture! However, few people manage to see this with their own eyes, I personally have not met either such miracle children or their happy parents.

With girls in the lower grades, in a sense, somehow easier. They are more diligent, attentive and responsible (although once at a time, of course, not necessary). As for boys, here the picture is the same for almost all parents. In front of the doors of any school, you can meet worried mothers of first-graders, leading a conversation in the following format: “Well, I just don’t know how to do homework with a child, I have already tried everything - it’s all to no avail. And we changed the time of the classes, starting from the difficult, then from the simple, we will discuss everything in detail, write it on a draft, then rewrite it, and additionally study on weekends, and he will read it on his own, and then I will explain everything again. But all to no avail, there is no result, only one hassle, both for me and for him.

And poor parents rush between two extremes. If they allow the child to prepare homework assignments on their own, then they get stretched C grades. If first-graders do homework together, they get better grades, but at the same time depriving the child of independence and responsibility for homework.

And how to be? How to prepare homework with a child, how to develop these very responsibility and independence in him, how to instill in him the ability to do homework quickly, and not for 5 hours in a row, but “under pressure”, and what to do if a first grader does not want to do lessons in general?

You can, of course, say a lot of smart, moralizing words, recommend a couple of scientific treatises on the topic, but in the end it is you who will have to solve this problem, taking into account the individuality and character of your child. We will only try to suggest you a few right directions that can work in your particular case. And you - buckle up!

Is it necessary, and how to do homework with a first grader?

Of course, during this period of time, it is absolutely impossible to leave homework to chance, even if you have a super-responsible child who is familiar with the 1st grade program firsthand. You definitely need to do homework with a first grader together. However, there is another side of the coin - if the child is not given freedom of action, he will very soon forget what independence is. There are a lot of examples of this: while you are sitting “over his soul”, the child is trying, doing homework, and you clearly see that he is doing well, and he remembers the rules and knows how to use them, but as soon as you move away - all the process stops, there are a lot of blots in the notebook and almost zero result.

Therefore, you need to find a middle ground. That is, think about what kind of tasks the baby is able to perform without your help, so that you only inspect him. For example, a child can complete drawing lessons at home without your presence, and he probably has some abilities for several more complex subjects - just watch him. But arithmetic, spelling and other "difficult" tasks need to be disassembled by joint efforts. And it's okay that the child shifts the lion's share of responsibility to you and without hesitation "uses" your help - you do not need to demand everything from him at once. In addition, he will remember much more than he could on his own.

Doing homework with a first grader of 6 years of age should not be done at home at all. As a rule, such children are not given homework, and therefore you do not burden him once again with any training sessions! This is due to the increased fatigue of children at this age. If, in addition to schoolwork, a 6-year-old kid also has homework, this threatens with nervous overwork, which seriously harms health and drastically reduces the school success of children. You need to deal with six-year-olds at home in the same way as with preschoolers: play, sculpt, draw, design. And if you still want to make an educational moment - read children's encyclopedias with your baby before going to bed, this will be more than enough.

Children's inattention and disobedience have a bad effect on homework. How to overcome them, or at least minimize them? Try the following tips:

Business time - fun hour. To begin with, make it a rule to coordinate in advance with the baby the time when you start homework. In the future, day by day, strictly adhere to the schedule, do not postpone or postpone the time of the lessons. So the baby will be able to get used to planning, will be more assiduous and organized.

It’s better to start doing homework with a first grader 1.5 hours after returning from school - later it will be more difficult for him to “resurrect” everything he learned during the day in his memory, and concentration of attention may weaken. Previously, it’s also not worth it, because his brain and body are not yet accustomed to such loads, and the baby will not have time to rest, which means he will be absent-minded and slow.

We fight inattention. The attention of a child at this age is still unstable, any little thing can easily distract him: a bright eraser on the table, the view from the window, the sound of the TV .... Therefore, while doing homework, remove absolutely all unnecessary items from the baby’s desktop and provide conditions that do not distract his attention. At his workplace should be only those items that are necessary for a particular task. That is, if, for example, he sat down to do arithmetic lessons, there should not be colored pencils, an album for drawing, and even a spelling notebook on the table. And also remove the ruler if its use is not required in a given task.

To do lessons quickly. The best way, although not always working, is to create the right motivation for the child. You can start preparing homework for a certain time before the start of your favorite animated series. Thus, the child will be more motivated to try to do the lessons quickly and efficiently. After all, in case of incorrect completion of the task, he will have to rewrite everything again, and he will miss the cartoon.

