Whether to take a grandmother on vacation: pros and cons. Vacation together: how and when you can leave the child to the grandmother Grandmother is taking her grandson on vacation what documents
To begin with, it should be noted that the power of attorney, on the basis of which parents allow someone to accompany the child on a trip, is a document with a not entirely clear legal status. Formally, this kind of document is required only in one case - if the child travels outside of our state. Inside Russia, however, such a document is optional.
However, a power of attorney can also be very useful. So, if there is one, then neither the conductors on the trains, nor the crew members of aircraft or ships, and even more so the traffic police will have questions about who exactly accompanies the child and on what basis. Even if a minor is traveling with a grandmother or grandfather, how can they quickly prove that they are related to him? Indeed, such information is not indicated in passports or birth certificates.
That is why it is highly desirable for an accompanying person to have the following documents when traveling with a child:
It should also be noted that upon reaching a certain age (10 years old on trains, 12 years old on planes or buses), a child can formally use intercity transport on his own. True, it should be borne in mind that in many cities there is a so-called curfew rule, which states that after a certain time, minors can only be in public places accompanied by adults. In case of violation, the child may be detained until the moment when one of his relatives picks him up. The accompanying person with a power of attorney or simply a power of attorney issued to the child himself, removes such questions.
How is a power of attorney issued to accompany a minor child in Russia?
Thus, although no one should be interested in a power of attorney for a child when traveling around Russia without parents, it is useful to have it with you. How to arrange it correctly?
There are no specific requirements for the content of such a power of attorney. It is enough to follow only general rules:
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- The power of attorney must contain the names and passport details of both the parents and the accompanying person.
- It is necessary to indicate the full name of the child, his date of birth and the details of the document that certifies his identity (passport, if the age is over 14 years old, or certificates).
- It is required to indicate the authority of the maintainer (at least briefly).
- The date on which the power of attorney was issued must be indicated. It is not necessary to specify the expiration date, but it is better to do it anyway.
It should be noted that in such a situation, it is possible to contact a notary, but it is not at all necessary. The law only requires notarization of powers of attorney or permits to travel abroad. When moving within the country, the will of the parents themselves, a few minutes of time and a sheet of paper is enough to issue this document.
How to write a power of attorney for a child to a grandmother (sample drafting)
Its text will be something like this:
« We, (full name and passport details of mother and father), trust (name of grandmother), passport (passport data), to accompany a minor son (daughter) (full name of the child, date of birth, details of his document) through the territory of Russia, to represent our interests in relation to to the child in all official bodies, to be responsible for his life and health for the period from ... to ... "
Below are the signatures of the parents and the date of compilation.
Additionally, you can specify that traveling abroad of Russia, as well as the grandmother’s delay at home, are not allowed (however, this is no longer necessary).
Can I use a power of attorney form for a child for a grandmother?
Many legal sites offer their visitors the opportunity to download a power of attorney form. Is it possible to use a document drawn up on such a form?
The law does not contain any restrictions in this regard. A power of attorney can be prepared both in a purely handwritten form, or use a form, or even completely printed on a printer - the main thing is that it contains all the necessary information and signatures are made by hand.
Can only one of the parents issue a power of attorney for a child for a grandmother in Russia?
It is highly desirable that both parents draw up a power of attorney, however, there are cases when, for some reason, it is impossible to obtain the signature of one of them. Will a power of attorney issued only by the mother or only by the father be valid?
The law does not prohibit the issuance of such powers of attorney. In this case, the grandmother will act on behalf of only one of the parents, but a trip within Russia is not a situation where the consent of both is required. Thus, if it is not possible to certify the power of attorney from both the mother and the father, the signature of only one of the parents is sufficient.
A vacation with a child, especially with a baby, is always a test of strength. Whether your grandmother will help on vacation or create additional difficulties depends largely on your characters and relationships. Let's list the most obvious pluses and minuses of joint rest.
PLUS #1. GRANDMA WILL HELP WITH THE CHILD
Help with a child is perhaps the main reason why young parents invite their grandmothers to summer cottages and the sea. Grandma is a universal soldier and extra eyes and hands on vacation. She will make sure that the baby does not drown in the river and does not eat fly agaric in the forest. She will gladly play with him in Easter cakes and read a bedtime story. She will walk with a stroller along the coast and feed her grandson a delicious breakfast while his parents are sleeping.
Grandmother will readily replace a tired mother on a round-the-clock parental watch. In general, the more nannies a baby has, the calmer the rest will be for everyone. Moreover, the grandmother is not only free, but also the most loving nanny in the world.
PLUS #2. GIVE YOU FREE TIME
Grandma will give you the vacation itself on vacation. While the child is under her care, you will have the most valuable thing for parents - personal time. Let not for the whole day, but you can always leave a child with her and run away for a swim, walk, drink coffee in silence.