On the other hand, this method is not suitable for all children. Some people are able to master the material only evenly, in “small portions”. If your toddler is one of them, then the way to do homework with a first grader for 15 minutes is more suitable for you, then take a break, and continue again. A cartoon in this case, during the rest period, can also act as a motive, but to complete one task, and not all homework lessons.

We inspire you to take action. For successful study, it is extremely important that the child has high self-esteem. Therefore, do not forget to praise the baby even for the smallest successes. To do homework with a child, you need to periodically repeat that he is well done, he does everything correctly, diligently and quickly. It is better to ignore the mistake once again, suggesting the correct answer, but be sure to praise for the correctness and accuracy. Speak, and sometimes even “surprise” aloud, how smart and literate he is.

You need to do homework with a first grader in a calm atmosphere. When helping your child with tasks, never raise your voice at him, no matter how "stupid" he may seem to you at that moment. Otherwise, your child will associate the completion of lessons with negative emotions, and resist it with all his might. Then you will have another problem - the first grader does not want to do homework. Your voice should always be measured, even and reassuring.

Learn to read quickly and with pleasure. Home reading is best done before bed. Therefore, if the first-grader's homework includes reading a story, do not force the child to read and retell it when completing all other tasks, but rather leave it for the evening. At this time, oddly enough, the corresponding brain centers are activated, allowing the baby to learn to read quickly and correctly. Read before going to bed, discuss what you read - do not demand to retell what he read, but talk about it. Go for the trick, saying that you have never heard of this or did not understand what was said, inspire the child to explain to his "inattentive" mother what was the matter.

In order for a first grader to better learn to comprehend what he read, try to buy him books with lots of pictures and not a lot of text. Children's encyclopedias will help develop reading speed, and in addition, they will teach the baby to pronounce complex letter combinations and expand vocabulary.

5 steps to prepare homework successfully

Your baby is at the very beginning of a long journey of the school year, and you are with him, of course. Therefore, if you treat first-grader homework as hard labor, then it will not end in anything good. If you perceive the educational process as an opportunity to learn something new, learn something interesting, acquire useful skills and habits, then the time you spend with your child doing homework will pass quickly, unnoticed and bring pleasure.

Step number 1. Properly equip the first-grader's workplace

- First, make sure that the child's workplace is organized correctly. It must be well lit. It is necessary that the light source be in front and to the left, then the shadow from the hand or from the head will not fall on the notebook. It’s good if your first-grader has his own workplace, where the child always has homework - this helps, after the game he will switch to a working mode. He should have a comfortable place so that the child does not have to squeeze between the bed and the closet, and so that it is convenient for you to come up, sit next to him and help if necessary, and not hang over him like a thundercloud.

- In the process of preparing homework, there should not be extra items on the table. We remove everything that is even theoretically capable of distracting. And everything necessary for the successful completion of the task, all stationery, school supplies, must be placed neatly in their places. Otherwise, the usual search for a pencil can turn into a grandiose search and take a lot of time.

Step number 2. Correctly organize the educational process at home

- First-graders should do their homework at the same time. Postpone once means you can postpone again and again. So in the end, the lessons will be done at the last moment and somehow, just to do it. To find the best time, take into account the nature of the baby and the intra-family schedule (time for walking, visiting, eating, returning dad from work, etc.). The child should not sit at home when the grandmother comes to visit or you and your younger brother or sister go to the playground.

- It is best to start the task after an hour and a half after returning from school, so that the baby has time to rest from classes, but is not yet overexcited and not tired of playing with friends and home entertainment. Scientific studies show that the intellectual activity of children increases after a little physical activity, so he needs to play after school, but only in moderation.

- It is wrong to demand from a child that he does not get up from the table until he finishes doing his homework. The time of continuous work for a 7-year-old child cannot exceed 15-20 minutes; towards the end of elementary school, the duration of this time can increase to 30-40 minutes.

- Breaks should not be long either - 5 minutes is enough, especially if they are devoted to intense physical activity. During these 5 minutes, you can play ball with the baby.

Step #3: Strive for Self-Sufficiency

Of course, doing homework requires your participation and control. But how to understand where the line is between help and deprivation of independence? For an impartial assessment of the level of help you really need, talk to your first grade teacher. Perhaps your baby learns the material better when studying on his own and you only need to check the result and sometimes clarify incomprehensible points. And perhaps the baby is easier to learn when he talks to someone about all his actions, and then you need to do homework with the child together. But just do not do the homework first-graders yourself!

- Well, if you do homework with a first-grader, you will be at a time when other children are doing the same. If you have several children, it will probably be more interesting for them to do homework together, and at this time you can iron / lay out laundry or deal with your payments. So you will be nearby, control the process if necessary, prompt sometimes, and go about your business. The main thing is that your affairs do not distract the student and are not more attractive to him than his own activities. During the performance of tasks, the child should not turn on the TV, computer, video games, etc.

- In order for your student to improve his independent work skills, teach him to use dictionaries, encyclopedias and reference books. Trying to cope with the task without outside help and find answers to all questions on their own, the baby learns to think rationally, thoughtfully. And, besides, the information learned in this way is remembered much better than the answers provided “on a silver platter”.

Step number 4. Do not dwell on the flawlessness and error-free execution of lessons

– The desire of the child to do everything right is already worthy of praise. The main thing is not to overdo it, because doing everything and always is completely simply unrealistic, even for you, not like a baby. Therefore, do not force him to rewrite the completed task with blots over and over again until he does it perfectly. This is detrimental to the psyche of the child, he will take it as a punishment. And punishment for effort is a sure way to make a child hate school in general.

- No need to give the child additional homework, in addition to those that were asked at school. Also, you should not be forced to redo badly done classwork. You can offer to check it and correct errors, but you definitely don’t need to rewrite it. The child perceives the re-execution of an already completed task (even with errors) as a boring and meaningless task. Such tasks discourage the child from doing, deprive him of faith in his own strength.

- Some children torture themselves with self-criticism and redoing tasks several times - this should not please parents. Diligence and striving for excellence is, of course, good, but everything is good in moderation. Be clear about how many times he can redo each task at most, how much time he can spend, and when to stop. Such a pathological desire for ideality should make parents think, perhaps the baby's self-esteem suffers and you should cheer him up, praise and encourage him more often. If necessary, talk with the student together with the teacher, let him explain that homework is needed to hone abilities, consolidate and repeat new knowledge, and not for perfect memorization. Often, younger students listen more to the opinion of the teacher than their parents - at this age this is normal.

Step number 5. If the first grader does not want to do homework

If, despite all the efforts made, a first grader does not want to do homework, stubbornly refuses to do homework, the first thing to do is to find out the true reason for such behavior. Perhaps a first-grader does not want to do homework, simply because he does not understand the given material, or missed the previous one. Talk to the teacher about your student's progress, about the speed with which he learns new material, about his behavior in the classroom.

Perhaps additional classes will help correct the situation, the baby will understand the educational material and stop being capricious. Maybe it will be enough just to break the homework into components, into several smaller ones, not so “global”. Having achieved a positive result in one part, the child may well be inspired by success and want to continue.

Most importantly, do not forget to praise your student for good work, and be sure to do it from the heart - children are very sensitive to insincerity. He is at the beginning of a long and difficult journey, he really needs your support and your faith in him now.

A little more about how to prepare homework with a first grader:

It is no secret that for many parents, the question of how to get a child to do homework is especially relevant. And this is not an idle question. After all, often preparing homework becomes a big test for the whole family.

Remember how many tears, experiences it took to learn what century Yuri Dolgoruky was born in or how to calculate an integral equation! How many children remember with hatred their school years, the teachers who tortured them with exorbitant household chores, the parents who forced them to do these jobs under duress! Let's not repeat these mistakes. But how do you teach your children to learn? Let's try with the help of psychologists to give some answers to these difficult questions.

Why does the child refuse to work?

The first question that parents must answer for themselves is why the child does not want to study at home? There are a lot of answers to it.

A child may simply be afraid to make a mistake when doing homework, he may simply be lazy, afraid of the parents themselves, he may simply lack motivation for homework. Also, a child may simply be tired of the fact that he has a lot of study load, because, in addition to a regular school, he attends a musical institution, an art circle and a chess section. It's like A. Barto, "Drama circle, photo circle ...". At this point, it’s true, there are too many things for a child to do, so he has to unconsciously refuse something. So he refuses to do homework.

However, schoolchildren have plenty of other motives for refusing to complete lessons. But parents must go through all the options in their minds and find the only correct answer that fits the character of their child. Moreover, it should be remembered that homework in a modern school is a very difficult task, often, in order to complete it, the efforts of literally all family members are needed. After all, programs are becoming more and more complicated, even in the first grade today a child should already read about 60 words per minute. It's in the third quarter! But before, our mothers and fathers, being first-graders themselves, learned only to add letters.