It's nice to go to a bar in the evening, to a disco or take a walk around the city while the grandmother guards the sacred dream of the baby. Just like the good old childless days. Unless, of course, the parents have the strength to do so.
PLUS #3. WILL MAKE A GREAT COMPANY
Communicating with a baby is fun and pleasant, but sometimes you want to switch and talk with an adult. Intellectual loneliness is especially acute when a mother is resting with a child without a husband or girlfriends.
Grandma will not let you get bored, she will make you a warm and chatty company on the beach, for evening tea or for a walk. You can discuss football, neighbors or plans for life with your mother or mother-in-law. It is important that she will not only listen like casual acquaintances, but also hear you, simply because she cares.
PLUS #4. THIS HOLIDAY WILL STRENGTHEN THE GENERATIONAL LINK...
Vacation is a good time to get to know each other better, to strengthen the bond between three generations of the family. You will have a unique chance to hear funny or touching stories from your childhood, because in ordinary life there is not always time for such memories. Grandma will tell you what you were like at the age of your child and how she coped with parenting responsibilities without washing machines and diapers. You will be warm from these stories.
And it is equally important that the child will spend several weeks next to his grandmother, will absorb her love, wisdom, her speech turns and sayings. He will remember this trip as the golden time of his childhood, when everyone was alive and everyone was there.
PLUS #5. ...AND PLEASE GRANDMA
We so often want to do something nice for our parents, to thank them for taking care of us in childhood. A joint vacation will surely please your grandmother and make her life a little brighter and more interesting, even if it is another trip to your common dacha, not to mention a vacation at sea.
It is important for older people to feel valued and needed, they want to take care of the younger generation, to be in the circle of loved ones and loving people, to feel like part of a big family. An indispensable part.
MINUS #1. VACATION WILL COST MORE
Yes, most likely, taking your grandmother with you, you will spend more money. A separate hotel room, additional expenses for food and entertainment - all this will increase the budget of the trip. And if the issue of finances is acute, then it is better to do on vacation on your own.
True, they say, there are grandmothers who not only pay for their holidays, but also help a young family not to go broke on cafes and water parks. But this is a rare, almost disappearing species of relatives.
Perhaps this is the fattest minus, because of which many families prefer to relax separately from the older generation. And yes, no matter how angel your mother or mother-in-law is, she will definitely give advice and criticize, this destructive option is built into any grandmother by default. Surely she will not like something in the organization of rest. The sea or the river will not be warm enough, the food will not be very satisfying, the hotel staff will be rude. And of course you will be to blame for this, but who else?
There is enough time on vacation - old conflicts will sparkle with new colors, and fresh ones will make your vacation life dynamic and unpredictable. After a week of such pressure, you will be ready to return to work ahead of schedule or buy your mother a return ticket.
MINUS #3. YOU HAVE TO AGREE PLANS
Everyone loves to relax, but everyone understands something different by rest. Someone likes to lie on the beach and sip orange juice, someone likes to dig in the garden or walk for hours along the seashore. A child will always adapt to his parents, but with a grandmother it will be more difficult. For example, if you suddenly decide to leave the hotel for another city and spend the day there, then this maneuver will have to be coordinated, and it’s not at all a fact that the grandmother will not veto these plans.
However, the grandmother will also adapt to you, this is a two-way process. There is nothing critical in coordinating plans, but still it imposes some restrictions and can be annoying.
MINUS #4. RELAXING WILL BE DIFFICULT
It is clear that rest with a child is, in principle, not about relaxation, but, on the contrary, about the exertion of all forces for the benefit of a bare-assed toddler. But in the rare moments of childhood sleep, you still have to remember: your grandmother is nearby and she is watching. Well, that is, you will most likely eat an extra glass of wine with the stern look of a pensioner.
It is especially difficult to win back personal space if you live with your grandmother in the same room or house. You don’t look like underwear anymore, you can’t climb on the bed with your legs - what kind of relaxation is there, what kind of rest?
MINUS #5. GRANDMA WILL INTERFERE IN EDUCATION OF THE CHILD
Grandmothers always know better than anyone what to dress a child in, how to feed him, how much he needs to walk and sleep. This, on the one hand, removes part of the responsibility from the parents, but, on the other hand, reduces their self-confidence. And it happens that the grandmother kind of jokingly tells the kid what stupid mom and dad he has - absolute ignoramuses both in rest and in education. Such conversations undermine parental authority.
Often, out of kindness, grandmothers give children harmful store-bought sweets or products that are dangerous for a particular child. Allergy sufferers especially suffer from such initiatives, and such experiments with nutrition can end in disaster. Or, on the contrary, there are too quivering grannies who put socks on their grandson at plus thirty, and when they try to take them off, they grab their hearts.