Well, if the parents have identified the reasons why the child refuses to do homework, then they need to accustom themselves to patience and understand that the difficult mission of home mentors awaits them.

Let's talk about motivation

The key to success in this case is the positive motivation of the child to do homework. It takes a lot of effort to build that motivation. First of all, these efforts are based on positive school experience. If your child is not doing well at school, then he will perceive homework as a continuation of school torture.

Therefore, positive motivation is developed, first of all, within the walls of the school, and only then at home. Here we can talk about the need for close interaction between the school and the family.

Well, what about those parents who understand that they cannot find an answer to the question of how to make a child do homework without scandals, due to the fact that the child simply does not like the school that he has to go to every day? Such parents can be advised to solve this issue on principle, up to changing schools or finding another teacher.

In general, fathers and mothers need to be very sensitive in matters of schooling. It also happens that in the classroom the child gets the unenviable role of “stuffed animal”, “whipping boy”, relations with classmates do not add up, others offend your child. Naturally, he does not want to study at all. After all, how can you go to school if you are not loved and offended there? What is the right way to do homework...

Does age play a role?

Much in this matter is decided by the age at which the child himself is. It happens, for example, that a child does not want to do homework, grade 1, in which he is still studying, simply has not yet formed the correct positive motivation. In this case, it is much easier to interest such a first grader than an older student.

In general, parents of first-graders need to remember that their children go through an adaptation process in the first quarter. Therefore, the problem of how to make a child do homework without scandals is not yet so significant. There will be scandals in this case. But there is a chance that they will stop when your son or daughter goes through the difficult process of adjusting to first grade.

Also, parents of first-graders need to remember that it is the 1st grade that is the “golden time” on which all the future successes or failures of their child depend. After all, this is the period when your son or daughter understands what school is, why you need to study, what they want to achieve in their class. The personality of the first teacher is also very important in this matter. It is a wise and kind teacher who can become for your child that guide to the world of knowledge, a person who will show the way to life. Therefore, the personality of such a teacher is very important for children! If a first-grader is afraid of his teacher, does not trust him, then this, of course, will have a very bad effect on his studies and the desire to do homework.

How to make a high school student do homework?

But this is a more difficult question. After all, parents can still put pressure on the baby, they can force him, using, in the end, their authority, but what about the offspring, who is in a transitional age? After all, nothing can force such a child to learn. Yes, it is much more difficult to cope with a teenager. Here you need patience, tact, the ability to understand. Parents need to think about the question of how to do homework with a child without screaming, because, perhaps, often they themselves simply provoke a conflict, unable to stand it and blaming their grown-up son or daughter for all sins. And teenagers react very sharply to criticism, it is difficult for them to cope with it, as a result they simply refuse to do the work that is given at school at home.

The transitional age in which schoolchildren are from 12 to 14-15 years old can seriously affect a student's progress. Children at this moment experience serious physical and psychological stress, often they experience their first love, strive to impress their peers. What kind of education is there? And parents at this age become a kind of opponents for children, because a teenager seeks to break away from his family, to get the right to manage his own life. Overly authoritarian parents in this case begin to put a lot of pressure on their children to call them to obedience. But they do not always achieve this obedience, but it happens that the child begins to protest. And often the refusal to do homework is the result of this protest.

Teach Children Responsibility

A good help for all parents who seek to build relationships with their child, and at the same time make their son or daughter study well, is to find the answer to the question of how to teach a child to do homework on his own? After all, if you teach your child from the very first years at school to the fact that he himself must be responsible for his actions, then perhaps this responsibility will accompany him all the remaining school years. In general, it is very important to teach children to understand that everything in life depends on their actions, on their desires and aspirations.

Think about why your child is studying, what did you inspire him? Did you tell him that he is studying for a career that lies ahead of him in a nebulous future? Did you explain to him that the learning process is a kind of work, difficult work, the result of which will be knowledge about the world of people that cannot be bought for money? Think about what you are talking with your child, what are you teaching him?

Therefore, before analyzing the problem of if the child does not learn lessons, what to do with him, try to understand yourself. And don't forget about the example you set for your children. After all, your attitude to work, housework will also become a kind of incentive for your children to study. Therefore, with all your appearance, demonstrate that studying has always been a matter of interest to you, continue to study with your children, even if you are already 40 years old!

Use methodical techniques!