Ekaterina Mazeina
Of course, the mother is the most important thing for the child. Nobody argues. Only mom can blow on a fresh bump on him, only mom can listen to the story about Vova, who is pushing. Only mother can sing a special lullaby at night. Only mom cooks diet meatball soup. Only… Only now, my mother is very tired. Mom hasn't been to the south for three years. Mom really wants to forget a little meatball soup and lie down on the shore of some vulgar warm sea. With a loved man. No, do not dig trenches out of sand and do not build fortresses. Just lie down with your eyes closed. One word: not a mother, but a viper.
The question, at what age can you leave a child and wash away from him for a couple of weeks to the sea, has no clear answer. The answer varies depending on what this very child is, and also - what is the mother who is going to run away from him. To a lesser extent, the answer depends on the sea. The main thing is that it should not be cold: the mother must return to her child on time and in good shape. If the sea does not appeal to you, and you are going to climb mountains instead, then the mountains probably should not be too high. Returning you to the beginning of the conversation, let me remind you that a mother is the main thing for a child.
Only what time?
Not a single psychologist will recommend that you, without urgent need, leave an infant in the care of a nanny, even if the nanny is ready to offer her baby instead of your breast. If you are breastfeeding your baby, your vacation is not a good reason to stop breastfeeding. The child is guaranteed a double trauma: the termination of breastfeeding and the unexpected disappearance of the mother in an unknown direction. If you still decide to leave, weaning the baby must be completed a couple of months before your intended absence, so that these two events do not stick together in the perception of the baby into one big unpleasant lump. Ideally, you should not leave a one-year-old baby at all, regardless of what he is used to eating - meatball soup or you.If the child is already two years old, the issue of your leave is decided according to the situation. At this age, children are no longer different, but very different. Mommy's sons (as well as daughters), it's still not worth throwing. If you practice leaving the child with a certain person who is ready to let you rest, you should think about it.
A three-year-old child is already a complex person. Only a mother can predict his behavior, and this is exactly what you need to do before planning your vacation. Some three-year-olds depend on their mother in the same way as other one-year-olds. This is typical for babies who have been breastfed for a long time. The logic can be reversed: because the baby was on it for so long, that for some reason he needs his mother a little more than other peers. It would be a mistake to measure a child by a general measure: treat him as if he were still a year old: do not leave him.
If you, having weighed everything, decided that the baby will do without you, feel free to go. The sea has been waiting for you for a long time.
But not paranoia.If you decide to go, be rational about this whole undertaking. Trying to make a list of emergencies for your grandmother or babysitter is like trying to leave your own backup at home instead of yourself. Accept for yourself the idea that the people around your child are a little different, but they all want the best for him and will do everything right. Of course, grandmother's meatballs will not be as tasty as yours, but they will surely turn out to be no less (and maybe even more) dietary. And if a child inadvertently eats a tiny bug on the street, then this is far from the last time. The mosquitoes of the child were repeatedly bitten even with you, and nothing happened. Believe me, it will be the same this time! To feel at ease, leave the list of CC to the responsible person:
- Child's day routine. Separately mark items that can be performed loosely or ignored.
- The phone number of some person who can help in case of force majeure.
- A place in the apartment where extra money is - just in case.
- Phone of a pediatrician or polyclinic, ambulance. Don't forget to put the number "03" there, because only you know it!
But what about mom?
By the way, not only babies are known to science, with difficulty breaking away from their mothers. There are also mothers who are extremely reluctant to break away from their already quite grown-up children. It happens that the baby swings with pleasure on a branch, like a ripe pear, and the mother boringly removes it from there because it's time to kiss her. It is for such a mother that rest from motherhood is absolutely necessary. Yes, let the child rest.Such a mother, of course, provided for everything. The nanny has been checked, the grandmothers have been instructed, and they will check your nanny more than once. Girlfriends will support grandmothers, and you will call them all several times a day.
Is it worth it?
You have been thinking about the child, and the child, and the child for so long. Finally, think about yourself. After all, you go on vacation to relax, right? Try to rest, though. Start, suddenly it will turn out not to go astray? To feel comfortable away from home, do not:- Call there 3 times a day: once is enough.
- Take an album with baby photos with you: you are not going to the front.
- Make a mental list called: “what I didn’t warn about”: it’s unlikely that you forgot something important, you don’t need tides of guilt on the seashore.
- Count the children living in the hotel, comparable in age to yours: probably, their mothers have already had time to rest before that.
- Take a camera with you: the child will be happy to look at the photos with you (and, unlike girlfriends, without envy).
- When buying souvenirs, remember to yourself more often. You will bring a suitcase of gifts for the child.
- Sunbathe and swim. Otherwise, to the question “Mommy, why are you so pale?”, You will have to answer: “Baby, I had no time to rest - I was worried about you.”
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A newborn baby needs a mother around the clock, because he may need something at any time. However, gradually the child grows up, becomes more independent, he has his own interests, even if it's just a new car or bright cubes. By this time, parents begin to gradually get tired of their duties and the huge responsibility associated with the appearance of the baby. A small vacation spent just by the two of you could be a great solution, but moms and dads are afraid to leave the baby.
Rambler/Family finds out at what age a child can be left in the care of a grandmother or a nanny.
Analyzing the situation
Of course, each child is individual: until the age of three or four, someone cannot spend even an hour without a mother, and someone from the age of six months feels quite well in the company of other adults. Even among specialists in the field of child psychology, there is no consensus on the age at which a relatively long separation from parents can be safe for a baby.
Therefore, in order to understand whether such a separation would not be too strong a blow for a fragile child's psyche, Olga Kuznetsova, a psychologist at the Yauza Clinical Hospital, advises taking into account several key factors. An important question is whether breastfeeding has been discontinued.
“It is believed that separation from a child who stopped breastfeeding less than two months ago can negatively affect his emotional state: the simultaneous departure of the mother and weaning is too serious a change for the baby. These two events can intertwine in the mind of the child and negatively affect the development of his personality in the future.
However, even a baby who has been formula-fed from birth can experience serious problems when separated from his mother - this depends on the type of attachment that he has formed in relation to her. To define it, psychologist Olga Kuznetsova believes, is quite simple: “If a child is upset when his mother leaves, but at the same time he knows how to occupy himself during her absence and enjoys returning, this means that he has formed a healthy attachment and there are no pathologies in their relationship. If the baby is hysterical when he sees that his mother is going, cannot find a place for himself without her, and at the next meeting he behaves aggressively and vindictively - this is a reason to think that something is going wrong. Perhaps the child feels excessive maternal care and feels insecure without her.
We create favorable conditions
child with mom
Even if, after looking closely at your baby, you realize that he gets along well with other adults and does not feel a painful need for the constant presence of his mother, the idea of \u200b\u200bgoing on vacation together will require some preparation. First of all, you need to decide on a suitable candidate for a person who will be ready to take responsibility and stay with the child for the period of your trip.
It needs to be devoted in as much detail as possible to all the features of the daily regimen and the behavior of the baby. Tell your grandmother or nanny how your day with your baby is built: what time does he wake up, when and what does he eat, what does he usually do in the morning and afternoon, what time does he go to bed and how long does he sleep during the day, where and how long do you usually walk, how your evening bath and going to bed - all these details can play an important role in ensuring that your child has the usual comfortable life in your absence.
Do not forget to also instruct your "deputy" on how to behave in force majeure situations - if the child has a fever, an allergy, or he is just naughty and does not want to go to bed.
If you plan for a nanny, grandmother or other relative to move in with you during your absence, then the child will not have to get used to the new place. If the child goes to a new home, then think in advance about the adaptation of the baby himself to the conditions in which he will spend a week or more. In the time remaining before your vacation, try to visit more often so that the child gets used to the new place properly. Some experts prefer this option, because at home the baby may feel the absence of parents more acutely, while in a different environment he will remember them less often.
Travel and return
So, the suitcases are packed, the grandmother (or the nanny), instructed and armed with all the necessary equipment, is ready to devote herself completely to the baby during your absence, and the child himself plays merrily in her arms. You just have to get to the place to spend a few unforgettable days together.
For a complete vacation, it is better to choose a place where you can relax, unwind, and actively relax at the same time - that is, cover all possible impressions. In Florence, for example, you will find echoes of a great past, harmony and tranquility of quiet European streets, noisy fun in central institutions and, of course, romance - here it is literally in the air. In a week, you will not only have time to visit all the museums of the capital of Tuscany, but also enjoy each other's company - as if you had a second honeymoon.
Of course, parents, having been separated from the baby for the first time for a long time, will feel some anxiety and anxiety. However, try to still limit yourself to one or two communication sessions a day with your family: this will not create an unnecessary burden on the baby’s psyche, forcing him to more often remember that you are not around, and you yourself will be able to relax and unwind - after all, because that's what it was all about. Make time for each other and enjoy the new environment and vivid impressions.
But upon returning home, be ready to begin your duties with renewed vigor. To them may be added the need to restore weakened contact with the child. Marina Smovzh, psychologist, consultant of the Pomogatel.ru service for finding nannies, head of the Lada personal development studio, notes: “The first thing parents may face is the distrust of the baby. Mom and dad will have to restore it. To use a metaphor, this work of restoring trust can be compared to repaying a loan - you will have to repay not only the debt, but also the interest on it. In other words, get ready to give more to your child.”