Of course, it is worth remembering about modern methodological techniques. There are many such methods. Most of them, however, are aimed at helping children of primary school age. These are various games that are held before and after doing homework, stimulating the cognitive activity of children, retelling, and so on. An old methodical technique is to draw up a daily routine for a child. Even your first grader needs to know how much time he has for school, extracurricular activities, games and, of course, lessons. After all, you, being preoccupied with the problem of how to make a child do homework, should help in every possible way in this.

Do not do homework instead of your son or daughter!

Very often, parents make another pedagogical mistake. From a very early age, they teach their child to what lessons do with him instead of him. The child quickly realizes that his task is simply to do, to rewrite what mom or dad has already prepared for him. Don't make this mistake! Thus, you accustom your child to the fact that without labor, at the expense of others, much can be achieved in life. And it turns out, as in Dragunsky's story "Vasya's dad is strong ...". Don't be like mom and dad. Remember, you must know the answer to the question of how to teach a child to do their homework on their own. This is your parental duty!

Another common mistake is the excessive ambition of parents who want to make young geniuses out of their children at all costs. Moreover, such parents often simply “break” the psyche of their children themselves, simply forgetting that they should be concerned about the problem of how to teach a child to do homework, and not about how to raise a young talent in all subjects.

Very often, homework in such families turns into torture for children. Mom or dad forces a son or daughter to rewrite the same task several times, achieving its perfect completion, parents find fault with trifles, they are stingy with praise. So what is left for the kids to do? Of course, after some time, children refuse to work, fall into tantrums, showing with all their appearance that they simply cannot become young geniuses, as their parents want from them. But this is still the easiest case. But it happens that parents inspire their children with a “complex of an excellent student or an excellent student”, setting him tasks that their children simply cannot complete.

For example, an ambitious mother, who has raised her son alone all her life, dreams of him becoming a great violinist and giving his concerts all over the world. Her son really successfully studies at a music school, but he could not rise above the level of a music school, let's say this: he simply did not have enough talent and patience. And what should such a mother do, who in her imagination has already elevated her son to the rank of great musicians of our time? She does not need an ordinary loser son ... And how can this young man be reproached for the fact that nature did not make him a genius?

Or another example. Parents dream of their daughter defending her doctoral dissertation. Moreover, it is not even very important for them that scientific direction within which this should be done. The girl is instilled with this family dream from a young age, she is required to achieve wonderful results in a scientific career, but the girl has intellectual abilities only above average, as a result, her desire for a degree ends in a mental hospital.

Agree that these examples are sad, but they are the very flesh of our real life. Often, very often, parents do this with their children.

What if the subject is simply not given?

It also happens that the subject is simply not given to the child. Well, your son or daughter does not have the ability for physics or chemistry, for example. What to do in this case? How to make a child do homework if he does not understand anything, simply does not understand how to solve this or that task? Here, parental patience alone is no longer enough. You need endurance, tact, and another person who can explain a difficult task to a child. In this case, it would be wiser for parents to hire a tutor for their son or daughter to help resolve this issue in a positive way.

Is it possible to do lessons for money or gifts?

Recently, parents have begun to use a simple method of manipulation, which is simply called bribery. Its essence lies in the fact that a father or mother, without thinking about an objective solution to the question of how to do homework with a child, simply seek to bribe their child with various promises. It can be both sums of money, and just gifts: a cell phone, a bicycle, entertainment. However, it is worth warning all parents against this method of influencing children. This is ineffective because the child will start demanding more and more over and over again. There are a lot of homework every day, and now your child is not satisfied with just a smartphone, he needs an iPhone, and he has the right to it, because he is studying, he will fulfill all school requirements, etc. And then, imagine how harmful the habit for their daily work, which is the responsibility of the child, to demand from their parents any handouts.

What should parents do? Psychologist's opinion

Experienced specialists in the field of psychology advise parents to help their child do homework. You need to help with a mind and a loving heart. In general, a sense of proportion is ideal here. In this case, the parent must be both strict and demanding, and kind, and fair. He must have patience, remember tact, respect the personality in his child, not strive to make a genius out of his son or daughter, understand that each person has his own character, inclinations and abilities.

It is very important to show the child that he is always dear to his parents. You can tell your son or daughter that the father or mother is proud of him, proud of his academic success and believe that he can overcome all his academic difficulties on his own. And if there is a problem in the family - the child does not do homework, the advice of a psychologist will come in handy in resolving it.

Finally, all parents should remember that children always need our support. Studying for a child is a real job with its problems, ups, successes and falls. Children change a lot in the process of schooling, they acquire new character traits, learn not only to understand the world, but also to learn. And of course, teachers and their closest and most faithful comrades, parents, should help children along this path!